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roll_eks
Joined: 31 Aug 2009 Location: Seoul from Nevada
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Posted: Sat Sep 19, 2009 7:03 am Post subject: korea is EMPTY!!! |
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yep... welcome to another "troll experience" -thats by the way what "roll_eks" stands for...
anyway: after having been here for 3 weeks, korea is not "scary" anymore.. its just ... "empty".
classes go well, my boss likes me, i dine out with korean coworkers at least trice a week, smile... smile ... and smile. everything is just fine. have even made some korean friends and met a potential future gf...
however: its really hard to reach out to people, to connect on a personal and indivual level, without me being perceived as "the generic american/waygook" and probably me to recognize a spark of individuality buried below layers of social conventions and my projected images of what koreans are.
all this talking, this routine.... i know that vegas is not exactly the paragon of profound human interactions, but somehow i never felt such a large gap between appearances and absence.
the above is just a description of some of my recurring thoughts about korea. maybe im empty as well, since i don't really feel affected by korea's emptiness. i'm here to make some money and perform a contract-signed job. i know i can't change how korea is, nor do i want to. i'm just a visitor/guest...
nevertheless, after an evening spent eating samkyepsal and drinking suh-joo with koreans and weehgooks, a loud succession of non-stop talking, i'm looking outside the window and what i see is ...a mysterious land.  |
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tenchu77491
Joined: 16 Mar 2009
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Posted: Sat Sep 19, 2009 7:18 am Post subject: |
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| I am going to just say-- I think it's easy to get on the inside or 'connect' with Koreans if you're using their language.. they tend to open up or let you in. You won't just be 'a foreigner' as much any more. |
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blaseblasphemener
Joined: 01 Jun 2006 Location: There's a voice, keeps on calling me, down the road, that's where I'll always be
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Posted: Sat Sep 19, 2009 8:30 am Post subject: |
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| It's soju. (So-jew) |
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crossmr

Joined: 22 Nov 2008 Location: Hwayangdong, Seoul
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Posted: Sat Sep 19, 2009 8:40 am Post subject: |
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| admitting you have a problem is the first step. |
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BadBadMan
Joined: 06 Jun 2008
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Posted: Sat Sep 19, 2009 9:41 am Post subject: |
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Welcome, hope you have a nice stay, etc etc.
Really, you've only been in the country 3 weeks. I feel displaced even when I move to an apartment 30 minutes away, and I'm Korean. It'll get better as you make personal ties and find new things to do, new habits, new routines.  |
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crossmr

Joined: 22 Nov 2008 Location: Hwayangdong, Seoul
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Posted: Sat Sep 19, 2009 4:02 pm Post subject: |
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| BadBadMan wrote: |
Really, you've only been in the country 3 weeks. I feel displaced even when I move to an apartment 30 minutes away, and I'm Korean. |
you might want to read some of his other threads first... |
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PARAMDUNGI
Joined: 11 Sep 2009 Location: Busan
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Posted: Sat Sep 19, 2009 7:52 pm Post subject: |
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| Ehh, it will come. You'll meet people. They will introduce you to more people. Before you know it you'll have a crew together. |
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strange_brew
Joined: 12 Oct 2008
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Posted: Sat Sep 19, 2009 10:22 pm Post subject: |
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| crossmr wrote: |
| admitting you have a problem is the first step. |
You know, you're kind of a giant (insert bad name here, as the TOS won't allow me to say anything,)
Just allow this person thier personal musings. |
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byrddogs

