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soakitincider
Joined: 19 Oct 2009
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 Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 3:55 am Post subject: |
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Better to keep your mouth shut and be thought of as an idiot, rather than to open it and remove all doubt.
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DorkothyParker
Joined: 11 Apr 2009
Location: Jeju
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| Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 5:47 am Post subject: Re: How to trick people into thinking you are smart? |
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| exercise_in_futility wrote: |
I'll start things off:
1. Wear glasses.
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I'd accent this feature by occasionally removing them and wiping the lenses with a monogrammed handkerchief while looking pensive. This is especially effective in making a simple question look like it requires a deep philosophical response.
Hell, I did it twice while typing this response. |
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CasperTheFriendlyGhost
Joined: 28 Feb 2007
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| Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 5:54 am Post subject: |
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| A smart bow-tie can work wonders. |
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djsmnc
Joined: 20 Jan 2003
Location: Dave's ESL Cafe
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| Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 6:56 am Post subject: |
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| Unkempt white hair and a long wavy or shaggy beard. Matching thick eyebrows. |
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VanIslander
Joined: 18 Aug 2003
Location: Geoje, Hadong, Tongyeong,... now in a small coastal island town outside Gyeongsangnamdo!
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| Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 7:16 am Post subject: Re: How to trick people into thinking you are smart? |
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| exercise_in_futility wrote: |
| 1. Wear glasses. |
I read a lot.
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| 2. Scream out all the answers during Jeopardy... the one you saw earlier on a rerun. |
That IS stupid. Jeopardy isn't hard though in the first place, is it? (That's what a university education is good for)
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| 3. Look smug, wear a tweed suit with leather elbow patches, cross your legs and smoke an obnoxious pipe. |
It's manly not smart to smoke a pipe. I have tweed, no patches yet though one sports coat will get them some day as it's so comfortable.
Hang around at Dave's for more than 10 minutes at a time. |
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.38 Special
Joined: 08 Jul 2009
Location: Pennsylvania
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| Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 8:48 am Post subject: |
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Have red hair and don't talk. People have thought I was borderline genius since elementary school. I don't know why. I guess some minorities have better stereotypes than others. It was, however, quite prohibitive to *beep*-plumbing.
I'll now work my magic by being redheaded and silent.
Although I'll actually be looking up pensive and germane... |
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Panda
Joined: 25 Oct 2008
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| Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 11:09 am Post subject: |
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The first thing you need to do is to get stupid, because if you are already smart, then you can never TRICK people into thinking you are smart.
But once you get stupid, no matter what trick you play, people don't buy them since they are stupid tricks.
Conclusion: your request is unachievable.  |
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jameltoe
Joined: 25 Feb 2010
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| Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 11:52 am Post subject: |
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| it takes a smart man to fake being stupid |
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maryjanes
Joined: 22 Jul 2009
Location: Cheongju
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| Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 2:49 pm Post subject: |
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| 4. Be American |
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flakfizer
Joined: 12 Nov 2004
Location: scaling the Cliffs of Insanity with a frayed rope.
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| Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 3:14 pm Post subject: |
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| Here in Korea, my students think I'm a genius if I remember all the students' names and the topics of the speeches they gave last semester. |
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Adam Carolla
Joined: 26 Feb 2010
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| Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 5:06 pm Post subject: |
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| flakfizer wrote: |
| Here in Korea, my students think I'm a genius (for a foreigner) if I remember all the students' names and the topics of the speeches they gave last semester. |
I find that the average Korean has insanely low respect for the intelligence of the average foreigner. Things like being able to use chopsticks, eat kimchi without running to the nearest water faucet, and chew gum and walk at the same time have never ceased to amaze 90% of the Koreans I've met.
My conclusion: any foreigner that isn't either passed out in the street, or slobbering drunk is automatically viewed as a genius of our kind, much the way we foreigners would view a juggling monkey (extremely well-trained) or counting horse (using some kind of primitive instinctual cues for direction.)
But yes, my students think I'm pretty smart. |
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caniff
Joined: 03 Feb 2004
Location: All over the map
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| Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 5:11 pm Post subject: |
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| Often say "Hmm, Yes." and nod knowingly. |
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djsmnc
Joined: 20 Jan 2003
Location: Dave's ESL Cafe
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| Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 5:38 pm Post subject: |
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| Adam Carolla wrote: |
| flakfizer wrote: |
| Here in Korea, my students think I'm a genius (for a foreigner) if I remember all the students' names and the topics of the speeches they gave last semester. |
I find that the average Korean has insanely low respect for the intelligence of the average foreigner. Things like being able to use chopsticks, eat kimchi without running to the nearest water faucet, and chew gum and walk at the same time have never ceased to amaze 90% of the Koreans I've met.
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Unfortunately, a number of foreigners give good reason for them to believe that. I don't think that has anything to do with how they view a foreigner's intelligence, though. More like a "how well can this person adapt to what we cherish as being unique to our culture since we are quite isolated." Sorry to burst your foreigner as human exhibit postulation, but it has been quite overdone over the years. |
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Moldy Rutabaga
Joined: 01 Jul 2003
Location: Ansan, Korea
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| Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 5:42 pm Post subject: |
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Write papers constantly using "juxtapose," "question," and "other," all as verbs.
Learn to correctly pronounce Goethe. You don't have to read anything of his, you silly goose. Just know how to pronounce his name so that you can stiffly correct people.
But yes, a thoughtful "hmm" with an incisive "why do you think that is so?" during conversational pauses can save your bacon.
Get published. But you don't need to say where. Being posted on Dave's is being 'published' in a way, right? |
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maryjanes
Joined: 22 Jul 2009
Location: Cheongju
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| Posted: Sat Mar 20, 2010 2:52 am Post subject: |
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| How does one use "other" as a verb? I'm intrigued. |
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