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Korean Job Discussion Forums "The Internet's Meeting Place for ESL/EFL Teachers from Around the World!"
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Panda

Joined: 25 Oct 2008
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Posted: Sun Apr 26, 2009 5:42 am Post subject: Is your wife becoming an Ajumma? |
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I was honored to be invited to a house party hosted by an expat the other day. The host was nice , charming and much older than me, not unexpectedly, most of his guests were mid-aged expats who were married to Korean women.
I really liked the food, the house, the music, and people seemed to be so sweet to me too, anyway, long story short, since guys were not interested in chatting me for some obvious reasons(not because I looked horrible, actually I was quite pretty that night ) , I had to chip in their wives's group, which seems to be very natural in Korea, I mean women getting together chatting, regardless if they are intersted in each other or not.
The wives are in their mid or late 30s, all dressed nicely, some are quite good looking, some are housewives, the others are professional, they were very friendly to me, maybe because of my cute dimple on my right cheek, anyway some of them seemed to be aquantances for long, then they started to make fun of each other, which ended up with some dirty jokes...I am quite a dirty girl, but my time of joking about my husband/boyfriend's sexual ability has not come yet.....hence I regard myself not a member in that group.....
Finally they realized I was a little bit embarrassed so they told me they were already Ajummas, after that they all burst into a good laughter.
I knew lots of guys here have Korean wives, are you concerned that your wives are becomming Ajummas? When I see the pretty young Korean girls and the equally shocking ajummas in the street, I always wonder why they are so different, and after the house party, the answer seems to be a little bit clearer----
No, all pretty Korean girls are becoming ajummas gradually, you think you picked an unique Korean girl? Hell no~! Your wife is becoming an ajumma~! |
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justaguy
Joined: 01 Jan 2008 Location: seoul
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Posted: Sun Apr 26, 2009 7:35 am Post subject: |
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Korean women who are married to foreign men are not typical ajummas. The typical ajumma would have married a Korean.
The women you spoke to may consider themselves ordinary ajummas. Ordinary perhaps among that particular group at the party, but not typical of mainstream Korea. Their choice of husband eliminates them from the category I believe you are referring to. |
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Xuanzang

Joined: 10 Apr 2007 Location: Sadang
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Posted: Sun Apr 26, 2009 7:52 am Post subject: |
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Better ajumma than WAGs. |
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blaseblasphemener
Joined: 01 Jun 2006 Location: There's a voice, keeps on calling me, down the road, that's where I'll always be
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Posted: Sun Apr 26, 2009 8:03 am Post subject: |
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I don't get the point of your story.
my wife is "becoming" an ajumma because she talks about sex?
huh? |
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bobbybigfoot
Joined: 05 May 2007 Location: Seoul
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Posted: Sun Apr 26, 2009 8:29 am Post subject: |
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You seem to be a fan of run-on sentences. I hope you don't teach grammar. |
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Panda

Joined: 25 Oct 2008
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Posted: Sun Apr 26, 2009 8:42 am Post subject: |
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blaseblasphemener wrote: |
I don't get the point of your story.
my wife is "becoming" an ajumma because she talks about sex?
huh? |
Yes, your wife was making fun of your stigma... and her friend then added that she had to prove it true or not by testing YOU herself.
I always have very conflict opinions to Ajummas, I personally dont dislike them at all, but on the other hand, its the phenomenon that in Korea all people want to stay normal but not out of the circle awed me, Ajumma is a symbol that Korean people desire to become homogeneous, if I were a member in that group that night, I had to enjoy and even contribute to their dirty jokes, if I didnt, I wouldnt get my popularity and recogonized as one of them.
Your wives are also normal Korean people, their social life might influence them better than you do, in order to stay in harmony, they have to compromise their own taste and value to the majority.
Talking dirty is not anything serious, but thinking of she would also get from others lots of BS you expats are complaining all the time about, arent you conserned? |
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tzechuk

Joined: 20 Dec 2004
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Posted: Sun Apr 26, 2009 8:45 am Post subject: |
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Xuanzang wrote: |
Better ajumma than WAGs. |
Qu'est-ce que c'est? |
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Waluigi

Joined: 09 Apr 2009
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Posted: Sun Apr 26, 2009 12:14 pm Post subject: |
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can somebody explain wtf an ajumma is please? |
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Joe666
Joined: 19 Nov 2008 Location: Jesus it's hot down here!
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Posted: Sun Apr 26, 2009 12:20 pm Post subject: |
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Panda writes :
Yes, your wife was making fun of your stigma... and her friend then added that she had to prove it true or not by testing YOU herself.
I am just curious as to what stigma that is? K wife tests the caucasian husband herself? |
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Forward Observer

