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Koveras
Joined: 09 Oct 2008
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Posted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 1:07 pm Post subject: Editing someone's (real, actual) business proposal |
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This guy is a piece of work. I want to save a few special pearls for posterity, before deleting them from the proposal:
"As a result of a series of discussions between X, Y, and Z, we have decided to develop a pilot project that focuses on helping Aboriginal women better understand eBusiness and how they can integrate an eBusiness channel into their business ideas and/or existing businesses to increase their markets and increase their economic wealth and that of their respective communities. Both companies and Z want both potential and existing Aboriginal women entrepreneurs to succeed not only in the physical market place but also in the virtual market place as well.
[. . . .]
X can potentially provide corporate assets and subject matter experts (SMEs). This can be determined in discussion regarding X's involvement. However, Y desires that X lends it support to help them develop appropriate SME support to develop materials and support Z in developing their content. In addition, Y hopes that X may be in position to offset some of the seminar cost associated with development of the pilot project."
I have 18 pages more pages to edit. |
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Koveras
Joined: 09 Oct 2008
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Posted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 1:27 pm Post subject: |
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What cracks me up is that he'll use all this convoluted business jargon, then suddenly refer to "the cash". |
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Koveras
Joined: 09 Oct 2008
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Posted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 1:44 pm Post subject: |
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And the way he'll begin a sentence with "In addition," and then write something unrelated to the preceding sentence. |
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tfunk

Joined: 12 Aug 2006 Location: Dublin, Ireland
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