Joined: 19 Jun 2009 Location: Shanghai
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Posted: Sat Sep 19, 2009 10:36 pm Post subject: |
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| strange_brew wrote: |
| crossmr wrote: |
| admitting you have a problem is the first step. |
You know, you're kind of a giant (insert bad name here, as the TOS won't allow me to say anything,)
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Last edited by byrddogs on Sun Sep 20, 2009 2:21 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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kangnam mafioso
Joined: 27 Jan 2003 Location: Teheranno
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Posted: Sun Sep 20, 2009 3:19 am Post subject: |
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It seems you are expecting a lot after 3 weeks. I spent my first 6 months in Seoul not knowing anyone really. Korea baffled me (and still does), right up to the end of my 2.5 years there, but that was part of its charm. You have to get a crew of other expats to make your time there enjoyable and you will forge a few friendships with the locals after you filter through all the bogus "just want to practice englishey" ones. and finding a girlfriend certainly helps, although you shouldn't rush that part or dive into something for the wrong reasons (i.e., you're desperate, lonely, etc). I used to go to Geckos alone on Wed or Thurs, sit at the bar and just talk to other koreans/ foreigners for company. I eventually met some mates and we would go to hongdae on the weekends. There was a club called Hodge Podge and meeting local women there was about as hard as finding a pc room in seoul.
If you're somehow expecting Korea to be like America or Nevada or Vegas, I suggest you pack up and return home because you B on the otherside of the world bro --- you might as well be on another planet ... PLANET KOREA. Try to enjoy it instead of comparing it to what you know ... you might even end up missing it one day after you've returned to Planet USA. |
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kangnam mafioso
Joined: 27 Jan 2003 Location: Teheranno
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Posted: Sun Sep 20, 2009 3:24 am Post subject: |
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| tenchu77491 wrote: |
| I am going to just say-- I think it's easy to get on the inside or 'connect' with Koreans if you're using their language.. they tend to open up or let you in. You won't just be 'a foreigner' as much any more. |
i don't think getting fluent or even intermediate korean skills is the answer to connecting to koreans. they are going to see you as an outsider no matter what and let's be realistic ... a lot teachers only stay 1-2 years and so becoming an expert in korean isn't possible.
i think learning a few words to get you around is a no-brainer. More importantly, being open-minded about their culture ... learning to enjoy the food and drink, history, their unique social interactions and trying to respect that and participate in that while you're there will open a lot of doors. |
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thefarns
Joined: 21 Oct 2008
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Posted: Sun Sep 20, 2009 4:33 am Post subject: |
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It seems to me that about 3 weeks into my first job, part of my brain woke up and I decided I could survive here. I've been in 2 different cities, and in both cases, it was 3 lonely months before I started really getting "networked."
And by the time that happens, you'll realize you've lost the ability to hold an English conversation. At least . . .that's been my experience. |
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isthisreally
Joined: 01 Sep 2007
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Posted: Sun Sep 20, 2009 4:40 am Post subject: |
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I felt the same way you felt and still do a lot of the time. You want to know why? Cause that's how Korea is.
Koreans are this way to each other too even there friends. Let's take my gf.
Her parents don't know I live with her.
Many of her friends don't know about me.
Many of her friends think she is a virgin.
She always smiles and puts on a show when she goes out (that's not who she is or who any of us are) and people think this is her.
In Korea it can be hard to make good friends and get on the inside. People will hang out with you once a week for a year and the relationship could be a total fake. They're bored, they want to learn English, they want to be nice and show the foreigner around, whatever the reasons I don't understand it exactly.
On the other hand, with girls I date suddenly I'm on the inside. I can get them to be honest, I know they actually like me and basically I see a different Korea (the real one).
Welcome to Korea. |
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VanIslander

Joined: 18 Aug 2003 Location: Geoje, Hadong, Tongyeong,... now in a small coastal island town outside Gyeongsangnamdo!
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Posted: Sun Sep 20, 2009 4:45 am Post subject: |
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| kangnam mafioso wrote: |
| i don't think getting fluent or even intermediate korean skills is the answer to connecting to koreans. they are going to see you as an outsider no matter what |
exactly
| kangnam mafioso wrote: |
| More importantly, being open-minded about their culture ... learning to enjoy the food and drink, history, their unique social interactions and trying to respect that and participate in that while you're there will open a lot of doors. |
that has been my experience |
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Css
Joined: 27 Sep 2004 Location: South of the river
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Posted: Sun Sep 20, 2009 4:46 am Post subject: |
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| isthisreally wrote: |
Koreans are this way to each other too even there friends. Let's take my gf.
Her parents don't know I live with her.
Many of her friends don't know about me.
Many of her friends think she is a virgin.
She always smiles and puts on a show when she goes out (that's not who she is or who any of us are) and people think this is her.
Welcome to Korea. |
You dont think most of that would change if you were korean and not a foreign dude?
Im sure her close friends know shes not a virgin.
Ive found that people are pretty much the same the world over..the point was mentioned above, its language that allows you inside the circle.
Being able to speak korean opens sooooooo many doors in korea. You go from being just another english teacher to being a real person..Someone with whom to practice english to someone who can be a real friend and talk about normal stuff with. You go from being scary to being approachable.
If you learn korean, korea becomes an entirely different place. |
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