Joined: 13 Jan 2009 Location: FOB Gloria
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Korussian
Joined: 15 Sep 2007
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Posted: Sun Apr 26, 2009 4:36 pm Post subject: |
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Waluigi wrote: |
can somebody explain wtf an ajumma is please? |
Although technically "Ajumma" = any married woman, it's more often used to describe the set-in-their-ways older-ish generation. This can mean the cackling women who get together to elbow you out of doorways, or even the younger, cougarish sort whose primary claim to Ajumma-ness is their unwavering commitment to dressing, thinking, and behaving as similarly as possible to the other Ajumma they know.
As a very rough generalization, older Ajumma wear a lot of purple and have perms, younger Ajumma wear a lot of black and leather. The more permed an Ajumma's hair, the more other Ajumma characteristics she is likely to display.
An Ajumma's primary, and often only focus is the well-being of her children & household. This infinite myopia often results, for example, in your physcial body not existing on sidewalks, from the Ajumma's persepective. This is not a snub, but a reality - you are not in her circle-of-care, and therefore you exist neither as a mental event nor as a physical one. You just aren't there.
That said, if you are somehow lucky enough to make friends with an Ajumma, you will find that life becomes eerily easy when you are in her presence. You will travel through the city at lightning-speed, whether through throngs of pedestrians or throngs of motorists. Do wear your seat belt, of course. You will also find that your worries about your insufficient sock reserves will evaporate on the first Chuseok or Solnal you spend in an Ajumma's company. If there are several Ajumma present, then your kerchief reserves will also be replenished.
I hope this helps you to better understand the Ajumma, Korea's answer to Captain America.
***
Note 1: Discussing "dirty" topics with other ladies does not increase one's Ajumma score.
Note 2: Comparing yourself, your husband, and your home to those of other ladies geometrically increases your Ajumma score.
Note 3: For newbie reference, the plural for "Ajumma" is "Ajumma". E.g: "Those three Ajumma simultaneously rammed their shopping carts into me and my child". |
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anjinsan
Joined: 26 Feb 2008
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Posted: Sun Apr 26, 2009 4:54 pm Post subject: |
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The OP must also understand that women in the age group she described (mid-late 30's) have experienced a very different Korean style of living than the young uni girls and 20 somethings. My wife (mid-thirties)
grew up in very tough times in Korea; she did not sit in coffee shops all day drinkning 5000 won beverages; she could not hang out at COEX or at the department stores; she could not go to the ski resorts; she could not meet friends all day and eat at restaurants. She worked her ass off
and paid her own way. This is very very very different from the little girls in high heels you see running arund the city today.
Call this toughness "adjumma" if you want; I don't give a f__k. Any person--man or woman--who worked their ass off and survived and thrived through tough times has my respect.
I also agree with the other poster totally:
Better an adjumma than a WAG.
When Western women (especially Americans) get older, they get fat
and more bitchy;
Korean women get tougher, more direct, and a hell of a lot more fun. |
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NightSky
Joined: 19 Apr 2005
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Posted: Sun Apr 26, 2009 5:05 pm Post subject: |
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to add a few things to the definition of ajuma:
-often have no personal interests or interests outside the home or their own offspring;
-obsessed with fitness;
-have no sense of personal style, imagination, or creativity;
-pay lip service to the idea of multiculturalism but really have no deeper interest in it than their husbands do
-far too concerned with what the neighbors think/keeping up with the Parks
-have a love of all things cute but no concept of true art or beauty; fond of things we consider tacky or kitsch;
all that said, I don't think any korean women who married a western guy is too likely to fit those definitions. they are likely just having a go calling themselves ajumas, they aren't true ajumas, just ajumas in the sense that they are married women. so what if they like to talk about sex? better than talking about their runny-nosed spawn's nonexistent English ability, right? |
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RyanInKorea
Joined: 17 Jan 2008
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Posted: Sun Apr 26, 2009 5:14 pm Post subject: |
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Though the terms ajumma and ajeoshi are defined by age/marriage/etc, there is also a large mentality aspect to it.
I would hope that being married to a foreigner ensures that the mentality isn't cultivated. It's not like I will start acting like the standard ajeoshi should I marry a Korean.
Ajeoshi is a Mentality,
Ryan
P.S. Someone should put that on a shirt. |
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cdninkorea

Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Location: Seoul
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Posted: Sun Apr 26, 2009 5:37 pm Post subject: |
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Every now and again I see a gorgeous young Korean girl (early-mid 20s) with her mother, and I always wonder: will she turn into her mother? (I also look at my father and wonder if I'll turn into him; I hope not!) |
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