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poeticjustice
Joined: 28 Feb 2009
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 Posted: Wed May 27, 2009 6:29 am Post subject: |
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As strange as it sounds, I feel like I blend in now. I've been here a few years ago and I don't notice the stares anymore nor do I invite them (by looking like a lost puppy). Other than the odd encounter with rotten ajosshi (recent post), I usually don't have any problems.
I sense a lot of bad vibes at work with my co-workers, but I've learned to tune it out. |
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Oreovictim
Joined: 23 Aug 2006
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| Posted: Wed May 27, 2009 7:01 am Post subject: |
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| Otherside wrote: |
Hey Doug,
Regarding your experience about "teaching" at the University. I know of a guy (knew him personally, in Suwon) who worked at a PS, after work and on weekends he'd go to the local University and hit on chicks. Blatantly! It got to the point where the University complained and he was banned from going to the University.
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You've GOT to be kidding me. I bet this poor guy wasn't even being a pervert. He probably just asked for their phone numbers or to join him for a drink or something. I wonder if the women complained or if some insecure Korean guys saw him talking to K-women, and so they complained? |
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SeminoleDoug
Joined: 21 Apr 2009
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| Posted: Wed May 27, 2009 7:08 am Post subject: Reply |
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| Oreovictim wrote: |
| Otherside wrote: |
Hey Doug,
Regarding your experience about "teaching" at the University. I know of a guy (knew him personally, in Suwon) who worked at a PS, after work and on weekends he'd go to the local University and hit on chicks. Blatantly! It got to the point where the University complained and he was banned from going to the University.
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You've GOT to be kidding me. I bet this poor guy wasn't even being a pervert. He probably just asked for their phone numbers or to join him for a drink or something. I wonder if the women complained or if some insecure Korean guys saw him talking to K-women, and so they complained? |
I think both are possibilities. I have seen some pretty rough neck, horny ass guys walking around Korea...who try and hit on EVERY single girl that walks by without a guy with her. |
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Otherside
Joined: 06 Sep 2007
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| Posted: Wed May 27, 2009 4:30 pm Post subject: |
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| Oreovictim wrote: |
| Otherside wrote: |
Hey Doug,
Regarding your experience about "teaching" at the University. I know of a guy (knew him personally, in Suwon) who worked at a PS, after work and on weekends he'd go to the local University and hit on chicks. Blatantly! It got to the point where the University complained and he was banned from going to the University.
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You've GOT to be kidding me. I bet this poor guy wasn't even being a pervert. He probably just asked for their phone numbers or to join him for a drink or something. I wonder if the women complained or if some insecure Korean guys saw him talking to K-women, and so they complained? |
I didn't post the exact details, as I only heard them second-hand. However, the guy was hitting the Uni a couple of times a week. He'd find a group of people and then try isolate one of the girls and pretty much ask her to go out with him. Now, this happening a couple of times over a period of time is understandable (as it has probably been embellished), however, this guy was hitting that campus 4-5 times a week for a period of a couple of months, and the University had recieved numerous complaints which they passed on to his school. His school asked him not to go back to the campus, which he ignored, and eventually he was banned. I.e. this was not a case of a guy meeting some girls at a University, and going back there to meet the same girls, over and over...it's a guy going there many times a month to hit on different girls (unwelcomed) and repeatedly ignoring complaints.
It probably didn't help his cause when he was caught cheating on his girlfriend. (another story) basically, he was dating a girl and hadn't been in contact with her for a few days. After not being able to find him for a few days, she shows up at his school in the morning to see if he's OK. He was late that day, so his gf spoke to his co-teacher (who'd been recieving the complaints from the University) and needless to say all hell broke loose.
Oh and he was on a final written warning from his school for tardiness. |
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SeminoleDoug
Joined: 21 Apr 2009
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| Posted: Wed May 27, 2009 4:42 pm Post subject: Reply |
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| Otherside wrote: |
| Oreovictim wrote: |
| Otherside wrote: |
Hey Doug,
Regarding your experience about "teaching" at the University. I know of a guy (knew him personally, in Suwon) who worked at a PS, after work and on weekends he'd go to the local University and hit on chicks. Blatantly! It got to the point where the University complained and he was banned from going to the University.
