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michaelambling
Joined: 31 Dec 2008
Location: Paradise
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 Posted: Wed Mar 04, 2009 1:06 am Post subject: Just say no, people, it's not hard. |
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I have read quite a few posts saying something like "how do I get out of doing something I've been asked to do?", like "how do I decline eating kimchi?"
It's pretty easy: you just say no.
"No thanks, I don't like it."
"No thanks, I'm busy."
"I'm sorry, I have other plans."
Whenever anyone asks me to do something I don't want to do, this is what I say. If I'm not contractually obligated to do something and I don't want to do it, I don't.
How is this hard for the rest of you? |
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BS.Dos.
Joined: 29 Mar 2007
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| Posted: Wed Mar 04, 2009 1:10 am Post subject: |
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Ever thought of pursuing a career in the diplomatic service?
I think you have what it takes. |
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michaelambling
Joined: 31 Dec 2008
Location: Paradise
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| Posted: Wed Mar 04, 2009 2:31 am Post subject: |
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| BS.Dos. wrote: |
Ever thought of pursuing a career in the diplomatic service?
I think you have what it takes. |
I can't tell if that's sarcasm or not. |
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cmr
Joined: 22 Mar 2006
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| Posted: Wed Mar 04, 2009 3:36 am Post subject: Re: Just say no, people, it's not hard. |
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| michaelambling wrote: |
| How is this hard for the rest of you? |
I'm glad to read this from you... read my reply in your post about being disrespected!  |
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poet13
Joined: 22 Jan 2006
Location: Just over there....throwing lemons.
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| Posted: Wed Mar 04, 2009 3:43 am Post subject: |
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It's true though. A lot of people here absolutely hate that they "HAVE " to go to this school function or that....but they don't know how to say no.
Yes, it's good to go to some things, show the team spirit, wave the school flag and all that, but if you simply don't want to go, you need to know how to say no. When I'm offered Duk (or whatever that foul rice pastey stuff is), I simply say, "No thank you, I don't enjoy it." I have learned that only saying, "No thank you" elicits a passle of questions like, "Oh, do you have a stomach ache?" or, "But it's made from rice" or, "Have some for later" or, or, or....
Speaking plainly but politey is not wrong. |
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michaelambling
Joined: 31 Dec 2008
Location: Paradise
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| Posted: Wed Mar 04, 2009 3:55 am Post subject: |
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| poet13 wrote: |
It's true though. A lot of people here absolutely hate that they "HAVE " to go to this school function or that....but they don't know how to say no.
Yes, it's good to go to some things, show the team spirit, wave the school flag and all that, but if you simply don't want to go, you need to know how to say no. When I'm offered Duk (or whatever that foul rice pastey stuff is), I simply say, "No thank you, I don't enjoy it." I have learned that only saying, "No thank you" elicits a passle of questions like, "Oh, do you have a stomach ache?" or, "But it's made from rice" or, "Have some for later" or, or, or....
Speaking plainly but politey is not wrong. |
Thank you. Last night I went to a dinner and was offered soju--I said "no thanks". When they asked why, I said, "it's too strong for me", and they didn't try any more. I haven't met any pushy Koreans, yet--they've all been very polite. |
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Jeff's Cigarettes
Joined: 27 Mar 2007
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| Posted: Wed Mar 04, 2009 3:57 am Post subject: |
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| My school times most of it's dinners on nights that There is no school the next day. That way they can be sure I'll come as the men teachers always look forward to perhaps being the ONE that can finally successfully out-drink me....but, I always win there. So...they can hope. |
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DaeguKid
Joined: 09 Dec 2006
Location: Daegu
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| Posted: Wed Mar 04, 2009 4:35 am Post subject: |
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Real team player eh!? Come on buddy, lots of folks everyday in this world do things at work that they don't want to do...but they do them! Why? Cause for the most part it is not difficult, it helps the cause and it makes harmony in the work place.
You posted earlier about being disrespected...well to quote a one Tony Saprano to a young Christopher Soprano "You want respect, you got to give respect!" In other words, here you are at work saying no to Koreans, who do as they are told, and in reply you want to be called Doctor. Look within before you go on about others around.
My advice...if it is not completely overbearing, just do it. It is your job, life goes on and it is appreciated. Leave your contract at home and save your whinging. Do you know how whacked one looks to the locals when they say "it is not in my contract!" You're talking to someone who works quite a few more hours than you, has way less vacation and surely a lower pay....And you wonder why they think Westerners are lazy in Korea! 
