Korean Job Discussion Forums

[sarbonn]

I answered my door this morning, and two women were there to talk to me about what I thought was some apartment issue. First, it sounded like one of them needed to inspect something in my apartment. It wasn't quite clear, and then after a bit of broken conversation, I discovered that they were there to discuss their religion.

Now, in the states, I tended to usually just politely close my door to religious door to door people, but something about these two attractive women intrigued me (it could be that they were both attractive, but I digress). Anyway, so as I listened to their conversation, in very broken English, they were somehow telling me that they represented a Christian religion that worshipped the God Mother. Okay, I was kind of intrigued here. I'd heard of Mary worshippers, but this didn't sound that way. They went on and on in broken English about certain passages from the Bible, and after awhile I caught on. Every time the Bible mentioned a female pronoun, THAT was an indication of the "secret" God Mother the Bible was REALLY talking about.

Then they read from huge sections of Revelations, and it was there that I realized I'd heard all of this before. They were practically quoting entire doctrines of St. Augustine in The City of God. Sprinkle in a little Thomas Aquinas, and you had their entire argument, sans the God Mother part. So, I mentioned this, and of course, they'd never heard of Augustine or The City of God. So they continued on and on. So I decided I'd tell them all about these two important historical figures and their contributions to the Christian Church.

It ended up being one of the most bizarre conversations I've had that only seemed to be interrupted with their immediate need to "bring me" to their church, located somewhere in Korea. Well, I had to work today, so that wasn't going to happen, but they kept bringing out more and more pieces of broken scripture that they had to read to me, none of it making any more sense than the last bit they read. It was then when I actually read through their book (in Korean and both English) that it had to be translated by someone who had as much knowledge of Korean as I did, because the English part of it read something like "And so He-ith that taken in the chosen chalice of imbibement to the Monkey God of Happiness, makest the tree grown in the desert of Hebrewness."

Well, I had to head off to work, but I have a feeling they're going to show up again.

[Rusty Shackleford]

There's a Jehovahs guy that visits me every couple of weeks. I don't really mind because he's a pleasant enough chap. Infuriatingly un-curious about anything non-jeho, though.

Best part is, he often brings around the young female disciples.

[aphase]

is that the cult that worships the ajumma?

[Fredbob]

My wife made the mistake of answering one of these types of people's surveys, me with a general split or nocturnal schedule, now, AT LEAST once a day there's a knock on the door, I've tried every tactic, but they send a new person or two each time, I've even intentionally gotten out of the shower and answered in a not so big towel, think that might have backfired. NEXT PLAN, gonna blast a porno at full volume, I need to find a loud scene that incorporates the words God and or Jesus a few million times.- OK, I might not do that, just a bit grumpy having stayed up all night to watch the Eagles game, just to get woken up at 11, fell asleep with the TV on, they had to have heard me turn off the sound and I never answered for the eternal 2 minutes during which they kept knocking on the door.

[MissT]

[michaelambling]

[Bibbitybop]

I answer the door shirtless. It makes them super uncomfortable. I've even had some jehovah's witnesses hide behind the door so they couldn't see the foreigner's pink nipples.

[blaseblasphemener]

Two women show up at my door? There's only one thing to do; invite them in and pursue every man's fantasy.

[Ed Provencher]

I've experienced a few of these kinds of encounters with true believers. Can anyone here translate the bumper sticker "A man needs Jesus like a fish needs a bicycle" into Korean? I'd like to have that one ready for the next witness.

[Guri Guy]

[RACETRAITOR]

[RACETRAITOR]

[jdog2050]

[RACETRAITOR]

[merkurix]