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riverboy
Joined: 03 Jun 2003
Location: Incheon
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 Posted: Mon Jan 12, 2004 5:03 pm Post subject: |
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I know of situations in my old uni in Canada, where a professor had an affair (while married) with a student. He still teaches. Also another Professor married a former sudent. It happens all the time.
Being a male, I thought this would never happen, but had a party and invited my professor in a summer session course I was taking. She got drunk and offered to increase my mark from an -A to an A. Unfortunately, shew also weighed around 250 lbs.
And I also went out on a few dates with a former pfofessor, who held a doctorate in womens studies and was and ardent feminest. She did not see the problem.,
I don't really see too many situations where professors are repramandid.
Jesus, we are talking about consenting adults here. Why should that affect grades? If anything, the added time spent with your partner would improve thier grades. |
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Scott in HK
Joined: 15 Jan 2003
Location: now in Incheon..haven't changed my name yet
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| Posted: Tue Jan 13, 2004 4:21 am Post subject: |
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| Do it, bonk you students and have a great time, it is something I actively encourage as it is one of the very few perks in this silly EFL circus, just be careful, that's all. |
I actively encouraged anyone who thinks teaching is a circus and whose sole purporse for entering a classroom is to 'bonk' their students to stop...stop entering classrooms...you have no place inside them unless perhaps it is to learn...
I think it is my call...because i am a 'teacher' and go into classrooms to do my best to teach my students...and in doing so...I limit the things that might interfere with my teaching. And I like my profession and would like to see the bonkers and clowns out of it...so when they pipe up and moan on about consenting adults, I like to tell to pipe down and switch professions.
I shudder to think that anyone actually entered teaching for the chance to bonk their students....that someone may enter a classroom with this on their mind...these types should simply be thrown out of the classroom...if you are a 'bonker', you could always hang around outside a school and wait for students to come down....I know it might be a little harder as you are not wearing the mantle of teacher and the number of bonks may decrease but if you keep at it....I am sure you could start another career and still bonk as many students as you want |
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Homer
Guest
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| Posted: Tue Jan 13, 2004 4:25 am Post subject: |
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river,
"If anything, the added time spent with your partner would improve thier grades."
Thats the whole point of not dating your students...ever hear of conflict of interest mate? |
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riverboy
Joined: 03 Jun 2003
Location: Incheon
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| Posted: Tue Jan 13, 2004 7:49 am Post subject: |
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I suppose you could call it a conflict of interest. So when I agree to go drinking with students and they pay the bill, is that a conflic of interest?
Even if I drink with them and thier English skill improve, is that beyond the bounds of teacher pupil relationship?
I just don't see a real problem if the person is not looking to screw as many people as possible as opposed to having genuine feelings for someone. |
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Homer
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| Posted: Tue Jan 13, 2004 12:25 pm Post subject: |
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Thats different river....
Your talking about a class outing as opposed to dating...hopefully that was a mistake on your part...otherwise its back to the a-b-c's for ya mate...  |
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Derrek
Joined: 15 Jan 2003
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| Posted: Tue Jan 13, 2004 1:29 pm Post subject: |
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| Butterfly wrote: |
I almost exclusively dated my students for most of my teaching career, why else would anyone be a TEFL teacher?
It's silly to say that a relationship between consenting adults is unethical. Why? Why?
Sh*t where you eat? Why equate sh*tting with a beautiful relationship between a man and a woman? |
Depends on how the relationship ends, and if you're still working with (or teaching) the person.
It's not uncommon for one or both parties to feel awkward after the dating ends. Having to see that person every day after it's over is what the"shi*" comment means.
You may have a heart of steel, and not care either way, but she may not, and might make your work life a hell. She might make up crap and tell other students or teachers -- you never know.
Endure that kind of stuff, as I had for 7 months after dating a co-worker, and you'll understand the "shi*" comment much better. |
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Derrek
Joined: 15 Jan 2003
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| Posted: Tue Jan 13, 2004 1:34 pm Post subject: |
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| supernick wrote: |
I find it hard to put ethical or unethical in the same sentence regarding anything about Korea. Date your students, your co=workers and your boss. I have done it and I'm still here. If it wasn't for the fringe benifits, I would've been gone long ago.
