| View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
Underwaterbob
Joined: 08 Jan 2005
Location: In Cognito
|
 Posted: Sun Dec 12, 2010 4:57 pm Post subject: |
 |
|
| Capo wrote: |
| just check her cyworld page she is bound to have old pictures on there |
Those would have been the first to go. You underestimate a surgeried Korean woman's meticulousness. Like someone else suggested, the parents are the most likely source of pre-op pics. |
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
Who's Your Daddy?
Joined: 30 May 2010
Location: Victoria, Canada.
|
| Posted: Sun Dec 12, 2010 5:18 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| You have to visit her house. Then get the mother to show you photo albums. But maybe she used to be fat? |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Panda
Joined: 25 Oct 2008
|
| Posted: Sun Dec 12, 2010 5:21 pm Post subject: |
|
|
the double eyelid surgery is extremely common, high school girls would get one (maybe some other surgery) during the last winter vacation before they go to university.
I dont think its a big deal, its like a dental job or a laser getting rid of a mole.
To OP, ask your gf to show something else to you (e.g. Xmas cards or gifts she got etc), if she was defensive as well, probably you are just dating a defensive girl, if she felt ok showing you almost everything else, she probably had one of those surgeries. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
AsiaESLbound
Joined: 07 Jan 2010
Location: Truck Stop Missouri
|
| Posted: Sun Dec 12, 2010 5:27 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| That's amazing how much different they look after the eyelid surgery. I seen a Korean on a bus TV Saturday night with the eyelid fold to make those eyes round along with bright banana blond hair and wondered for the first moment if she was a Westerner starring on a Korean show. Her body language and behavior quickly answered that question for me. Seems she'd be too insecure to talk about trying to be someone she's not. Ah well, it's more about having the freedom to be your own person rather than fitting into a stereotype mold. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
vDroop
Joined: 25 Aug 2010
|
| Posted: Sun Dec 12, 2010 5:48 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| lakeshow wrote: |
| If she's anything like my gf, she's probably very self-conscious and the fact that you keep probing her to find out is why she gets on the defensive |
This.
It's even more strange for you to be pushing her to see childhood photos. Cosmetic surgery for the eyes is very popular in Korea. Perhaps she is embarrassed to tell you. Just assume she did and forget it.. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
madtownhustl
Joined: 04 Jun 2009
|
| Posted: Sun Dec 12, 2010 7:47 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Dont understand why everyone is blowin up!
my girl has the same thing, barely noticeable.. only when she sleeps.
she said she's never had surgery before tho... |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
devers
Joined: 09 Dec 2010
|
| Posted: Sun Dec 12, 2010 8:52 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Panda: she will show me absolutely anything, except for her old photos. Weird, hey?
Capo: Nothing pre-2005 on her Cyworld page.
conrad2: She's from a wealthy family and definitely has photos from her childhood circa 1990 - 1999.
Vdroop, lakeshow: I've mentioned it literally 3 times in one year. I certainly don't 'push' or 'prod'. The only reason I'm posting this now is because it happened the third time yesterday, and I realized something was not right.
Refusing to disclose childhood photos is not normal. My friggin grandmother will someday casually and politely ask to see my gf's childhood photos, then what will she say? I don't care if she had 쌍꺼풀 수술, which is fairly normal. I care that she's willing to hide her high school and disneyland vaca photos apparently forever. This is simply insane to the point that a relationship cannot function normally, and I'm calling her on it.
I would respect my gf unconditionally if she said: "Yes, you can see my old photos. I had surgery in 2004, so I look different. Please don't tell anyone." <-- This is what a sensible, trusting woman would say.
I understand that Korean girls are very insecure regarding their appearance, as being 'beautiful' is a central pillar of Korean success, attracting a wealthy mate, etc. But we often talk about getting married, for gawd's sakes. We're close. This is a trust issue. Maybe a power issue. And I'm going to win.
| vDroop wrote: |
Cosmetic surgery for the eyes is very popular in Korea. Perhaps she is embarrassed to tell you. Just assume she did and forget it.. |
She shouldn't be embarassed. We share absolutely everything. Does our line of trust end at the most vain and mundane of subjects: 쌍꺼풀? A dark, untrusting side of her personality has been revealed. I will show her aboslutely anything she wants, and I expect her to do the same.
I'm going to broach the 'photo situation' with her mother when I visit the gf tomorrow. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
liveinkorea316
Joined: 20 Aug 2010
Location: South Korea
|
| Posted: Sun Dec 12, 2010 9:13 pm Post subject: |
|
|
It's like the guy who quickly runs into the bathroom and then you hear a flushing sound...like the scenes in the movies when the police enter a bar or house...
Which person do you think the police are gonna shake down? the people who acted normally? Or the one who acted like they have something to hide?
When the OP asked about the photos his gf quickly "ran to the proverbial toilet and flushed something". In other words, her actions were suspicious - enough for a partner in a relationship to want to get to the bottom of the situation.
It is a natural human instinct and will annoy the )&*^% out of anybody. Just try it:
1. Go up to someone and say "I head something really bad about you..." but I am not gonna tell you. OR say to a girl that you are interested in "I have something really important I want to tell you" and then don't tell her. Wait and the person you said that to will go mad wanting an answer.
2. In front of younger children you know pretend you have something behind your back. Watch them wrestle until they can get at it.