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You've GOT to be kidding me. I bet this poor guy wasn't even being a pervert. He probably just asked for their phone numbers or to join him for a drink or something. I wonder if the women complained or if some insecure Korean guys saw him talking to K-women, and so they complained? |
I didn't post the exact details, as I only heard them second-hand. However, the guy was hitting the Uni a couple of times a week. He'd find a group of people and then try isolate one of the girls and pretty much ask her to go out with him. Now, this happening a couple of times over a period of time is understandable (as it has probably been embellished), however, this guy was hitting that campus 4-5 times a week for a period of a couple of months, and the University had recieved numerous complaints which they passed on to his school. His school asked him not to go back to the campus, which he ignored, and eventually he was banned. I.e. this was not a case of a guy meeting some girls at a University, and going back there to meet the same girls, over and over...it's a guy going there many times a month to hit on different girls (unwelcomed) and repeatedly ignoring complaints.
It probably didn't help his cause when he was caught cheating on his girlfriend. (another story) basically, he was dating a girl and hadn't been in contact with her for a few days. After not being able to find him for a few days, she shows up at his school in the morning to see if he's OK. He was late that day, so his gf spoke to his co-teacher (who'd been recieving the complaints from the University) and needless to say all hell broke loose.
Oh and he was on a final written warning from his school for tardiness. |
And this is the tough thing for me. I am the first person to arrive at my school every morning. And, since I didn't have the internet in my apartment for the first 3 weeks, I was the last person to leave. They should realize I am not a trouble maker. I don't go up and just talk to random people...because I don't want to bother people. That's the whole point. By holding a conversational English class, I am helping people and am able to find people who want to talk. And by talk, I don't mean hit on. But by not allowing me to do so, they basically force me to resort to obnoxious, sleazy foreign tactics to try and meet people or be lonely.
And I completely agree, to a very small degree, with the people who ask, "Well, what's wrong with hitting on a girl?" Nothing. I would love to date here. But I think common sense should kick in and one should realize that there should be a certain amount of discretion that goes along with that. And to literally go from one girl directly to the next girl, while everyone looks on...what kind of person does that? |
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crossmr
Joined: 22 Nov 2008
Location: Hwayangdong, Seoul
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| Posted: Wed May 27, 2009 4:47 pm Post subject: |
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Wow OP, you just describe the primary elements of Korean culture we waykooks first notice and deal with as long as we do business in Korea. Those of you who find it fun or pleasant sure looked deep into your yourselves during many months or years of lonely times to find and appreciate beauty in the rough.
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No.. apparently some of us just don't seem to attract the extreme negativity that others seem to pull in.
This morning on the bus I was hanging on for dear life as usual when a seat opened up behind me. The old man in the seat in front of me gave me a tap on the arm and a smile and pointed at it. I can honestly say that I've never felt anyone was mean to me because I was a foreigner or shot me dirty looks..except that guy I accidentally cracked in the nuts...
he decided to cut across a crowded subway hallway and as my arm was swinging by my side he turned into it..
he'll probably hate foreigners for life..
I don't feel like I've had to make any special effort to enjoy my time here. |
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Burndog
Joined: 17 Feb 2008
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| Posted: Wed May 27, 2009 4:53 pm Post subject: |
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OP...don't sweat it...it's difficult starting out as a Public School teacher...but Orientation is only a few weeks away, and you'll meet plenty of new people there...some that you might not want to meet...and some that you'll find decent and worthwhile. The staring stopped bothering me after a little while...and the other stuff (the University and the daughter) is par for the course. Don't get hung up on that stuff or you'll end up all bitter and deluded...try and stay positive (and to be fair you seem like a positive guy, caught in a less than positive set of circumstances). Try Now! bar in Yongtong some time...PM me if you want and I'll go there with you on Friday the 5th of June.
