Korean Job Discussion Forums

[mararowan]

Hi,
I'm sure this has been asked a milllion times but am very concerned about the possibility of lonliness and isolation as a single female coming to s. korea to teach esl. I make friends very easily but I am very afraid of feeling extra lonely and isolated in a totally foreign culture. So just wondering if this is really the case or just worrying too much. Thanks!!!

[nomad-ish]

it depends on where you are in south korea. i think if you're in seoul or busan you shouldn't have any problems, especially if you make friends easily. it just might take some time to get settled with things.

[Steelrails]

If its really worrying you already then perhaps you are, how shall we say, "at risk" for such things.

How do you overcome this? Before you even get here focus on how you are going to have a good time. Build the anticipation for things that interest you that you plan to do here. Look not at this time away from what and who you know as a potential problem but as a potential opportunity. Even look at the possibility of being lonely as an opportunity- a year spent in solo work bettering yourself- creative projects, music, reading, exercise, crafts & engineering, writing, exploring the natural sciences and the world around you, that sort of thing.

And if you do end up making friends and immersing yourself in the local culture you'll have plenty of experiences eating, sightseeing, learning, making things, meeting new people, fun times, playing sports, helping children, learning a language, expanding your view of the world and so on and son.

In other words if you go in with a lemonade out of lemons mindset you can't lose.

[sirius black]

Previous posts hit it on the head to a large extent. Its partially dependent on where you live. However, even in big cities there are tons of lonely teachers because they haven't done anything to address it. They are either shy, socially awkward, etc.

Even if you meet people you do spend a lot of time on your own. you really must enjoy your own company to some extent. Unlike in our own countries where everyone looks and talks like us, you will be in a neighborhood where just about everyone looks differently and can not communicate with you as well as the cultural differences.

That said you can prepare the way ahead of time by seeking out groups. Most cities have a Facebook group for that city and if you extend a hand someone usually will meet up with you and introduce you around. Its always easier to go to a foreigner bar with someone who can introduce you instead of you just introducing yourself.

Even if you do meet tons of people there will be moments you will be homesick and miss family and friends. Its only natural. Many of us had the same experiences if we went to a university far from home.

[fugitive chicken]

[Louis VI]

Is it your first time living by yourself since college?

Many confuse the loneliness they feel in living alone with living in Korea. There are isolation and integration issues with living abroad in a foreign culture, but there are also typical stage of life processes at work.

In other words, living by yourself in Korea can help you grow up. The feelings one has initially of loneliness is natural and overcome by adapting to the situation and developing social habits like reaching out and making oneself meet others, go to events, step outside one's comfort zone. When young we have a circle of family and friends, in college we have classmates and roommates. If you haven't lived by yourself, realize you have to adapt to that situation in and of itself, whether that may be in New York, London, Toronto or Seoul.

[Ruthdes]

This is all good advice, but I want to add one thing that hasn't been mentioned. Almost all expats will be in the same situation as you: without family ever, and without friends (at least when they arrive). In some ways, the friends I have made here are closer to me than my friends in Australia, because I rely on them to fill that gap that my family was previously in. I had no trouble making friends, and continue to do so as I meet new people. I now have friends from all over the English speaking world, and a handful from other countries too. The friends I have made here are one of the best things about this place. Good luck!

[noky]

I'd also like to note that you shouldn't be worried about being alone if you're not in Seoul or Busan. People from the smaller cities and sometimes towns have little problem befriending a local foreigner or two.

That aside, you've been given great advice. Go with a positive mindset and use the chance to grow up a little.

My trick is finding things I enjoy to do by myself so if the worst case ever happens I'm busy with being productive or some form of solo-entertainment (games/books/movies/etc.). It hasn't been a problem so far though.

[nstick13]

A couple articles about "culture shock" that are linked to throughout this forum highlight finding a routine and busying yourself. Many of the above activities are excellent ways to do so, and open up opportunities for others mentioned above. I've joined a gym in the past couple weeks, and already made a couple friends I regularly see there (some I wish I didn't--a little too pushy with Jesus.)

It also automatically plans some of my evening after school, meaning I don't have to go home and sit by myself. I do wish I could add Korean classes, though. Tough in Chungju.

[brento1138]

You have to tell us where you plan on living.

It all depends on that.

[thomas pars]

you could try having sex.

[Who's Your Daddy?]

I don't know any long-time female teachers here. I know quite a few guys.

[Stalin84]

[rosetintedwanderlust]

As a single female that just moved here less than a month ago I will say that making friends is pretty easy and I haven't been lonely yet. I made 2 friends online before I came through this website actually and have met lots of people since I got here. Other places I've met and made friends have been in the subway, in a coffee shop, on a GEPIK cultural field trip, in a foreigner bar, through my city's facebook group, in my apartment (lots of other foreigners live in my building), etc.

Luckily I live in a great location (Bundang near Yatap station) with many other foreigners in my area. I'm also really impressed with how many Koreans I've met that speak really good English. Almost every time I have needed help someone would either see me looking confused and come over or I would ask someone and they could understand me and help. So my experience so far has been great.

[youtuber]

There is no doubt that men adjust better than women do in Korea. There are way more men lifers than female.

Once women are not so young and not so pretty anymore, they are quickly disregarded.

The men stay here so long only because of the k women. It sure aint for the "culture".