Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Tigerstyleone]

This happens to me every year, and I want to learn how to deal with it.
It really brings me down, causes stress and makes me upset.
I know other teachers deal with it just fine, and I want to learn how.
Its my emotions that I need to keep in check.

Saving Face:

One of the naughty bad boys complains to his mother and tells a lie about me such as my class is boring or that I hit him or said some bad words about him.

The mother complains directly to the owner. The owner loses face and its my fault.
The owner then saves face by pushing the complaint to the head teacher/director.
The headteacher/ director then loses face and its my fault.
The headteacher/director saves face by punishing me for something I didn't do to begin with.
The worst punishment was being fired the other times its usually some useless lecture about my teaching or plain insults to my face.

I know the problem lies in management. I know I didn't do any of the things the naughty student said I did, but this really gets to me.

How can I just let this go? A bottle of soju? A new country? Grow up?
Why do I obsess about this? Maybe it was the time I was fired because of what one boy told his mother.

[thegadfly]

Well, students WILL lie about you to their parents, and parents WILL believe their children -- this is the natural order, and really, it SHOULD happen this way. Until proven otherwise, parents SHOULD believe their children...which brings us to "until proven otherwise."

You will get complaints -- everyone does, or is lying or unobservant. If the complaints have a common theme to them (every complaint is that you are "boring" or use "bad language"), then you may want to consider that there may be a kernal of truth in the complaint -- for example, I know of a teacher that was told he always used "bad language" to his students -- what he ACTUALLy said was "shut up." The kids thought that shut up was a curse in English, and they interpretted simple rudeness with being constantly cussed at.

Another teacher I knew was told she was "boring." She struggled to make her lessons interactive and engaging, and did a pretty good job of it -- administration in the US would have been quite happy with her performance. Unfortunately, "exciting and engaging" in the US does not always play the same in Korea...when she started to lecture more often in class, the class found it more "interesting." She felt she was taking a step back by lecturing more, but it played better to her audience here, so really, it was the right call....

If students are too confused, they become bored. They need a handle by which to grasp the class -- something that lets them predict what they will be doing -- routines that become familiar, or activities that follow expected patterns can seem "boring" to the teacher, but are useful, even necessary for the students. It seems counter-intuitive to establish a pattern to counteract boredom, but in my experience, it often works, especially if you only have the students once or twice a week.

Crap rolls downhill, but if you take steps BEFORE a problem arises to counter the typical complaints, it may prevent the situation entirely, and then you wouldn't even need to deal with the issue....

Outright lies being believed by the administration? You need to leave that job anyway -- parents are SUPPOSED to take their child's side, administration needs to take the teacher's side, at least in private. (I must admit that I know of bosses that agree with the parents in the meeting, promising to "talk to the teacher," but then, never talk to the teacher. The issue dies with the parents venting, because they boss knows the complaints are baseless...but arguing too much with the parents causes problems with the business...I think one should expect this. You may be right, and your boss may know you are right, but you probably won't get the satisfaction of your boss telling the parents that you are right and they are wrong...and that is not just a "Korea" thing.)

[PigeonFart]

I too find this face saving to be difficult to handle. I'd go as far to say that it will cause more distress in the long term compared to the stress from not speaking the local language.

At least a language barrier is expected when you move to Korea. I found the reality of living in a face saving culture to be frustrating.

[Fishead soup]

You work for a hogwan you are not a teacher you are an entertainer.
You need to watch Aryrang TV watch out for this guy called Issiac he is a goofy looing American with silly glasses and a big bowtie you need to be more like him.

Play lots of games and act silly. Whatever you do never punish a student leave that to the Korean teachers. Just take his name and tell a Korean co-teacher that this person is spoiling your (fun/easy) class.

[schlotzy]

At my old hagwon, management saved face by throwing the foreign teachers under the bus ALL the time. It used to get me soooo angry too. One time a parent complained that I slapped her 16 year old daughter. Whhhaaat? Really?!?! Obviously not. My supervisor even came to me questioning me about this, even though she knew me well, and I was the head teacher. I was seriously offended..I guess I could have looked it as her job to follow up with complaints..but sometimes they're just so outrageous. I would leave there SO furious some days.


Anyways, I found that going to the gym helped me relax a lot. I'd put on my Ipod and run/lift some weights for a couple of hours. That gets the endorphins going and the frustration out. Join taekwando or hapkido. Get some sort of hobby to take your mind off it after work. Do your work to the best of your ability, try to do the best job you can, and after school just get out of there.

[PatrickGHBusan]

Silly comments in the middle of this page aside....understanding the concept of saving face is a must if you want to be happy in Korea.

Not understanding it and its workplace implications will create problems that could be so easily avoided with a bit of thinking.

Once you understand how face works you can get on with it and get results. Too many times foreigners reduce face to some superficial reaction by a Korean employer or co-worker when it goes deeper than this.

You would expect people to understand your cultural norms should they come to work in your home country....why not try and understand the norms in Korea?

Just saying.

[highdials5]

I'm leaving mid-way through my contract in a few months as I have a job lined up in Japan.

Should I be honest about the Japan aspect, or make up some excuse to avoid my employer losing face?

I can't get my head around the whole face issue. I just can't for the life of me see why I should lie just because of Korea's insecurities...

[Welsh Canadian]

Dont look at it.

[TheUrbanMyth]

This is what I did once.

I had this student (hakwon) who was always complaining and telling lies. So I set up a video camera..hid it in a file cabinet and covered it with files...just left the lens peeking out. And I would tape his behavior. Nothing too bad and I would erase that part. Finally he complained that I slapped him which was a complete lie, but the parents came to the hakwon huffing and puffing.

So then we had our own little "Candid Camera" show.

I have never seen five people (parents, director, head teacher and kid) turn so red in all my life. Never saw that kid or the parents again...never heard another word about it from the director or head teacher either.


My point? There is a time and a place for saving face...and there is a time and a place for confronting lies directly. This is the latter situation.

[randall020105]

i have to agree with "The Myth"... bring in any old camera and explain to them that this material will be viewed by parents and others whoever...
that'll keep them in line for a while or buy you some time to reassess your strategy.

[ThingsComeAround]

How to deal with Face Saving?

Smile

Nod

Ignore

Proceed

If you take it personally it will occur repeatedly. Just understand its not you, but them and it is easier to blame/reprimand a foreigner than it is to question a mom who may take her money (and a few other parents) out of the school.

[Fishead soup]

[Cerulean]

Agree, deal and move on.

And to the annoying one, I understand saving face completely and respect it as part of the culture. When given the opportunity, I participate in it and follow the rules of it.

I also understand that if I, the foreigner, can be thrown under the bus I will be. I will always be blamed. That being said, the flip side is, when something goes very well, I will never be given credit for it.

Save the lecture, I've been here long enough to understand how life works here.

[randall020105]

things come around.... that's sooo true... and like your name says.. things do have a way of coming around.

[b-class rambler]