Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Panda]

[Darashii]

A keeper? Heh, well, you never know.... He's gone quiet ever since I expressed doubt in his readiness to be with me. I've been waiting 6 years for us to finally get down to business, but if we're not a fit, then we're not a fit.

I'm sure. I've yet to see any evidence of any kind of REAL hardship or conflict anywhere in his past. Everything's been easy for him.

I'm suspicious. I don't plan on bringing any "problems" into his life, but such simplicity doesn't look sustainable either.

I'm also not sure if there's a creative bone in his body. Would our relationship suffer from monotony? ::shudder::

[DWAEJIMORIGUKBAP]

I have to admit (and gladly) to having been dramatically changed / influenced by one of my ex girlfriends.

We met at university. I was bright and very into my studies but had little to no social skills (socially awkward, either was too quiet or often went too far, put my foot in it and basically found it hard to like or get on with most others..) couldn't let go easily, was obsessed with showing a strong front, tough attitude and had no idea how to enjoy the small things in life. Basically I was a bit of a wanna be tough guy and always felt like I was on the edge of society.

THen I met her and fell in love. This was odd at first as I used to just be into the magazine model blonde bimbo with big *beep* kind of girl with little to no interest in personality or her mind only s*x. But this girl was an English major, into art, literature, ideas. She was a socical dynamo and got on well with almost everyone due to her energy and general niceness and genrosity. She was very open and giving and flexible also very ladylike in almost an old fashioned way (grew up in the very rural south of the USA) and wasn't really my type in the looks department. In a lot of ways we were proverbial chalk and cheese from completely different backgrounds and with very different personalites and outlooks. I was (and still am) agnostic / atheist, she a Catholic.

Well I can't say what it was she saw in me as only she will truly know that but she opened my eyes / mind / heart up to so much in life that I was missing out on or was ignortant of before.

I'd always been into cinema (was a drama / film student) and loved the technical aspects of film and narrative and was always an avid reader but my tastes were very pedestrian, I had bo actual idea of or appreciation for art with deeper meaning. She got me into literature which is now 10 years later one of the biggest loves of my life. She also got me inspired by art and ideas based on feeling and emotion whereas beofre my ideas for films were very technical and genre / plot driven rather than people driven. I'm now into art and movies from a much broader range...

She also taught me how to soften up and not be against everything, to not worry about showing my soft side to others alone or in public . She also taught me how to gain great enjoyment from and pleasure in the small things in life - watching a bird in the garden, a sunny day, a nice cafe and a simple meal, poetry, things like that...

Also I started hanging out with a broader range of people. Before I'd only hang out with people very simillar to me with saimillar tastes but after that I started to give others a chance and definately made a better grpoups of friends and also founf it easier to make friends and get on with people.

Sounds very American Beauty doesn't it...? Well, there weren't any 'lectures' on all this stuff or anything during the few months we were together, but thsoe things just rubbed off on me from her...

I have to say she started off/ inspired a revolution of my character and personality. I mean I'm still me and have a lot of traits I've always had but these are now complemented with a lot of new aspects too which have made me a better and fuller and happier person. And it doesn't make me feel week or that I'm not you know, existentially self made / reliant etc, to admit that somene else had such a profound effect on my development.

And we're still good friends.

[mimis]

That's a sweet story Dwaeji.. She sounds like a lovely girl. Great she had such a positive influence on you.

[TheUrbanMyth]

Take it or leave it.

[Draz]

Forced me to socialize and called me on inappropriate public behavior.

Introduced me to art and different music. Loathed most of it at first glance. I still don't like most of it but at least I'm aware of it so I can pretend to be somewhat cultured and cool and stuff.

Provided an intensive course in the cues that tell you when people are talking around the truth, so later they can claim to have "never lied to you". EXTREMELY useful in the workplace!

Took me into the deepest darkest depression of my life to date... twice.

Dead to me now.

[peppermint]

changed me- not really, but I try to learn something from every relationship, even if it's as simple as how to make a really fantastic spaghetti sauce.

[DWAEJIMORIGUKBAP]

Wow Draz, hope you got over it.

Pmint - I guess for me it was as much bringing out aspects that were already there but not used rather than installing new ones so to speak..

Remember - no need to use too much garlic, just cook what you do use for a small time and add it at the last moment..

[cwflaneur]

An ex-gf got me hooked on Splenda with my black tea. Now I have Splenda sent to me regularly when I'm overseas. That was pretty profound.

Their tastes in books, music, film, etc have never rubbed off on me very much, unless mine were already similar.

[djsmnc]

They realized they couldn't change me. That's why we aren't together anymore!

[Draz]

[travel zen]

I learned quickly:

"Never fall in love with a party girl" also "don't date bimbos, not even for sex"

[DWAEJIMORIGUKBAP]

[Panda]

[DWAEJIMORIGUKBAP]