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DWAEJIMORIGUKBAP
Joined: 28 May 2009
Location: Electron cloud
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 Posted: Thu Nov 05, 2009 7:30 pm Post subject: |
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Someone cheating is the one doing wrong.
A single person who sleeps with someone who is in a relationship and isn't close to the other partner - fair game. It is the cheater who is cheating not the one sleeping with the cheater (although they may be cheating themselves if they have deep feelings for the cheater.) |
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aboxofchocolates
Joined: 21 Mar 2008
Location: on your mind
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| Posted: Thu Nov 05, 2009 7:46 pm Post subject: |
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Sector7G
Joined: 24 May 2008
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| Posted: Thu Nov 05, 2009 7:47 pm Post subject: |
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| DWAEJIMORIGUKBAP wrote: |
Someone cheating is the one doing wrong.
A single person who sleeps with someone who is in a relationship and isn't close to the other partner - fair game. It is the cheater who is cheating not the one sleeping with the cheater (although they may be cheating themselves if they have deep feelings for the cheater.) |
So the only qualification you make is whether the single person is close to the other partner? Mmm, interesting.
By the way, how do you define not close? (complete stranger, casual acquaintance, no Xmas card exchange, estranged family member,etc...?) |
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DWAEJIMORIGUKBAP
Joined: 28 May 2009
Location: Electron cloud
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| Posted: Thu Nov 05, 2009 7:52 pm Post subject: |
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| Sector7G wrote: |
| DWAEJIMORIGUKBAP wrote: |
Someone cheating is the one doing wrong.
A single person who sleeps with someone who is in a relationship and isn't close to the other partner - fair game. It is the cheater who is cheating not the one sleeping with the cheater (although they may be cheating themselves if they have deep feelings for the cheater.) |
So the only qualification you make is whether the single person is close to the other partner? Mmm, interesting.
By the way, how do you define not close? (complete stranger, casual acquaintance, no Xmas card exchange, estranged family member,etc...?) |
Not close = someone you don't know or have significant interactions with. Simple really. |
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Sector7G
Joined: 24 May 2008
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| Posted: Thu Nov 05, 2009 10:32 pm Post subject: |
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| DWAEJIMORIGUKBAP wrote: |
Not close = someone you don't know or have significant interactions with. Simple really. |
So if the shoe was on the other foot, and you found out your wife or girlfriend was sleeping with some guy you have no significant interaction with - let's say he lives in your building and maybe even occasionally shares the elevator( but knows you are the husband or boyfriend), you are saying you would have no problem with that guy?? Fair game? |
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prideofidaho
Joined: 19 Mar 2008
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| Posted: Thu Nov 05, 2009 11:15 pm Post subject: |
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| I don't get how it matters if you know the person's SO or not, or if they're married or not. You're not off the hook. As long as you know the person you're messing about with has a SO, you're making a greasy decision. Sure, the cheater is a low life, but the person he/she is cheating with is guilty of ignoring the fact that this cheater has a SO who probably expects them not to cheat. I dunno, I just can't see how you can talk your way out of that. Maybe it's not as bad, but it's not good. And fair game? That's cold...people's lives aren't a game. I'd jack someone up if they cheated on me, and I'd jack the damn cheater if they had the balls to say 'fair game. you know how it is...' |
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Dave Mohammad
Joined: 04 Nov 2009
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| Posted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 12:28 am Post subject: |
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The whole concept of sexual attraction is unfair right from the start. I think one has to accept a degree of competition in these matters.
Although if the 'cheater' is spending a great deal of money wining and dining their mistress at the expense of their family thats a little different. |
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Rae
Joined: 10 Oct 2007
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| Posted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 4:23 am Post subject: |
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| Joe666 wrote: |
| I will write what I had previously written in the "should I break up with my boy friend" thread. You are the one of the scariest females on the planet!! I realize you are Asian and that probably plays a major role in you thought processes. I wish you the best in all your future endeavors. |
You gotta be joking. I know a lot of expats have been had by the "sweet, innocent" and incidentally hot Asian girl they met at a bar but why group everyone up into the same mix. I'm Asian American and not everyone has a distorted sense of morals.
To the OP: it all comes down to the golden rule ... "do onto others what you would like them to do onto you". |
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Panda
Joined: 25 Oct 2008
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| Posted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 8:26 am Post subject: |
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| Rae wrote: |
To the OP: it all comes down to the golden rule ... "do onto others what you would like them to do onto you". |
Thanks, Rae, I always liked your post.
But I can only partly agree with you. What you said sounds like some heart balm to the weaker (in this case).
Notice how heterogeneous human beings are...
Cheaters often hurt others a lot, but lots of them never get hurt, its not unusual a womanizer get tons of girls loving him faithfully......whats wrong with the world?
Love is a game that physically and mentally stronger people win...So cruel but so true as well.
Don't let the anger, don't let what others did control your emotion, you are the decision maker you are your own boss, if you want an innocent world, be faithful to your own partner and stay happy with what you are having, ignore all bullshit around you............and get your own peace.
