Korean Job Discussion Forums

[CSlinguist]

There is a topic that keeps coming up on this forum and I wanted to put it out there for some honest discussion and debate (i.e no trolling.. well we'll see how well that goes ).

Time and again I have seen some mention of foreigners "trying to be Korean," often times said with hidden or not so hidden malice. It seems that those people who some feel are "trying to be Korean" are those that speak Korean fairly well, eat Korean food and prefer to hang out in mostly Korean circles of friends. I myself would probably be lumped into that group although I haven't yet arrived in Korea. However, I am wondering where the animosity for foreigners in Korea "assimilating" comes from as opposed to in other countries (and I will focus on the US since I am American and will not presume to know about the cultures of other countries) where assimilation would be looked at positively. I know several people in the US who think that anyone who immigrates to this country absolutely should learn English, and adopt the "American mindset" and "American way of doing things". However, when people try to understand the Korean culture and adopt a Korean mindset, alot of their fellow expats look down on them. Personally I don't understand why people would expect other people to assimilate into their own culture but would not do the same when living abroad. Anyone else want to offer their own opinions or counterpoints especially those that are not from the US?

(I just want to put it out there that I respect other people's opinions if they are honest opinions but if anyone wants to write something stupid for the sake of trying to rile other people up then just be expected to be ignored)

[strangerbegins]

It's good to learn Korean and get to know Korean culture. It annoys me when waegos don't try Korean food or make Korean friends, but inversely this is a homogenous society and unless you look Korean you will never be truly excepted into Korean society the same way that someone can come to the west and blend in. Also, it seems like a lot of Koreans are unhappy because of social/family pressures, so I feel lucky that I wasn't born into this society. I wish I spoke Korean better, but I think it's silly when people work hard to live according to Korean culture. They'll never be Korean.

[Thiuda]

The most successful long term foreign residents that I know all share a set of characteristics: they are knowledgeable about Korea, its history, culture and customs, and speak (some) Korean. In addition, they've maintained strong ties to their home culture. It seems to me, these individuals take the best from Korean culture and their home culture, and unite these qualities within themselves. None of them try to be Korean, nor do they desperately cling to ideas of/from home. Hmm, I guess what I'm saying is that they're open-minded...

[SeoulNate]

That is a good question.

In my opinion the reason is a valid and just one. For every 1 Korean that I have met that is open, honest and an actual friend I could count thousands who are not. Besides that, most Koreans do not truly want to be friends with foreigners. Sure, they may hang out, go to the bars or have dinner, but you will not be included in their 'circle'. The only way to do that is to actually be Korean, it has nothing to do with language.

Sorry to burst your K-bubble, but 99% of the people you meet here can never be more than mere acquaintances, their society and views of themselves/foreigners just dont allow it.

On a side note, I suppose the 99 percent would apply to all people everywhere around the world. We dont just go making best friends with everyone we meet for the most part. However, the difference is that most of the time with westerners who do not become close friends and become acquaintances, it is because there is some difference in world/political views, hobbies, age etc. But in Korea, even if you are a good match to become friends with the K-person, it likely will not go much beyond acquaintances for the aforementioned reasons.

Dont give up however, there are a precious few Koreans who throw their society norms out of the window, dont care about what their family/other friends think and will step over cultural crossroads to become your friend. Just dont expect it to happen too often.

Now, to answer the question. Would you like to be perceived as the kind of person I just described? Personally, I would not. Hence the stigma.

[northway]

I don't think anyone really tries to be Korean, they just try to work towards a level where they are more accepting of the culture and thus feel more accepted into the culture. You can't really assimilate into the most homogeneous country in the world.

[drydell]

a couple of points on this....

(1) gender equality. For me to 'assimilate' into my role as a 'korean' style husband it would mean getting my better half to do all the cooking, washing- up, most of the house chores etc.

My wife's female co-workers (not old people either)were astonished that I'd called her to ask what she wanted me to cook for dinner that night.. That alone planted some seeds of discontent in their heads...hehe..

We've been through the sexual revolution- aint going back to before that thanks v much... Korea is catching up slowly - the influence from us is a good thing here..

(2) At a time when Korea is striving to be more international- (also a good thing in my books) what exactly does it mean to (for example) only eat korean food?..you would be copying the older generations certainly... but younger Koreans especially are seeking out lots of different international foods - drinking international coffee and wine etc especially after they've travelled a bit...
If you want to copy this caricature of a korean who only only sticks to korean food and drink fine -but it's not the way 21st century korea is going...

That aside learning language,politics, culture, history etc IS important.

[drydell]

plus... could anyone seriously accept a notion like that you cannot be friends with any person more than a couple of years older or younger than yourself?

That's the logical consequence of 'assimilation' or trying to be as Korean as a Korean.

[eamo]

[nathanrutledge]

[winterfall]

Im a gyopo (Foreign-born and raised Ethnic Korean) and assimilated 'relatively' well. I share customs, geneology, some language, and the work ethic that borders on self flagaration. But I don't share their ridicoulous emphasis on Chemyeong (Face / Staus), and incomprehensible pride.

Because of nuances like that I can never be "Korean". Assimilation or trying to be Korean doesn't depend on you. Even if you'v gone the whole 9 miles. Whether or not you crossed 'over' depends on what other people think.

Hope this helps.

[djsmnc]

I always use honorifics and grovel before older people. I drink soju at least three nights per week with ajosshis and speak unkindly of other foreigners. Then we sing in the noraebang.

[Yaya]

Being yourself is underrated in Korea. Though it's not wise to be rude, declining drinks by citing health is perfectly acceptable and telling someone exactly why you won't do a job is, too.

In contrast to what people might think, being a gyopo often leads to this dilemma: Koreans expect you to act Korean yet don't accept you as such. I learned this the hard way but I did learn.

[Who's Your Daddy?]

[oldtactics]

I think most of the mocking is directed towards a few specific foreigners who have been here for forever and choose to wear hanboks during their daily life and whatnot.

I don't think there's anything wrong with the fact that my Korean friends and I go out for Korean food or makolli - I'm not trying to be one of them, I'm just enjoying Korea.

[PatrickGHBusan]