In all cases it has nothing to do with WHAT was being concealed but the fact that it WAS being concealed. It drives anyone mad. Including me. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
diver
Joined: 16 Jun 2003
|
| Posted: Sun Dec 12, 2010 9:25 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| devers wrote: |
I would respect my gf unconditionally if she said: "Yes, you can see my old photos. I had surgery in 2004, so I look different. Please don't tell anyone." <-- This is what a sensible, trusting woman would say.
I'm going to broach the 'photo situation' with her mother when I visit the gf tomorrow. |
You talk about trust and then you announce that you are going to go behind her back in order to try and see photos she doesn't want you to see?
Do you think she might be having a conversation with HER friends that goes something like this:
I would respect my boyfriend unconditionally if he said: "Okay. You don't have to show them to me if it means that much to you" <-- This is what a sensible, trusting man would say.
You just brought the whole thing to a public message board. You asked for advice as to how best to do something she has asked you not to do.
And you're talking about trust? |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
liveinkorea316
Joined: 20 Aug 2010
Location: South Korea
|
| Posted: Sun Dec 12, 2010 9:50 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| diver wrote: |
| devers wrote: |
I would respect my gf unconditionally if she said: "Yes, you can see my old photos. I had surgery in 2004, so I look different. Please don't tell anyone." <-- This is what a sensible, trusting woman would say.
I'm going to broach the 'photo situation' with her mother when I visit the gf tomorrow. |
You talk about trust and then you announce that you are going to go behind her back in order to try and see photos she doesn't want you to see?
Do you think she might be having a conversation with HER friends that goes something like this:
I would respect my boyfriend unconditionally if he said: "Okay. You don't have to show them to me if it means that much to you" <-- This is what a sensible, trusting man would say.
You just brought the whole thing to a public message board. You asked for advice as to how best to do something she has asked you not to do.
And you're talking about trust? |
Problem is though that if we follow your advice the OP is back to square one - with a girlfriend acting suspiciously about her photos. Therefore there is ALREADY a loss of trust in the relationship as a result of her actions not his. There is nothing wrong with asking to see someones childhood photos. It is perfectly normal in a relationship to want to know more about someone's history and their experiences.
This issue will not rest in the mind of the OP until he can find out why she won't show him the photos. He doesn't necessarily need to see them - he just wants to know WHY she acted the way she did. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
nero
Joined: 11 Mar 2009
|
| Posted: Sun Dec 12, 2010 11:35 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Op's girlfriend is 'Standing Fan'. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
BoholDiver
Joined: 03 Oct 2009
Location: Canada
|
| Posted: Sun Dec 12, 2010 11:38 pm Post subject: |
|
|
The answer is yes.
If not surgery, then that tape. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
diver
Joined: 16 Jun 2003
|
| Posted: Mon Dec 13, 2010 1:01 am Post subject: |
|
|
| liveinkorea316 wrote: |
| diver wrote: |
| devers wrote: |
I would respect my gf unconditionally if she said: "Yes, you can see my old photos. I had surgery in 2004, so I look different. Please don't tell anyone." <-- This is what a sensible, trusting woman would say.
I'm going to broach the 'photo situation' with her mother when I visit the gf tomorrow. |
You talk about trust and then you announce that you are going to go behind her back in order to try and see photos she doesn't want you to see?
Do you think she might be having a conversation with HER friends that goes something like this:
I would respect my boyfriend unconditionally if he said: "Okay. You don't have to show them to me if it means that much to you" <-- This is what a sensible, trusting man would say.
You just brought the whole thing to a public message board. You asked for advice as to how best to do something she has asked you not to do.
And you're talking about trust? |
Problem is though that if we follow your advice the OP is back to square one - with a girlfriend acting suspiciously about her photos. Therefore there is ALREADY a loss of trust in the relationship as a result of her actions not his. There is nothing wrong with asking to see someones childhood photos. It is perfectly normal in a relationship to want to know more about someone's history and their experiences.
This issue will not rest in the mind of the OP until he can find out why she won't show him the photos. He doesn't necessarily need to see them - he just wants to know WHY she acted the way she did. |
I think it's normal to want to see the pics. What is not normal is his obsession with them. She doesn't want to show them. It's her choice. The trust issues are his- not hers. HE doesn't trust HER.
Anyway, now I'm interested to know what he will do with the info if he gets it. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Illysook
Joined: 30 Jun 2008
|
| Posted: Mon Dec 13, 2010 1:44 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Give the guy a break, he sounds kinda romantic and maybe he wants to know what his children might look like! |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
red_devil
Joined: 30 Jun 2008
Location: Korea
|
| Posted: Mon Dec 13, 2010 5:41 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Isn't it normal for all girls regardless of race to not want to show old plain photos of themselves? It's like being seen naked or without make up...to me sounds a bit hypocritical to say you love her the way she is and don't care if she's had surgery yet you, OP, make a post on Dave's about it and you keep insisting that she's hiding something. Who are you trying to convince really? The whole "not a secret between us" thing might be valid if you were married. But just dating? Come on, you're either naive or stupid. ALWAYS hide some secrets from girls you're dating. Never show all your cards at once. Common sense dude! |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
FAQ
Search
Memberlist
Usergroups
Register
Profile
Log in to check your private messages
Log in
