Korean Job Discussion Forums

kabrams · Joined: 15 Mar 2008 Location: your Dad's house

I am having a small issue with going out to eat with coworkers/eating in the cafeteria with my coworkers.

I get full here easily, and often times, I have 1/4 to 1/2 of a meal left over. This never happened to me in the US. In the beginning, I tried to relent and eat the entire plate, but now that I've been here for almost two months, I've been slowly eating less and less.

I think my coworkers are getting offended. I assure them that the food is delicious, and that if I could, I would eat more, but I can't keep forcing myself to finish these huge plates of food plus side dishes without making myself sick. I don't eat a big breakfast either, and I think that makes them uncomfortable. They keep saying "We're worried about your health!"

Today they kept asking me to eat and eat and now I am sitting in my office with a cramping stomach. I just want to know if there is a way for them to know that I enjoy the food and I am not sick/starving myself/depressed?

roadwork · Joined: 24 Nov 2008 Location: Goin' up the country

Pa Jan Jo A Hamnida · Joined: 27 Oct 2006 Location: Not Korea

It can be difficult to say no. However, just politely say no. If offense is taken it is without merit.

I'm no Picasso · Joined: 28 Oct 2008

My coworkers have the same issues. I would definitely say it is more than likely pure worry, and not offense that you're seeing. You've probably already figured out how important food is here. Starving people during the war, yadda yadda. They feed you to show that they care. They've also been told for decades that Korean food is essentially offensive to foreigners, so naturally, they worry if you aren't eating as much as they may see as normal.

That having been said, I have absolutely no idea how my coworkers eat as much as they do, and I gave up trying to keep up with them to make them happy ages ago. It's not going to relent. The comments are not going to go away. Best to just eat as you wish, and get used to it. My usual strategy is just to take one bite of whatever it is they've got going and kind of linger around the communal group for a while. Sometimes the "come over here and eat this!" can also just be code for "come join the group -- we don't want to leave you out." I've found they'll be perfectly content just to have you standing in the circle, even if you're not eating.

kabrams · Joined: 15 Mar 2008 Location: your Dad's house

Snake Doctor · Joined: 14 Jul 2009

Tell them you're on a diet.

Young FRANKenstein · Posted: Tue Jul 28, 2009 9:55 pm Post subject:

Tell them you have a small stomach / stomach stapled.

kabrams · Joined: 15 Mar 2008 Location: your Dad's house

kabrams · Joined: 15 Mar 2008 Location: your Dad's house

Snake Doctor · Joined: 14 Jul 2009

greasypeanut · Joined: 28 Apr 2009 Location: songtan

pae appayo

OnTheOtherSide · Joined: 29 Feb 2008

Just say no nicely. Who cares if it offends people. There should be no need to lie about being sick etc.

Food etiquette is so stupid. If a person doesn't want some food just let them not eat it and move on.

Ruthdes · Joined: 16 Oct 2008 Location: Seoul

The diet idea is a good one. Or, you could tell them you used to be overweight and you don't ever want to be again, so you have to watch what you eat. Or, if it's mainly one group of people doing it, take one aside and tell her (preferably a woman), that you're on a diet or maintaining weight loss or whatever. Tell her it makes you really uncomfortable to keep declining food and see if she can have a word to the others to stop it. This will lessen the rudeness compared to if it comes directly from you to everyone.

Failing that, this is just one of those things about Korea. "It's delicious, but I'm full"..repeat..repeat...repeat. Or add a "very" to delicious. That should make it clearer!

halfmanhalfbiscuit · Joined: 13 Oct 2007 Location: Seoul

Jo bae ankopayo 조배안고파요

hellofaniceguy · Joined: 10 Jan 2003 Location: On your computer screen!

I'm confused...why not just tell them "no !"
Or, I am full, or I don't want anymore. Or it taste terrible and when it does taste bad to me, I tell them!
I go out all the time with co-workers...and what I do not do is share the same dishes that all of them do. That is nasty! Everyone putting their sticks into the different bowls and then into their mouths! And I tell them so.
Nasty! Gesh...I don't know where your lips were last night and I am not sticking my sticks into the same bowl as ten others are.
But seriously, when you're full, say so!