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Korean Job Discussion Forums
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madoka
Joined: 27 Mar 2008
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 Posted: Tue Jul 28, 2009 8:05 pm Post subject: |
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| whatever wrote: |
| Got dumped by my ex-K-gf's dad, two years into it. |
Dude that sucks. Sounds like you really loved him. Was your ex-gf ever jealous you were dating her dad? |
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Joe666
Joined: 19 Nov 2008
Location: Jesus it's hot down here!
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| Posted: Tue Jul 28, 2009 10:58 pm Post subject: |
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madoka wrote:
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| Dude that sucks. Sounds like you really loved him. Was your ex-gf ever jealous you were dating her dad? |
Come on brother, where's the love. The man probably spent a lot of time and energy, only to have it flushed away by an external force. |
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gregoriomills
Joined: 02 Mar 2009
Location: Busan, Korea
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| Posted: Wed Jul 29, 2009 5:31 am Post subject: |
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| Snake Doctor wrote: |
Okay listen to me very carefully.
I don't know how old you are, but if you entertain the thought of marriage and you haven't finished doing all the things that you wanted to do as a single man yet, DO NOT LET HER GUILT TRIP YOU into something that you'll regret.
Make damn sure my friend, because Korean girls, once you tie the knot, will put the most unbelievable pressure on you to do what they deem worthy of a husband. This does NOT fall into line with western thought. This will include everything you can imagine that falls into the category of "responsibility".
Just be damn sure you know what you're getting into. Don't let her pressure you into doing something you're not ready for. If she really loves you, she can wait a couple of years - which she most likely won't. Unfortunately, the pressure on them to marry within a time frame they've been programmed - will probably win over any feelings.
Trust me, I've been married for 11 years to a Korean. I wanted to wait a couple of years and experience Japan, travel to SEA, and my wife laid a serious guilt trip on me. That doesn't mean I don't love her, because I do. It just means that I sacrificed a lot of plans to marry her. If I had it to do all over again, I probably would have gone on with my original plan. Would've lost her for sure, but at least I could've done the things I wanted to do before settling down.
It's a life choice, and although I'm better off for the decision I made - I should've followed my dreams and traveled more. Make no mistake, once you're married, (especially to a Korean girl) - your opportunities to travel and work in other countries go down exponentially.
However, there are exceptions to the rule. With any luck, you might even come to an understanding that you want to do all the things you want to do - and maybe she can wait for you. |
Did this post bum anyone else out?? |
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Goku
Joined: 10 Dec 2008
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| Posted: Wed Jul 29, 2009 6:30 am Post subject: |
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| gregoriomills wrote: |
| Snake Doctor wrote: |
Okay listen to me very carefully.
I don't know how old you are, but if you entertain the thought of marriage and you haven't finished doing all the things that you wanted to do as a single man yet, DO NOT LET HER GUILT TRIP YOU into something that you'll regret.
Make damn sure my friend, because Korean girls, once you tie the knot, will put the most unbelievable pressure on you to do what they deem worthy of a husband. This does NOT fall into line with western thought. This will include everything you can imagine that falls into the category of "responsibility".
Just be damn sure you know what you're getting into. Don't let her pressure you into doing something you're not ready for. If she really loves you, she can wait a couple of years - which she most likely won't. Unfortunately, the pressure on them to marry within a time frame they've been programmed - will probably win over any feelings.
Trust me, I've been married for 11 years to a Korean. I wanted to wait a couple of years and experience Japan, travel to SEA, and my wife laid a serious guilt trip on me. That doesn't mean I don't love her, because I do. It just means that I sacrificed a lot of plans to marry her. If I had it to do all over again, I probably would have gone on with my original plan. Would've lost her for sure, but at least I could've done the things I wanted to do before settling down.
It's a life choice, and although I'm better off for the decision I made - I should've followed my dreams and traveled more. Make no mistake, once you're married, (especially to a Korean girl) - your opportunities to travel and work in other countries go down exponentially.
However, there are exceptions to the rule. With any luck, you might even come to an understanding that you want to do all the things you want to do - and maybe she can wait for you. |
Did this post bum anyone else out?? |
lol totally.
