Korean Job Discussion Forums

[happiness]

There are alot more intl marriages now, but I also guess there are alot more intl divorces as well, and not just the korean farmer/se asian families. I especially wonder if the SENSE OF HUMOR is similar, since I have heard many times this is very important for a good marriage...

Im just curious what people will say about themselves and others. All of my gf's here have had no clue about my hobbies and things I love to do (guitar, building things, woodwork), and casually, its been ok if they dont complain. But I wonder if these things are really big deals in other peoples relationships.

[redaxe]

My girlfriend (who I am going to propose to in a couple months) is a Chinese national who I met in Korea. She and I are from very different cultural backgrounds but we both have a very good understanding of each others' languages and cultures, and sense of humor is definitely something that we have in common. We are always making each other laugh, and it's not just over superficial things either. We really do "get" each other. Even though she's from a different country I connect with her on a level I haven't with any other girl, even girls from my hometown.

I majored in Chinese, have lived in China, and can read novels and watch movies (w/o subtitles) in Chinese, so it helps that we can communicate extremely fluently and there is almost no language barrier to speak of. If one of us doesn't know how a word in one language, we just code-switch to the other language and at least 9/10 we know it. If not, we just explain it to each other. We're basically a fully bilingual couple.

We can joke about everything, she is not sensitive. If I make a joke about Chinese people she will laugh and sling a joke about white people or Americans right back at me. The only thing we can't really joke about is obscure or historical pop culture references, but I don't think that's too important and I can joke about that stuff with my guy friends anytime, so I don't feel like I'm deprived of it or anything.

She is also very supportive of my hobbies. I played guitar in a band in Korea and she went to watch and cheer for me at a lot of my shows.

FWIW I dated several Korean girls and didn't connect with any of them even close to this well. My Korean wasn't good enough, and our cultures were too different. Personally, I really can't imagine marrying a woman whose native language I don't speak fluently.

[gypsymaria]

My boyfriend and I are similar enough in appearance (hair/eye/skin color, both wear glasses) that we've been mistaken for siblings. We share a lot of similar interests and humor, too. Yet our personalities are different enough, and complement each other very well, so we're not like carbon copies or anything.

I think it all depends on the chemistry, not necessarily how similar you are. I've known some drastically different people who just WORK as a couple, despite their differences, or maybe because of them. I've found the best relationships are built on mutual respect, trust, open communication, and a willingness to let the little things slide. YMMV.

[nero]

We are so similar we are practically the same person. Actually, truth be told, we ARE the same person.

[tomstar86]

Extremely similar, it's actually kind of scary. But, it's good similar. It means we have a lot to talk about, and know where the other person is coming from.

He's Korean, I'm from the UK, but our views on lots of things are the same and thankfully there isn't the dreaded "culture clash" (unlike with other Koreans I've dated).

Tom

http://waegook-tom.com