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Panda
Joined: 25 Oct 2008
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 Posted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 11:32 am Post subject: Outgoing Socially-incapable People |
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We usually think socially-incapable people are introverted.
However I know several people who are very outgoing and warm, they talk loudly and laugh all the time, but people don't really like them and keep them out of the circle.
Some people never know how people dislike them, they always feel good about themselves and believe they are popular; the others know that they have problems. they often feel depressed.
I know a Korea girl who always speaks more than other people do, makes inappropriate jokes on us, talks dirty in public, laughs thrillingly like an owl.
However she would tell me honestly she is very unhappy and depressed, feeling like a loser because no one loves her.
What shall I do to help her? Shall I let her know all the terrible things others( I ) think of her and make her change? What is the best way to give suggestions without hurting her feeling too much? |
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The Gipkik
Joined: 30 Mar 2009
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| Posted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 2:00 pm Post subject: |
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Sounds like she's overcompensating because she's trying to avoid feeling invisible. Maybe she needs the attention, good or bad. Best thing you could really do is talk about an imaginary friend you have and make a parable about self-confidence and the changes this friend went through to get to a better place.
But be sure that she is just being socially insensitive. It might be her way to show how much she despises some people and not only herself. It could be an oblique form of vindication for her. |
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Underwaterbob
Joined: 08 Jan 2005
Location: In Cognito
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| Posted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 3:36 pm Post subject: Re: Outgoing Socially-incapable People |
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Inappropriate jokes, foul language, maniacal laugh... she sounds like a lot of fun.
Seriously, it sounds like you are close enough to her to give her some honest criticism without crushing her entirely. If she's telling bawdy jokes and being crass, she's not entirely gutless. Tell her that people might pay more attention to her if she didn't try so hard. |
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Goku
Joined: 10 Dec 2008
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| Posted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 4:31 pm Post subject: |
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Hmm...
Sounds like she hasn't met the right people.
Frankly, she sounds like she has some male mannerisms. Usually dirty jokes is humor suited for guys. So she probably doesn't have the right circle of friends she hangs around.
Although, frankly I'd be the kind of guy NOT to hang around her, so I can say that not all guys like this behavior of girls. It's just not... expected. It would be like a guy constantly drinking tea with a pinky up and laughing shrilly about jokes about the queen, her majesty.
She sounds like a really fun girl though. I know she will find someone who will definitely like her. She's not my style, but I know a lot of guys who like women who make dirty jokes and are outgoing. |
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asams
Joined: 17 Nov 2008
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| Posted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 6:24 pm Post subject: |
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| Goku wrote: |
| It's just not... expected. It would be like a guy constantly drinking tea with a pinky up and laughing shrilly about jokes about the queen, her majesty. |
So you're saying Englishmen are kinda girly?
Actually, yeah, I'd agree with you there |
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aboxofchocolates
Joined: 21 Mar 2008
Location: on your mind
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| Posted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 6:58 pm Post subject: |
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| Just smack her and tell her to get back in the kitchen. Or find her some cooler friends. Those dudes sound lame. |
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Teddycakes21
Joined: 18 Oct 2009
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| Posted: Tue Oct 20, 2009 5:12 am Post subject: |
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| The people I work with are either REALLY ANGRY or REALLY HAPPY. There's not much of an in-between with any of them. |
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oldenew
Joined: 25 Aug 2009
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| Posted: Tue Oct 20, 2009 6:18 am Post subject: |
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Pleasure her with booze then pleasure her anally then brag to all the guys. She sounds like a party down broad to me. Just what I like.
Take pictures!!! |
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.38 Special
Joined: 08 Jul 2009
Location: Pennsylvania
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| Posted: Tue Oct 20, 2009 8:27 am Post subject: |
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| oldenew wrote: |
Pleasure her with booze then pleasure her anally then brag to all the guys. She sounds like a party down broad to me. Just what I like.
Take pictures!!! |
Don't get drunk and post on the internet. Good Lord! 
If you confront her about this, you may be opening a very serious can of worms. The sob and pity story could range from growing up rurally with all male friends (and being ashamed of both), to a socially isolated childhood due to intensive study or to bad parenting, or the story could even be much, much worse.
But I sympathize with your friend. It's not hard these days to become socially isolated for a long period of time, especially in your teens, and the effects upon your ability to socialize amicably can be astounding.
I second the idea of the "my friend is so annoying, don't you think ___?" with an imagined anecdote that parallels her. Be as subtle as you can.
But be weary of the outcome. She won't change quickly, and it will be hard, and if she chooses not to change... keep her away from subway tracks 
But that's all speculation, of course. |
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DWAEJIMORIGUKBAP
Joined: 28 May 2009
Location: Electron cloud
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| Posted: Tue Oct 20, 2009 7:28 pm Post subject: |
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Just tell her to chill the hell out and relax about herself.
Don't give a rat's what anyone thinks and just be herself.
If that doesn't work, she hasn't find the right crowd for her yet. |
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