I'm thinking of dumping my girl now. lol |
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drkalbi
Joined: 06 Aug 2006
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| Posted: Wed Jul 29, 2009 7:14 am Post subject: |
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| Dude. No big thing. I proposed to my wife after 4 months of dating. BUT our engagement was about 15 months. Tell her you can see the two of you together for a long time, but you want to take things slow. Tell her your plans for the future. If she is cool with it, you have a keeper. Worked for me. Been happily married for 11 years. [/b] |
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owlofpsychology
Joined: 26 Jul 2009
Location: USA
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| Posted: Wed Jul 29, 2009 11:33 am Post subject: |
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Hmm...
Well, if you're a chap who likes having his freedom... I'd just get that out of your system beforehand, I imagine there's alot of cultural differences between foreigners and native Koreans when it comes to dating. Getting education on those customs might make it safer for someone pursuing a relationship. I know romance is definently large in Korean culture(having a valentine's day every month: bappedo day, white day, black day...etc...). So, I would think dating a Korean girl would be a pretty deep and serious thing for your significant other.
Asian culture seems to be like that. I dated a girl from Taiwan, and we had fights all the time, from things I viewed as "little", inwhich she viewed as "huge". I mean, it was alot of fun being with her; awesome girl. However, she brought up the M word three months into it. That's when the fights got REALLY bad. I still had two semesters left in school, and she had one; and she wanted to get married before she graduated. Eventually, this led to our breakup. However, speaking with other people in similar situations, and they stated that there was a huge cultural barrier between them. Some of the relationships have been happily married for years now, others were more like mine.
If you're planning on being in Korea for the long run; then perhaps look for a serious relationship. If you're in Korea to pay off student loans, or make some money for a year or so; try and do all those adventurous things that you want to do. If everything is comped for you as a teacher, you should have extra cash to go to Japan or Russia. Make sure you get your girl's intentions beforehand. If you're looking for something not serious, I've heard there's a significant amount of girls in the Seoul area who are looking for the same, according to some of my friends who are teachers over there already.
However, you gotta make sure you're ready to be married before anything like that even becomes a possibility. |
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D.D.
Joined: 29 May 2008
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| Posted: Thu Jul 30, 2009 12:55 am Post subject: |
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| sakamuras wrote: |
Well, it's quite obvious the OP led his girlfriend into believing the relationship is something serious. By taking responibility, it means being honest with her regarding future plans and goals. Based on what the OP said, it appears Korea was only a stop on a personal world tour. Nothing wrong with that, but at least grow a pair and let the girlfriend know what the intentions are. Seems like the OP wants the "benefits" of a gf here in Korea, while also still pursuing his own independent goals.
That is just selfish in my opinion. There's another human being involved in the equation. |
You are delusional. Relationships are all supposed to go into marriage? I don't think this is the 1950's. |
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kinerry
Joined: 01 Jun 2009
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| Posted: Thu Jul 30, 2009 12:57 am Post subject: |
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| sakamuras wrote: |
And you wonder why foreign guys have a bad rep here.
Take some responsibility. Obviously she's not in the relationship just to comfort you during your stay in Korea. |
Says who?
Marriage is usually the end of your freedom, especially if you are pressured or forced into it. |
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redaxe
Joined: 01 Dec 2008
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| Posted: Thu Jul 30, 2009 8:31 pm Post subject: Re: Girlfriend said the M word |
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| grunden wrote: |
I was pretty sure it would happen. Last night she mentions the possibility of MMMMMARIAGE. In my mind I could see it all. Us shopping at emart together, buying tons of bulk products, our kids eating all the free samples, moving into the big apartment, me living in pusan for the next 10-20-30 years 
My whole life passed before my eyes. My dreams of going to China, Japan, Russia, all went down the drain. What could I do, I just said -- lets talk about it -- later. Now she is all teary eyed and ran who knows where. what to do, what to do. |
When does your contract expire? |
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Julius
Joined: 27 Jul 2006
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| Posted: Fri Jul 31, 2009 7:23 pm Post subject: Re: Girlfriend said the M word |
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| grunden wrote: |
| Last night she mentions the possibility of MMMMMMMARIAGE. |
NNNNNNNNNNNineteen. The average age of a combat soldier. |
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