Korean Job Discussion Forums

[nev]

During Christmas and kindergarten graduation, the female Korean teachers lined up the many children to sit on my lap and have photos taken - they insisted. The only reason I initially thought "This is strange" is because of my previous 25 years living in an increasingly paranoid Western nation.

Kids, especially young, need physical contact, both in affection and in punishment. I suppose you always need to know where to draw the line, but it should really just be instinctive. I teach gym lessons and the kids love it when I pick them up and whirl them about.

Koreans thankfully lack the Western paranoia that labels all men who like children and paedophiles.

[Skywalker26]

I've been here for nearly five years and found that physical contact with the kids is a must. I totally agree with the fact is that "boundaries must be enforced". The admin staff have encourged handling the students, requested it even.

Of course this is hugs, horse-play etc. I have my own limits.

I once got into an argument with my boss because I refused to help a student who 'had an accident' in his pants undress, clean up and change. He couldn't understand why I would feel uncomfortable doing it.

At a different school I was ordered to help the kids wash and change after a swimming lesson...I flat out refused...and again I a felt the weight of the boss and her cronies.

I don't mind playing with the kids, and NEVER have physical contact with a kid who doesn't want to be played with...it's a tough call sometimes, but at the end of the day it's YOU, not the kids, not the parents, not the other teachers (Korean or foriegn) who can tell you how to behave.

It's not about being paranoid, its just how comfortable YOU feel being around the kids. If you spend all the time worrying about your behaviour and thinking about how you should act, then you are not going to enjoy working here.

Remember this: Any kindergarten kid who wants to be played with, should be shown affection. Any student who is taller than your waist then I would think about physical contact and how appropriate it is.

But that's just me!

[rapier]

When my kindergarten kids run up to me for hugs and to sit on my lap in the office, I kinda cold shoulder them a bit because all the staff are looking. But maybe they're just thinking "why doesn't he hug them? Doesn't he like kids?".
Who knows.

[Manner of Speaking]

Pedophilia may be a culture-bound syndrome.

[Medic]

I was teaching at a homeschool programe for a while, and at one of the homes I had to visit the married teacher introduces me to her students as her boyfriend( all jokingly of course). After she does this though a few of the girls put their arms around me from behind, and lean all over my back. They were elementary school girls, so I considered it to be nice and innocent on their part and didn't think anything of it. Got to be a little draining after awhile, but it helped her with her lesson.

I haven't forgotten this, and I'm wondering if this is an extension of their early childhood behaviour or perhaps a need for closeness that they don't get at home. Maybe they felt comfortable with the fact that the teacher could joke about me in boyfriend terms, and so were able to relax and lean all over me. Or is it contact thing that they have with Korean teachers, but would also like to have with foreigners, but can't because they don't know how.

[Falstaff]

Spliff, sorry if I confused you.

My point, allbeit convoluted, was this. Middle school students are so varied developmentally that what can be appropriate with one can be grossly inappropriate with another. Also consider that at this point in adolescent development children begin to read ulterior motives into actions. So while one child may feel that a hug is just a hug, another child may see that as something more.

I'm sure that if you've taught long enough, you realize that students can develop crushes on teachers. And because children this age do not always know how to express themselves appropriately, a student/teacher crush can sometimes lead to some awkward class situations.

[spliff]

Very true Falstaff...if an adult develops a crush on the teacher they can just invite him/her to a love hotel and sort it out. Bit different w/ kids though, init?!

[TJ]

[Toby]

[Mr. Pink]

[djsmnc]

I used to do a great Michael Jackson impersonation for the kids!

[Toby]

[Clutch Cargo]

[schwa]

I teach 2nd-year middleschool girls (36 to a class) & came to a classroom last thursday, they were scrawling stuff all over the chalkboard & scurried to their desks as we arrived. My co-teacher was all set to scold them till we saw what they'd done. Flowers, hearts, 'we love you,' etc & a hilariously accurate caricature of me. How touching is that? I'm by no means a superteacher (& old & ugly to boot) but theres a lot of mutual affection. No way I cant touch these girls -- a shoulder squeeze, a hand on the back -- they'd be disappointed if I didnt. If your heart's in the right place, no worries. Korea's nice that way.

[coolsage]