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aboxofchocolates
Joined: 21 Mar 2008
Location: on your mind
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| Posted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 12:50 pm Post subject: |
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| prideofidaho wrote: |
| I don't get how it matters if you know the person's SO or not, or if they're married or not. You're not off the hook. As long as you know the person you're messing about with has a SO, you're making a greasy decision. Sure, the cheater is a low life, but the person he/she is cheating with is guilty of ignoring the fact that this cheater has a SO who probably expects them not to cheat. I dunno, I just can't see how you can talk your way out of that. Maybe it's not as bad, but it's not good. And fair game? That's cold...people's lives aren't a game. I'd jack someone up if they cheated on me, and I'd jack the damn cheater if they had the balls to say 'fair game. you know how it is...' |
Yeah, I probably wouldn't be a big fan of the woman (or man or horse) with whom my man cheated. But she wouldn't really be on my mind. She's not part of the me-and-he problem, she's insignificant except that she was the place my bf went he promised me he'd never go. She's not thinking of me, I'm not going to waste my time thinking of her.
Oh, music to soothe wounds:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNlfUWfXdvo |
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AmericanExile
Joined: 04 May 2009
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| Posted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 2:25 pm Post subject: |
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| Panda wrote: |
| Love is a game that physically and mentally stronger people win... |
It seems you define winning by who gets the most people to be in love with them without necessarily feeling anything in return. That's kinda a f&*%ed up way of seeing love. I think you actually mean sex.
If their is such a thing as "winning at love" it must be done with someone else. You win together or lose separately. Kinda like a three legged race. If you don't cross the line with a partner you can't win. Teams that work well together often beat teams that are physically or mentally stronger.
Don't you think it's cool when you meet people who have been married 50-60 years that still love each other? If anyone won they did. It doesn't seem to have anything to do with being beautiful or smart or rich. I don't know what does make it work, but it seems to have a lot to do with picking the right partner. Interactions are unpredictable. Qualities you had no idea you needed or that you'd even like make all the difference. Raise your hand if you have ever been surprised by something you like in someone else.
I'm a terrible singer but I love to sing. Often when I'm lost in thought I will sing along with the radio without thinking about it. Most commonly this happens in cars. Many is the time I have been abused by friends, family members, and an SO about my singing. I was driving back home from the city one night with my girlfriend. We had spent the day there together and it was late. I was thinking and started singing to the radio unaware. Then I heard something. It wasn't her bitching about my singing. I was her singling with me. I FN loved her for that. Until that moment I never knew how important that was to me - to have someone to sing with. |
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sarahsiobhan
Joined: 24 May 2009
Location: Wherever I am , I am probably drinking tea.
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| Posted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 3:09 pm Post subject: |
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| ...I just got a little teary at the above...*sniffle* |
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Draz
Joined: 27 Jun 2007
Location: Land of Morning Clam
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| Posted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 4:11 pm Post subject: |
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| aboxofchocolates wrote: |
Yeah, I probably wouldn't be a big fan of the woman (or man or horse) with whom my man cheated. But she wouldn't really be on my mind. She's not part of the me-and-he problem, she's insignificant except that she was the place my bf went he promised me he'd never go. She's not thinking of me, I'm not going to waste my time thinking of her. |
You've never been cheated on, eh? |
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sarahsiobhan
Joined: 24 May 2009
Location: Wherever I am , I am probably drinking tea.
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| Posted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 4:14 pm Post subject: |
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| I thought that, too. Rationally, you know it 's not the other person's fault. Irrationally, you want to tear out their intestine and choke them with it. |
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Rae
Joined: 10 Oct 2007
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| Posted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 5:03 pm Post subject: |
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| Panda wrote: |
| Rae wrote: |
To the OP: it all comes down to the golden rule ... "do onto others what you would like them to do onto you". |
Thanks, Rae, I always liked your post.
But I can only partly agree with you. What you said sounds like some heart balm to the weaker (in this case).
Notice how heterogeneous human beings are...
Cheaters often hurt others a lot, but lots of them never get hurt, its not unusual a womanizer get tons of girls loving him faithfully......whats wrong with the world?
Love is a game that physically and mentally stronger people win...So cruel but so true as well.
Don't let the anger, don't let what others did control your emotion, you are the decision maker you are your own boss, if you want an innocent world, be faithful to your own partner and stay happy with what you are having, ignore all bullshit around you............and get your own peace.
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Yeh, it is a lot of heart balm but not necessarily for the weaker. If it's that game everyone's playing, then I'm tapping out! But surprisingly, not everyone plays the same game. Just cause the world seems to be full of assholes doesn't mean you gotta be a one or lower your ideals to cope.
As for the womanizer with the entourage following him around faithfully, I don't know if you can classify that as love. In the end though, whatever works for people ... but I don't think anyone ever wants to be cheated on, not just by a lover, but in general. If you don't care, then it means the relationship/person/object didn't really mean much to you anyway. |
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