I know of one guy who was fooling around on his girlfriend with some of his students, and she reported him to immigration and was soon deported because of his unethical character. |
Reported him for illegal teaching, I assume? |
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Josh_Nyc
Joined: 09 Jan 2004
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| Posted: Tue Jan 13, 2004 2:53 pm Post subject: |
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| I don't think it's that bad to have sex with your adult students. Never really had a problem. Just as long as you let them know in the beginning that it's purely for fun...nothing more nothing less. Several other teachers I knew went a bit overboard though...sleeping with several at once. But then again, they simply had no respect for the girls and were obviously in korea for that reason. |
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SuperHero
Joined: 10 Dec 2003
Location: Superhero Hideout
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| Posted: Tue Jan 13, 2004 3:19 pm Post subject: |
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| Scott in HK wrote: |
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| Do it, bonk you students and have a great time, it is something I actively encourage as it is one of the very few perks in this silly EFL circus, just be careful, that's all. |
I actively encouraged anyone who thinks teaching is a circus and whose sole purporse for entering a classroom is to 'bonk' their students to stop...stop entering classrooms...you have no place inside them unless perhaps it is to learn...
I think it is my call...because i am a 'teacher' and go into classrooms to do my best to teach my students...and in doing so...I limit the things that might interfere with my teaching. And I like my profession and would like to see the bonkers and clowns out of it...so when they pipe up and moan on about consenting adults, I like to tell to pipe down and switch professions.
I shudder to think that anyone actually entered teaching for the chance to bonk their students....that someone may enter a classroom with this on their mind...these types should simply be thrown out of the classroom...if you are a 'bonker', you could always hang around outside a school and wait for students to come down....I know it might be a little harder as you are not wearing the mantle of teacher and the number of bonks may decrease but if you keep at it....I am sure you could start another career and still bonk as many students as you want |
I would like to say I 100% agree with Scott in HK. My sentiments exactly. Be professional. |
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riverboy
Joined: 03 Jun 2003
Location: Incheon
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| Posted: Tue Jan 13, 2004 4:38 pm Post subject: HOMER |
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Is getting pissed drunk with your students ethical. We are talking about consenting adults. If you are legal drinking age, then you can drink with students and the ones you drink with get an unfair adantage. I used to hang around with professors after class and talk and get insight about our subjects. It was informal but I got an advantage out of it that other, less "friendly" students did not.
As I see it, two consenting adults who are honest with one another can do thier own thing.
And for the record, I have never dated a student. |
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Butterfly
Joined: 02 Mar 2003
Location: Kuwait
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| Posted: Tue Jan 13, 2004 5:50 pm Post subject: |
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| Scott in HK wrote: |
| Quote: |
| Do it, bonk you students and have a great time, it is something I actively encourage as it is one of the very few perks in this silly EFL circus, just be careful, that's all. |
I actively encouraged anyone who thinks teaching is a circus and whose sole purporse for entering a classroom is to 'bonk' their students to stop...stop entering classrooms...you have no place inside them unless perhaps it is to learn...
I think it is my call...because i am a 'teacher' and go into classrooms to do my best to teach my students...and in doing so...I limit the things that might interfere with my teaching. And I like my profession and would like to see the bonkers and clowns out of it...so when they pipe up and moan on about consenting adults, I like to tell to pipe down and switch professions.
I shudder to think that anyone actually entered teaching for the chance to bonk their students....that someone may enter a classroom with this on their mind...these types should simply be thrown out of the classroom...if you are a 'bonker', you could always hang around outside a school and wait for students to come down....I know it might be a little harder as you are not wearing the mantle of teacher and the number of bonks may decrease but if you keep at it....I am sure you could start another career and still bonk as many students as you want |
I don't see why you are getting so sanctimonious about it, you've done it. Bonking isn't the point of my teaching, I have a TEFL Diploma, nearly ten years' experience and I'm very good at it (teaching), I just see meeting lots of beautiful women as being one of the few perks in this game. Now and then I meet one who would like to have an experience with me, and how, and why the hell, should I say no?