Cheers. |
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andrewchon
Joined: 16 Nov 2008
Location: Back in Oz. Living in ISIS Aust.
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| Posted: Wed May 27, 2009 6:51 pm Post subject: lonely at first |
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Very broad generalization but hopefully this will help.
Q: seminoleDoug are you from Florida?
I took a stereo typical guess of you hailing from Florida State U
There is old and new Korea. Old Korea is like this:
Everyone aspires to be 'YangBan' as in 'educated nobility'. Girls become woman when they reach 7 years old. They start practicing the art of being ladies from there on. They are expected to marry by arrangement. They must not be seen by men (boys 7 years or older) outside of the family. When they have to go outside the home they cover their head and must be chafferoned. Things are not that strict now, but the principles remain. Therefore, if this unmarried woman was seen together with a man (foreigner no less) looking totally unabashful then her marriage prospect is ... dicey at best.
New Korea is more outward looking, generally educated by the christian missionaries and have concepts of things llike marrying for love, rank by merit, human rights, sexual revolution, democracy etc. Not easy to find at first because they remain conspicous and are under the thumb of the ruling old order. Hard to make contacts becasue they'll wait for you to talk to them first.
Xenophobia? Is there an institutionalized system of distrusting non-look-alikes? No. Do some people hate Amricans, Japanese or whoever due to the past? Yes.
Suwon is not a cosmopolitan city. Hardly any speak a foreign language. Is everybody staring at you? No. Is there such a thing as 'volunteers' in Korea? No, there maybe forced labour but volunteering and charity is not part of the national psyche.
You're lonely? I think someone said this (can't remember who) "What works in West don't work in East." So, what does that mean? English works in the West, but not in the East; learn the local language for crying out loud. |
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SeminoleDoug
Joined: 21 Apr 2009
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| Posted: Wed May 27, 2009 6:57 pm Post subject: Re: lonely at first |
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| andrewchon wrote: |
Very broad generalization but hopefully this will help.
You're lonely? I think someone said this (can't remember who) "What works in West don't work in East." So, what does that mean? English works in the West, but not in the East; learn the local language for crying out loud. |
I love assumptions. I study over an hour every day and am now trying to learn 10 new words every day. But this isn't the matrix, dude. You can't just upload Korean into your brain and speak fluently immediately. And supposedly everybody always talks about how badly Koreans want to learn English. Not that badly, apparently.
I am doing the best I can. |
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Suwon23
Joined: 24 Jan 2008
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| Posted: Wed May 27, 2009 7:18 pm Post subject: |
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Hi, SeminoleDoug!
I just left Suwon this Spring; I wish I could've introduced you to some people. Since you describe Suwon as not filthier than Jaba the Hutt's outhouse, I can only assume you live in Youngtong-dong, or possibly Maetan-dong. If this is the case, I recommend going to one of the expat bars, like Now Bar or Crazy Duck, but only to get phone numbers. Your mission there is to find people (foreign or local) who will hang out with you and introduce you to their friends. Once you have a half-dozen drinking buddies your circle of friends will expand exponentially, until you can pick and choose friends, and even meet girls (!). I also found that, if your Korean is good enough, you can squeeze your way into groups, like the guys drinking in front of the 7-11, or the students drinking coffee near the station. Just tell them you're new in town and want to learn about the fabulous culture of Korea.
If that fails, look for friends online. There's no shame in kick-starting your social network in a new city.
Also, to the Northeast of you, on the number... 7 line, I think, is Suji. There are lots of foreign-owned businesses there where you can meet people. There's a bus from Youngtong-dong, but I don't remember the number. |
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SeminoleDoug
Joined: 21 Apr 2009
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| Posted: Wed May 27, 2009 7:47 pm Post subject: Reply |
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| Suwon23 wrote: |
Hi, SeminoleDoug!
