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cragesmure
Joined: 23 Oct 2010
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 Posted: Tue Jan 25, 2011 8:47 am Post subject: |
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Two eggs are boiling away in a saucepan. One turns to the other and says, "Geez it's hot in here."
The other replies, "Oh my God!! A talking egg!!" |
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Globutron
Joined: 13 Feb 2010
Location: England/Anyang
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| Posted: Tue Jan 25, 2011 9:12 am Post subject: |
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| A fish swims into a wall. 'Dam!' |
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rumdiary
Joined: 05 Jun 2006
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| Posted: Tue Jan 25, 2011 10:25 am Post subject: |
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What did 0 say to 8?
"Nice Belt" |
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rumdiary
Joined: 05 Jun 2006
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| Posted: Tue Jan 25, 2011 10:26 am Post subject: |
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| Panda wrote: |
| Globutron wrote: |
| Jeeze, I was only joking. |
You are not funny, because its true I cant O....I am going to cry now. |
Why does Panda fake orgasms?
Because she thinks Loveless cares. |
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loveless
Joined: 27 Jul 2010
Location: love is a danger of a different kind...
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| Posted: Tue Jan 25, 2011 7:18 pm Post subject: |
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panda and a few of her friends are at pizzeria. the waitress asks panda: 'what size of pizza do you want?' panda replies: 'a large-ah pizza, please.' the waitress asks: 'and, how many slices would like that cut into? 6 or 8 slices?' panda replies: 'ahh 6. we're not hungry enough to eat 8 slices.'  |
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jrwhite82
Joined: 22 May 2010
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| Posted: Tue Jan 25, 2011 9:46 pm Post subject: |
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| interestedinhanguk wrote: |
| A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" |
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow! Sarah Jessica Parker in my bar! Drinks on the house!" |
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Yahowho
Joined: 21 Jan 2010
Location: Beside the McDonalds
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| Posted: Tue Jan 25, 2011 10:38 pm Post subject: |
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A Bra & a Battery go into a pub.
The Bra goes up to the bar & orders some drinks but the barman says, "No, you're not getting served."
"Why not?" asks the bra.
The barman says, "Well you're obviously off your t�ts & he looks like he's gonna start something." |
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murmanjake
Joined: 21 Oct 2008
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| Posted: Tue Jan 25, 2011 11:12 pm Post subject: |
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| rumdiary wrote: |
What did 0 say to 8?
"Nice Belt" |
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
'Cause 7 8 9. |
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loveless
Joined: 27 Jul 2010
Location: love is a danger of a different kind...
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| Posted: Wed Jan 26, 2011 5:07 am Post subject: |
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a well dressed business man was walking down the street when a little kid covered in soot said to him respectfully, 'sir, can you tell me the time?' the man stopped, carefully unbuttoned his coat, removed a large watch from a vest pocket, looked at it and said, 'it is a quarter to three, young man.'
'thanks,' said the boy. 'at exactly three o'clock you can kiss my ass.' with that, the kid took off running and laughing out loud. with an angry cry, the outraged business man started chasing him. the boy ran quickly laughing and taunting yelling, 'at three kiss my ass...haha, three kiss my ass old-timer! ahhaha...catch me and kiss my butt at three old fart!' they had not been running long when an old friend of the business man stopped him.
'why are you running like this at your age?' asked the friend. gasping and almost incoherent with fury, the business man said, 'that little punk asked me the time and when i told him it was quarter to three he told me that at exactly three, i should kiss his ass!'
'so what's your hurry," said the friend. "you still have ten minutes.' |
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Jane
Joined: 01 Feb 2003
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| Posted: Wed Jan 26, 2011 4:01 pm Post subject: |
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| There are 3 kinds of people in this world: those who can count, and those who can't. |
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Eglayzer
Joined: 22 Feb 2009
Location: Gimhae-si, near Busan
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| Posted: Wed Jan 26, 2011 6:17 pm Post subject: |
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| Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks. |
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Eglayzer
Joined: 22 Feb 2009
Location: Gimhae-si, near Busan
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| Posted: Wed Jan 26, 2011 6:19 pm Post subject: |
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This was told to me by one of my co-workers.
Q: What is even better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics?
A: Not being retarded. |
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Panda
Joined: 25 Oct 2008
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| Posted: Wed Jan 26, 2011 7:07 pm Post subject: |
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| loveless wrote: |
| panda and a few of her friends are at pizzeria. the waitress asks panda: 'what size of pizza do you want?' panda replies: 'a large-ah pizza, please.' the waitress asks: 'and, how many slices would like that cut into? 6 or 8 slices?' panda replies: 'ahh 6. we're not hungry enough to eat 8 slices.' |
Actually after finishing the 6 slices, I kinda regretted I didn't ask for 8 slices, because I was still hungry, so I ordered another large-ah, and this time I asked them to cut it into 2 slices.
Here is mine:
One of loveless papa's favorite game is to put his D on a globe and say: Look, this is the biggest D in the world.
Oneday he plays it again but notices his wife is weeping: mama, why are you crying.
Loveless mama: honey, our baby boy told me last night he wanted good oral sex or a new 2011 Chevrolet Corvette Stingray as his Xmas gift. We can't afford the new 2011 Chevrolet Corvette Stingray...
Loveless papa: at least we still have an option~!! |
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rumdiary
Joined: 05 Jun 2006
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| Posted: Wed Jan 26, 2011 8:00 pm Post subject: |
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Why was Helen Keller such a bad driver?
Because she was a woman. |
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Panda
Joined: 25 Oct 2008
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| Posted: Wed Jan 26, 2011 9:01 pm Post subject: |
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| rumdiary wrote: |
Because she was a woman. |
I bet your mom is a good driver though, because she screwed your dad. |
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