Korean Job Discussion Forums

[princess]

But they don't let you know their info...what's up with that, and why does my life have to be an open book, but theirs isn't? No one has a right to know my personal info, when I don't know theirs.

[NYC_Gal]

Make stuff up

[oskinny1]

Princess meet NYC_Gal.
NYC_Gal, meet Princess.

I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship!

[djsmnc]

[SeoulMan6]

Person A complains: Nobody at my school talks to me.

Person B complains: My co-workers are fishing for information about me.

[NYC_Gal]

[PastorYoon]

[princess]

[Steve_Rogers2008]

get real worked up when they ask personal info, then ask them "Why, you want to give me Korean girl?!" or change to a guy, if that's your thing....


for the girls, tell them you'll be happy to make her your wife, and take her to your country.


in a country where they now have to import women for the guys to marry, they can get rather.... TOUCHY on the thought of The White Devil stealing one of their own.

and if it's a Black Devil.... they're liable to shoot plumes of smoke and flame outta their ears.....

[toph]

Well, as for the "marriage questions:" It's just a really big part of the Korean culture. I'm assuming you're a girl--based off of your username, princess--so that just makes it a bigger deal for you specifically. For example, in Korea, many girls grow up without any intention in going to college/university, because they depend on marriage. Many grow up "learning" from their grandmothers and mothers how to cook, clean, and take care of a family. Also, starting a new family is very important for Korean women. This is something that they begin to think about fairly young, and mothers will mention it to their daughters nonchalantly. It's odd to foreigners, sure, but that's just the culture. **(Note, before I go on...I'm not saying ALL Korean people think or believe this way.This is just what I've experienced overall as a Korean).**

Anyway, it's a culture based very much on "men are the breadwinner," while "women are the homemakers." So, that's the only reason as to why I could see your co-workers are bringing marriage up. They probably think your sadness is due to the fact that you're a young woman, who's perfect for marrying...but HASN'T married yet. This clearly isn't true (in your case at least), and seems totally irrelevant, but that's what it seems they're thinking.. It seems personal to foreigners, but that's because marriage isn't typically associated with a bad-day. Either way, it's not really meant to be personal/offensive. Honestly, the fact that they're asking you these things shows [to me] that they're at least trying to get to know you/relate with you.

And again, this is just my viewpoint as a Korean. Really, it seems that all of this comes down to a cultural difference, as irrelevant as that may seem. And it's kind of hard to understand, probably, because it IS a totally diff culture. Also, I don't know if you tried this or not, but maybe you could try explaining that you don't want to get married right now, or you could try saying that you were sad for some other reason.

Anyway...hope that helped~

[frankly speaking]

TOPH:
For example, in Korea, many girls grow up without any intention in going to college/university, because they depend on marriage. Many grow up "learning" from their grandmothers and mothers how to cook, clean, and take care of a family. Also, starting a new family is very important for Korean women. This is something that they begin to think about fairly young, and mothers will mention it to their daughters nonchalantly. It's odd to foreigners, sure, but that's just the culture. **(Note, before I go on...I'm not saying ALL Korean people think or believe this way.This is just what I've experienced overall as a Korean).**

What are you 100 years old and haven't woken up to what modern Korean women and people are like.

You might be Korean but with ignorant comments like above I doubt that you know your own culture any longer.

I think the real issue that bothers people is that it is one sided. I will get asked extremely personal questions, which isn't a problem at all, but the same person doesn't reveal anything in equity. When I first came to Korea, I thought all of these questions were a way to build a deeper friendship. I was mistaken. I would never ask personal questions of anyone unless I was trying to build a friendship. Koreans on the other hand do so as small talk.

I get tired of the "their just curious" excuse. Asking me how often I make love to my wife is not a just curious question. That is just plain rude.

[toph]

Actually, I know my culture quite well. If I WERE ignorant, I wouldn't have felt confident in saying those things. Like I said, not all Koreans believe this way. There are many K-women who want to remain single their entire lives and support themselves. There are those who want to work+start a family. So in many ways, Korea has those "western ideals." But, as you probably know, Korea is no western country in terms of expectations from a women (e.g., getting married). I mean...it IS expected for women to get married. Still.

I know what modern Korea is like, as I go every other year, twice a year, and I will work there officially at the end of this year. And I know the culture MUCH more than any other foreigner will ever know, because well, I've lived it my entire life.

I'm not trying to sound old-fashioned, backwards, or even put Koreans in a characteristic box. I'm putting MY experience as a KOREAN out-there, so that maybe the OP can understand the questions better and not feel personally offended. And yes, it is still a cultural issue. That's it. It's only "one-sided," because foreigners make it so. If someone were to ask you a personal question, you said you don't care. But the problem for you was that "the same person doesn't reveal anything in equity." This wouldn't be a problem if you (e.g., the foreigner) felt comfortable in asking the Korean the same question. Let's say you did, and the Korean still didn't reveal anything--then in that case, I agree with you, it is one-sided. But through my experience...I've learned that asking personal questions to strangers is much more taboo in America than in Korea. (I only use America and Korea, because I am an American gyopo. But let's be clear: I am fully aware of the Korean culture, speak Korean fluently, and visit often). So I can't really imagine a foreigner feeling too comfortable asking his/her Korean co-worker how often they make love to their spouse after they were just asked that same question. Why? Cause it's TABOO in AMERICAN society~

[NYC_Gal]

Ask them intimate questions about their lives. I do. It makes you seem interested, even if you couldn't care less.

[Goon-Yang]

Seriously? Didn't Princess die? She's not a woman. She's a baulding 45 year old single guy who trolls Dave's using a sock.

Even if princess was a real person she'd be over 30 and by Korean standards she should be married by now.

[pangaea]

frankly speaking wrote: