Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Yu_Bum_suk]

http://www.aacap.org/cs/root/publication_store/your_adolescent_oppositional_defiant_disorder

I'm always hesitant to rush towards trying to identify and diagnose 'disorders' in specific kids, but this article does provide a lot of good background explanation about certain behavioural trends, even if it's very much lacking in practical suggestions.

I think that especially useful to consider from our perspective is:

[ChinaBoy]

These people have obviously no clue how to deal with kids. They would be laughed at.

[Yu_Bum_suk]

[Scotticus]

[D.D.]

They result from bad home situations with busy and selfish parents that don't spend time with their children.

I don't like calling them disorders because soon enough the medic will follow with the happy pills claiming them to be chemical conditions.

If daddy got off the soju, late nights and took the kids fishing or to a ball game the kids wouldn't be so starved for attention.

[Goku]

I think it's coupled with both genetics and parenting.

I think a child can be born with an inclination to rebel. You see it in young children... very young. Some kids are just more stubborn than others. My family has naturally, calm , sedimentary people. But have a toddler cousin far removed that basically says no to everything. If you have been around babies enough, you've probably seen that even at really young ages, genetics plays a huge factor on energy levels and behavior.

Parental reaction to their behavior will determine if children continue this behavior.

Children who question the rules or disobey authority do not fear consequence. Or somehow think in their mind they have the right, power, or authority to do such. A good amount of confidence is healthy in developing children, but when it becomes control obsession it is dangerous.

One could imagine how a child could grow up psychologically defiant.

Let's say a parent makes a rule for their child, You must eat all your food at the table. But the child asks why and the parent doesn't give him a good reason. And they nag it on the child. However, they don't punish the child, or if they do, it is incosistent or unfair. Children don't attribute an immediate fair consequence for not following the rules, the child won't become fearful of authority.

[poet13]

"My family has naturally, calm , sedimentary people."

As opposed to...igneous or metamorphic people?
I think you meant sedentary.

My first son fits a lot of the descriptions provided. Not good.

[Sector7G]

[Auslegung]

As for labeling people with diseases and sicknesses, I am totally against it in any instance. It has nothing to do with PC, I don't care about that, it's about the health of the unit. Murray Bowen, and to a lesser extent Edwin Friedman, have done great studies that have led them and others to believe that a child's acting out is symptomatic of a deeper problem in the family. By labeling the child we are further focusing the attention on the child, rather than the problem at hand. This is clearly seen in chapters 1-6 of Family Therapy in Clinical Practice by Murray Bowen, wherein he presents, in six different papers, a research study done in the late 50s on the treatment of family groups with a schizophrenic member.

All that to say, from my (admittedly limited) experience in Korea, the children are better behaved than in America. That is possible for a number of reasons, not least of which is a strong sense of culture, ethnicity, and belonging, but I think the labeling has a lot to do with it, too. Asians tend to avoid labels while Americans flock too them like moths to flame. Asian families have nearly as many (perhaps as many) problems as American families, but there is less of a discipline issue with children here. Any other thoughts?

[thegadfly]

...so, according to the symptoms you listed, 99.876% of teenagers have ODD?

I mean, teenagers display those "symptoms" pretty much constantly...so to do so "more than is normal" for their peer group would require the invention of time travel, or worm-holes, or multi-dimensional emo parties or something....

In 17 years of teaching, I have only met ONE kid that I would agree was truly ADHD or ADD...have had hundreds with that label though. The labels didn't help any of the hundreds, and the one that DID have it would have loved to have skipped the label and just taken his lumps for letting his mind wander.

I am all for teachers learning something about psychology and human development, so maybe reading up on this might give people some ideas on how to deal with the problems -- but I would HATE there to be another "disease" to blame for those problems I like to call "life."

Depressed, angry, spiteful, argumentative, easily annoyed, touchy? Yeah, I call that Tuesday morning.

[Yu_Bum_suk]

[Auslegung]

[rollo]

I am sceptical of this. My daughter who was a very calm well behaved child. i think this was due to genetics and the fact that my wife and I had a very good relationship and never quarreled and the house was very quiet. We both hated t.v. so we never turned it on. My daughter began primary school and after a month or so we were called to the priciples office for a meeting. the school psychologist and her teacher suggested that she showed signs of ADD. I listened, I had never seen any behavior in this child that matched what they were describing. I was very sceptical, and fortunately so was the principle. So she was moved to a different class. Voila the new teacher reported that she was a very well behaved child and showed no signs of any problems. A new environment corrected the problems. Some studies have shown things like a noisy home, turmoil in the home even just parents who work too much or bring work home can create problems. Also a Canadian study showed that young female teachers were quicker to call Add in boys than girls, possibly because they are not used to the natural rowdiness of young boys. I call b.s. on this oppositional Defiance disorder.

[Yu_Bum_suk]