I just left Suwon this Spring; I wish I could've introduced you to some people. Since you describe Suwon as not filthier than Jaba the Hutt's outhouse, I can only assume you live in Youngtong-dong, or possibly Maetan-dong. If this is the case, I recommend going to one of the expat bars, like Now Bar or Crazy Duck, but only to get phone numbers. Your mission there is to find people (foreign or local) who will hang out with you and introduce you to their friends. Once you have a half-dozen drinking buddies your circle of friends will expand exponentially, until you can pick and choose friends, and even meet girls (!). I also found that, if your Korean is good enough, you can squeeze your way into groups, like the guys drinking in front of the 7-11, or the students drinking coffee near the station. Just tell them you're new in town and want to learn about the fabulous culture of Korea.
If that fails, look for friends online. There's no shame in kick-starting your social network in a new city.
Also, to the Northeast of you, on the number... 7 line, I think, is Suji. There are lots of foreign-owned businesses there where you can meet people. There's a bus from Youngtong-dong, but I don't remember the number. |
I live in Hwaseo-2 dong near Hwaseo Station...one stop from Suwon Station. This is definitely some good advice. I have been looking online, but I don't think that has had enough time yet.
Has anybody been to Boss Club or Club NB? Are these places one could go to meet people or no? Are there people even there?
Where is Crazy Duck or Now Bar? I find it impossible to get directions to places around here since I don't speak Korean.
You have some very, very good advice. Thanks. |
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Suwon23
Joined: 24 Jan 2008
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| Posted: Wed May 27, 2009 8:19 pm Post subject: Re: Reply |
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| SeminoleDoug wrote: |
| Suwon23 wrote: |
Hi, SeminoleDoug!
I just left Suwon this Spring; I wish I could've introduced you to some people. Since you describe Suwon as not filthier than Jaba the Hutt's outhouse, I can only assume you live in Youngtong-dong, or possibly Maetan-dong. If this is the case, I recommend going to one of the expat bars, like Now Bar or Crazy Duck, but only to get phone numbers. Your mission there is to find people (foreign or local) who will hang out with you and introduce you to their friends. Once you have a half-dozen drinking buddies your circle of friends will expand exponentially, until you can pick and choose friends, and even meet girls (!). I also found that, if your Korean is good enough, you can squeeze your way into groups, like the guys drinking in front of the 7-11, or the students drinking coffee near the station. Just tell them you're new in town and want to learn about the fabulous culture of Korea.
If that fails, look for friends online. There's no shame in kick-starting your social network in a new city.
Also, to the Northeast of you, on the number... 7 line, I think, is Suji. There are lots of foreign-owned businesses there where you can meet people. There's a bus from Youngtong-dong, but I don't remember the number. |
I live in Hwaseo-2 dong near Hwaseo Station...one stop from Suwon Station. This is definitely some good advice. I have been looking online, but I don't think that has had enough time yet.
Has anybody been to Boss Club or Club NB? Are these places one could go to meet people or no? Are there people even there?
Where is Crazy Duck or Now Bar? I find it impossible to get directions to places around here since I don't speak Korean.
You have some very, very good advice. Thanks. |
Crazy Duck is in Ingye-dong, across the street from the New Core outlet. Now Bar is in Youngtong-dong, next to the... I don't remember. Directions are easier than you think in Korean. Just get yourself to the right neighborhood, then ask people what it's next to.
I'm more surprised you live in NW Suwon. I know a single young woman who lives near Hwaseo station, cute as a button, speaks passable English, but she's looking to get married, so that's probably a pass. Plus I don't think she likes foreigners romantically. Isn't that part of town a total dive? If you're that close to the station I would recommend you just go to Seoul for your recreational needs. There's always a party to be found in Sinchon. Go to Suwon station, take the express to Seoul station, then the subway or bus to Sinchon. One hour max, and it's like... five dollars. I know a guy who has a party every month in SinCHEON where I could always count on getting at least one phone number. Let me see if I can find his club's website... nope, sorry. But you can find somebody easy. I've found that asking random people to be your friend gets better results in Korea than America, as long as you use common sense. |
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3MB
Joined: 26 Mar 2009
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| Posted: Wed May 27, 2009 8:24 pm Post subject: Re: Reply |
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[quote="SeminoleDoug"]
| 3MB wrote: |
Welcome to Korea.
You can't "volunteer to work" at locations not specified on your ARC. Stop being so paranoid. Go home.[/quote
Thanks for that quality, meaningful response. I have no doubt it was the best you could do. Gotta love Dave's. |
You are making wild accussations without the basic understanding of the situation. The best example is you volunteering to work outside your specified location. A violation of your visa, punishable by a fine and deportation. I pounced on it because it is the clearest example of your ignorance. This ignorance is leading you to see things for what they aren't. The best thing for you to do is to stop being paranoid, read up and get up to speed. |
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SeminoleDoug
Joined: 21 Apr 2009
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| Posted: Wed May 27, 2009 8:24 pm Post subject: Re: Reply |
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| Suwon23 wrote: |
| SeminoleDoug wrote: |
| Suwon23 wrote: |
Hi, SeminoleDoug!
I just left Suwon this Spring; I wish I could've introduced you to some people. Since you describe Suwon as not filthier than Jaba the Hutt's outhouse, I can only assume you live in Youngtong-dong, or possibly Maetan-dong. If this is the case, I recommend going to one of the expat bars, like Now Bar or Crazy Duck, but only to get phone numbers. Your mission there is to find people (foreign or local) who will hang out with you and introduce you to their friends. Once you have a half-dozen drinking buddies your circle of friends will expand exponentially, until you can pick and choose friends, and even meet girls (!). I also found that, if your Korean is good enough, you can squeeze your way into groups, like the guys drinking in front of the 7-11, or the students drinking coffee near the station. Just tell them you're new in town and want to learn about the fabulous culture of Korea.
If that fails, look for friends online. There's no shame in kick-starting your social network in a new city.
Also, to the Northeast of you, on the number... 7 line, I think, is Suji. There are lots of foreign-owned businesses there where you can meet people. There's a bus from Youngtong-dong, but I don't remember the number. |
I live in Hwaseo-2 dong near Hwaseo Station...one stop from Suwon Station. This is definitely some good advice. I have been looking online, but I don't think that has had enough time yet.
Has anybody been to Boss Club or Club NB? Are these places one could go to meet people or no? Are there people even there?
Where is Crazy Duck or Now Bar? I find it impossible to get directions to places around here since I don't speak Korean.
You have some very, very good advice. Thanks. |
Crazy Duck is in Ingye-dong, across the street from the New Core outlet. Now Bar is in Youngtong-dong, next to the... I don't remember. Directions are easier than you think in Korean. Just get yourself to the right neighborhood, then ask people what it's next to.
I'm more surprised you live in NW Suwon. I know a single young woman who lives near Hwaseo station, cute as a button, speaks passable English, but she's looking to get married, so that's probably a pass. Plus I don't think she likes foreigners romantically. Isn't that part of town a total dive? If you're that close to the station I would recommend you just go to Seoul for your recreational needs. There's always a party to be found in Sinchon. Go to Suwon station, take the express to Seoul station, then the subway or bus to Sinchon. One hour max, and it's like... five dollars. I know a guy who has a party every month in SinCHEON where I could always count on getting at least one phone number. Let me see if I can find his club's website... nope, sorry. But you can find somebody easy. I've found that asking random people to be your friend gets better results in Korea than America, as long as you use common sense. |
At this point, almost any friend is better than no friend. I've been trying not to go to Seoul. I don't want that to be a crutch and I also would like to have friends that live near me that I can hang out with during the week. But I may have to give up and go to Seoul. |
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3MB
Joined: 26 Mar 2009
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| Posted: Wed May 27, 2009 8:25 pm Post subject: Re: Reply |
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[quote="SeminoleDoug"]
| 3MB wrote: |
Welcome to Korea.
You can't "volunteer to work" at locations not specified on your ARC. Stop being so paranoid. Go home.[/quote
Thanks for that quality, meaningful response. I have no doubt it was the best you could do. Gotta love Dave's. |
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