Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Xuanzang]

Bravo. You've done one better than the governator ppcg4.

[bassexpander]

Change your phone number.

Seriously. That's one thing Koreans do to signal "It's OVER!"

Either that, or have a Korean female friend call her and start going off about how she doesn't want her calling your number anymore, because she is your new girlfriend.

[mr. positive]

wow, bassexpander, you really know how the game is played...

[mateomiguel]

Congrats to the OP for dropping the chick. What some posters on this thread don't realize that a thousand thousand words poured into a thousand justifications on why things that make you uncomfortable are okay and you really shouldn't worry do nothing to actually fix anything. Paying attention to your heart's emotions and shooting from the hip on relationship issues is the only way to go. If that makes you sad, immature, scared, jealous, crazy, etc etc etc or whatever it doesn't actually matter for one's emotional well-being. Giving them those labels only adds guilt to the mix of emotions that are already there, which is like spoiling a good soup.

For those of you telling him to suck it up and its no big deal and what is he worried about, you forgot the most important aspect of this whole situation - he was worried about it. Why did you discount his feelings so easily? For that matter, why did SHE discount his feelings so easily? Neither the girl nor the clueless posters on this thread really care about this dude's emotions, so he needed to drop her and them like a bad bowl of kimchi. And looks like he did. Great!

You know a real, quality girl will notice if you feel uncomfortable or worried and call you or talk to you or whatever to make it okay. They don't throw a big issue out on the table right at the beginning of the relationship and tell you to deal with it. I know, its happened to me before. They actually care about you and how you're feeling, and try to make things better for you if you're not alright. Find yourself one of them and life will be rosy, OP!

[redaxe]

[nautilus]

Now she's been dumped, she'll lose attractiveness with the ExBF/best friend dude as well. Nobody wants to pick up losing assets.

Ultimately the tragedy is with her...because she failed to properly move on in her life from a past relationship. As panda said...

[D-Man]

Thanks again for all your replies and comments.5 days in and I am still going strong.Lots of good fish in the sea of life.

[sarahsiobhan]

Coming from a woman who hates to see a nice, decent man get played like a fiddle by a not-so-nice woman, I say to you.....cheers. Good job.

[Manner of Speaking]

No kidding. Dude, it sounds like that woman needed to do some serious growing up. How can anyone commit to a serious relationship if they are not going to remove all the barriers to letting it go all the way? What was wrong with her saying to her friend, "Ok, we can still be friends, but we have to change the nature of our relationship because I am seeing someone now, and I really want to make it work"? Her comment about the relationship with her friend being "non-negotiable" sounds more like the expression of a subconscious fear and unwillingness to acknowledge that the situation was just plain weird and destructive to a relationship, long-term.

It also put the OP in a weird, unbalanced power situation. Suppose the two of you have an argument...which side is her "friend" going to take? Is everything that goes on in your relationship going to end up being discussed and pored over with the "friend"?

It sounds like she's eventually going to end up back with the guy, and you were just something that was "part of her education" until it happened. You did the right thing.

[juchangok]

D-man you did the absolute right thing. There is no doubt in my mind she was still involved with her ex for more than just talking.

[Triban]

[mateomiguel]

Hey no problem dude! Glad I could help.

I also get what Manner of Speaking is saying. Say that they were still together, and have a fight. The girl immediately retreats into the arms of the understanding ex-who-is-now-just-a-friend. They talk, they commiserate, they share, perhaps late into the night. Then, say, the poor dude wants to make up and apologize. He practically has to have make-up sex with her AND the other guy in order to make things alright.

The only thing worse than that type of unbalanced power situation is a woman with an overprotective mother who you have to keep wooed alongside of her own wooing. Don't get me started about THAT.

[Panda]

[mateomiguel]

[Draz]