Korean Job Discussion Forums

[MattAwesome]

I have been dating this girl for a few months. We have never defined our relationship in any capacity. She knows or suspects me of dating other women when she isnt around.
It may because she has a jealous frame or experienced it before, or she knows something. In any case, she also says "i know youre dating other girls, but im much prettier then them."
She also is planning ot move to China in the near future and knows that this is probably my last year here.
So recently she dropped the "i love you" by text. not knowing what to do, i just ignored it and texted about something else. thinking a dodged a bullet we moved on for another week. she might have said it the last time she came over, but again i just continued the conversation like it never happened.
so last night she wants to meet up, next message "love u", i answer the first one one. then she wants to hear a response about "love u". this was a bout 12am so i ignored it and went to sleep. i get a text later and i read it this morning, it says she wants to change locations.

I will probably see her today, so i see 3 possible scenarios arise. 1 we have a normal date and i continue to evade the issue, 2 she brings it up and we have to define our relationship, or 3, we stop seeing each other completely. I dont want to lie to the girl and say i love her with all hte promises of the future together. i said i dont know if i want a relationship.

your thoughts on my situation. i know my first mistake was not telling her what i want with her. however i havnt lied to her about anything. what do you do when someone says the L word and you are unsure of youre situation?

[8 years down]

[MattAwesome]

i do want ot make her happy, but how do you suggest i do that? i cant lie, and i have been socially conditioned to be reserved in my use of "love"

[balzor]

[Kaypea]

Do her a favor and *beep* off.

[Patrick Bateman]

Be honest with her. Don't string her along and just tell her you don't have those feelings for her; at least not right now.

But if you're asking yourself (and an Internet message board) what to do and how to react, I'd say there's a pretty good chance you should just end it. It may be the most difficult, but it's the most responsible and best in the long run.

[The Gipkik]

If you're sure that your relationship will become strained when she moves to China or when you move back home, that it truly is temporary, you have two real choices. You can be absolutely and unequivocally honest with her and maybe end your relationship earlier than you'd like but have a more honest relationship while it lasts, OR you can use "I love you, too" in a casual and noncommital way. Get over the brain freeze and tell her that you love her as well, but don't make a big deal out of it. They're only words.

I've dated girls who I didn't really love and who I suspected really didn't love me, but we told each other the words as an expression of affection, not eternal love. We liked each other well enough to feel comfortable telling each other the words.

[Who's Your Daddy?]

Reading this drivel, I'm glad I'm married. I remember those nights doubting myself. Just be clear about your intentions; this doesn't seem to be going anywhere you're both leaving Korea. So what's the point? Just have fun!

[DorkothyParker]

Don't lie; it's not nice. Just man up and have the conversation. Say what level of affection you have, "I care for you deeply" or what have you. If she wants to play the "lost motorist skit", then go through with it. Be honest!

Isn't this the fun part?

[Mariella713]

[NovaKart]

I thought this was a thread about that show, the L word.

[Ruthdes]

Don't tell her you love her if you don't. You said she's planning on moving to China. If you tell her you love her she may change her mind and start planning a future with you. Be honest, please. It will suck for her now, but she'll appreciate it in the long run.

[Xylox]

From my limited understanding of women, chicks can be pretty sensetive. You can't read anything from her really, and its better to be as blunt as possible.

She is reachin out to you, and if you give even the smallest hint of there being a slight chance that you feel similarly about her, shes gonna go for it. That is bad news for both of you man.

If you don't want to be with her, then say it straight up. The longer you draw this out the more hurt she will be, bandaid it up dude, right off.

Be assertive, be clear, and most importantly, repeat everything you say to her multiple times so that she understands theres nothing more then a platonic friendship.

[GwangjuParents]

Have fun with her...

Say "I love you".

Then a few moments later say things like:

"I sure do love the Soju at Ministop"...

"I love Ramion".

"I love the KTX".

[The Gipkik]