Just my two ship-wons worth...(i guess it would be 3 with the cost of a dollar and all these days!)
DK |
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RyanInKorea
Joined: 17 Jan 2008
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| Posted: Wed Mar 04, 2009 4:42 am Post subject: |
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| michaelambling wrote: |
| Last night I went to a dinner and was offered soju--I said "no thanks". When they asked why, I said, "it's too strong for me" |
And you wonder why they don't call you professor.
Ryan |
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Underwaterbob
Joined: 08 Jan 2005
Location: In Cognito
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| Posted: Wed Mar 04, 2009 4:42 am Post subject: |
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| DaeguKid wrote: |
| You're talking to someone who works quite a few more hours than you, has way less vacation and surely a lower pay.... |
Actually, according to the other thread Korean professors work an average of 7 hours a week while immigrant profs work "at least 12". I'm not entirely sure about the legitimacy of the statistics considering the "average" versus "at least" comparison. |
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poet13
Joined: 22 Jan 2006
Location: Just over there....throwing lemons.
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| Posted: Wed Mar 04, 2009 4:49 am Post subject: |
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"Real team player eh!? Come on buddy, lots of folks everyday in this world do things at work that they don't want to do...but they do them!"
Not sure who you're addressing, but for my own part.... those teacher things...a few of the social/cultural norms disgust me. Everybody digging their eating utensils into the same pot, swapping spit offering each other soju shots. Feck me. I think I've gotten sick after almost every one. And especially considering I have a baby at home...I can't afford to take anything away from the event. I'm an intensely private person, but for the sake of diplomacy I do participate in many work activities. I show up for a dinner, nurse a soda, pick on a side dish, etc.
I don't think the OP is talking about the lack of diplomacy that comes with NEVER participating. I think he or she is talking about how to say no when the time comes that they simply do not want to be there. |
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ryoga013
Joined: 23 Nov 2008
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| Posted: Wed Mar 04, 2009 4:55 am Post subject: Re: Just say no, people, it's not hard. |
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| michaelambling wrote: |
I have read quite a few posts saying something like "how do I get out of doing something I've been asked to do?", like "how do I decline eating kimchi?"
It's pretty easy: you just say no. |
NO MAN! NO MAN! NO MAN! NO MAN! NO MAN! NO MAN! NO MAN! NO MAN!
I chose the wrong time to become a yes man.... |
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michaelambling
Joined: 31 Dec 2008
Location: Paradise
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| Posted: Wed Mar 04, 2009 5:02 am Post subject: |
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| DaeguKid wrote: |
Real team player eh!? Come on buddy, lots of folks everyday in this world do things at work that they don't want to do...but they do them! Why? Cause for the most part it is not difficult, it helps the cause and it makes harmony in the work place.
You posted earlier about being disrespected...well to quote a one Tony Saprano to a young Christopher Soprano "You want respect, you got to give respect!" In other words, here you are at work saying no to Koreans, who do as they are told, and in reply you want to be called Doctor. Look within before you go on about others around.
My advice...if it is not completely overbearing, just do it. It is your job, life goes on and it is appreciated. Leave your contract at home and save your whinging. Do you know how whacked one looks to the locals when they say "it is not in my contract!" You're talking to someone who works quite a few more hours than you, has way less vacation and surely a lower pay....And you wonder why they think Westerners are lazy in Korea!
Just my two ship-wons worth...(i guess it would be 3 with the cost of a dollar and all these days!)
DK |
Learn to read. I do NOT want to be called doctor, and I really could care less whether they respect me or not.
My job is to teach as many hours that are in my contract. My job isn't to drink soju, kiss ass, or do anything in my free time. Nor is it yours.
The professors here teach less than me, have better offices, more clout, and, if Real Reality is to be believed, get paid more than me. |
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tigercat
Joined: 10 Oct 2008
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| Posted: Wed Mar 04, 2009 5:04 am Post subject: |
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| NO MEANS NO! |
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D.D.
Joined: 29 May 2008
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| Posted: Wed Mar 04, 2009 5:10 am Post subject: |
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A gentle no is a good thing to learn. Most people spend their life doing things they don't really want to do and then bitch about it.
Being fake will get you liked, but is it you that they like or the false front you present.
I might appear rude at times but I am real and my life has lot's of spare time because I am not running around pleasing others. |
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