Back in UK, I had a job in for a brief period an academy in London that had a really anal and jealous owner, wouldn't let teachers socialize with students unless under his supervision and anyone seen around with opposite sex students would be fired. Not surprisingly the tw*at had a lot of difficulty maintaining staff, because the chance to meet, mix with, and date lots of interesting foreigners is the reason lots of people get into TEFL. Christ, that director was so naive to think people would endure his pittance wages, if they weren't allowed to enjoy the perks of TEFL. Uncomplicated, short-term romances being a big one of them.
Dating your fully grown, late twenties big titty business english students isn't unethical, it's stupid not to if they fancy a bit. And they commonly do. |
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Scott in HK
Joined: 15 Jan 2003
Location: now in Incheon..haven't changed my name yet
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| Posted: Tue Jan 13, 2004 8:13 pm Post subject: |
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Butterfly wrote....
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| I don't see why you are getting so sanctimonious about it, you've done it. |
No, I haven't. I dated an ex-student. She expressed her feelings after the course had ended as our school also had a policy about teacher and student fraternization. Not an anal policy, but one designed to limit the possiblility of student complaints and/or lawsuits because of teacher behaviour. If she had expressed them during the course...I would have explained the policy to her and asked her to wait until after she finished the course. If we were both struck down by our love...then I would have either quit or acted unprofessionally. At least I would be able to admit that what I did was unprofessional.
You might be a very good teacher...although since it seems the first thing you do is survey your class to look for bonkable students...it might be that you are not quite as good as you think you are. It has been said on this forum many of time that qualifications and experience don't make someone a teacher...they helped but in the end you have to think of yourself as a teacher and act in a professional manner. When you bonk students...look for short term flings...you are not acting professional.
I am not saying that people who bonk students are completely and utterly unprofessional...but that act of bonking and having flings with students is unprofessional...I am sure that in the classes devoid of bonkable students...you might be completely professional and maybe even a good teacher.
You actively search out students to bonk and more than likely your position as a teacher makes it easier for you to bonk them...therefore in such cases you are acting unprofessional. You are putting your institution at risk and your classroom atmosphere at risk.
You should just come clean and admit that what you are doing is unprofessional but that you just don't care. Your short term little joys are more important to you than the possible risks. |
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Scott in HK
Joined: 15 Jan 2003
Location: now in Incheon..haven't changed my name yet
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| Posted: Tue Jan 13, 2004 8:16 pm Post subject: |
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Just on a side note....the post you wrote Butterfly is not the same one as the one I read this morning which called me anal....
Did you completely delete the last one and write this new one?? Why? |
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Butterfly
Joined: 02 Mar 2003
Location: Kuwait
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| Posted: Tue Jan 13, 2004 9:24 pm Post subject: |
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| Scott in HK wrote: |
Just on a side note....the post you wrote Butterfly is not the same one as the one I read this morning which called me anal....
Did you completely delete the last one and write this new one?? Why? |
I was a bit hungover and bad tempered this morning but feel better now, I altered it as I felt it was a bit rude to call you anal and then just carried on. Sorry about calling you anal, that wasn't vey nice. Partly my fault and partly Johnny Walker's. I thought I'd gotten away with it anyway, but obviously I hadn't .
It is unprofessional to bonk your students, and I don't give a toss, because I've never worked for an institution that paid me a big enough share of the revenue I generate to care. I take it as a perk in lieu of unpaid wages. Screw them man.
I care about my students, really, and treat them all equally, just now and then a student gives you the eye, and is deliberately slow to leave the classroom. If she's a big grown up girl and wants a mature relationship, then there is no problem. Nothing is compromised. And don't tell me, even as a married man, that having an attractive woman in your class doesn't give your teaching a little twinkle . |
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Butterfly
Joined: 02 Mar 2003
Location: Kuwait
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| Posted: Tue Jan 13, 2004 9:31 pm Post subject: |
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AND, right, don't tell me Scott that you and your wife didn't hold a little candle for each other when she was in your class. She surely wouldn't have made her feelings known to you had you not given her that vibe.
I'm currently dating a woman who was in my class about six months ago, I kept in touch with her on the pretence of promising to help her submit an application to a foreign company, which I did, but we both knew what was up. We too looked at each other a split second longer than usual, and spoke to each other with a slight smile and a twinkle in our eyes. You can't help it mate, it's human. |
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