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when to bow?
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DanseurVertical



Joined: 24 Nov 2010

PostPosted: Wed Feb 16, 2011 1:55 am    Post subject: when to bow? Reply with quote

I'll be moving to Korea in 2 - 3 weeks. As a Buddhist practitioner I'm somewhat accustomed to bowing in particular contexts, social or otherwise.

However, I don't know how common this is anymore in mainstream Korean society. I want to show respect, but at the same time, I don't want to show misunderstanding of contemporary Korean customs.

So, when to bow? When not to bow?
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sadguy



Joined: 13 Feb 2011

PostPosted: Wed Feb 16, 2011 2:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

this is a funny question.

just bow, you'll bow everywhere in school. everytime you see a teacher in the hallway you'll bow. it's not even really a bow, it' s more like a head nod.
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oldtactics



Joined: 18 Oct 2008

PostPosted: Wed Feb 16, 2011 2:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Full bow is mostly optional, no one really does that except during ceremonies.
Half bow + handshake when meeting new people or dealing with supervisors.
Head nod to everyone else, everywhere.
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fugitive chicken



Joined: 20 Apr 2010
Location: Bucheon

PostPosted: Wed Feb 16, 2011 2:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I bow pretty much all the time. Generally the older they are, the deeper your bow is. You're also not supposed to do it to anyone younger than you though. I made that mistake a few times when I was new.
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Cedar



Joined: 11 Mar 2003
Location: In front of my computer, again.

PostPosted: Wed Feb 16, 2011 3:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Depth of bow is based on which meeting (first ever, first for the day, when important conversation is about to happen or just finished) and who the person is relative to you (your ultimate boss, your immediate supervisor, your equal, someone lower in status than you)

bowing should be from the middle of the back when being respectful, just upper vertebrae (almost head nods, but only foreigners seem to make the mistake of not incorporating the vertebrae) are between equals, friends, or people who are close to equals that you've already more formally bowed to earlier in the day.

I would hazard a guess that just like 90% of the people on this board don't understand Korean culture in more than a superficial way in other regards, they also don't understand bowing well-- and they are surrounded in their workplace by people who are used to foreigners screwing it up, unless they work in a university or school (not hagwon) where there is more formality when you run into department chairs, deans, principals and so on. In most cases of foreigners on this board they probably already have some co-workers or boss who (without realizing why they think this) think the foreigner is just a bit rude, because of the bow and other small etiquette issues being handled wrong, Korean culturally speaking.

So, when you come, very first meeting, bow deep to that boss (get close to 90%) and do NOT come back up immediately. A real bow should be held for a count of three in a formal situation. After that, take a good cue from your KOREAN co-workers (some of the younger ones may have crap etiquette, however). Make the first bow of the day to everyone bow-worthy more pronounced, deeper depending on your relative status, and after you've been scolded by the boss, or after you've asked a favor of the boss, before you leave the room, make sure you do a darn good bow.

Do not bow to young students, but if you have college kids or business men, at the first class, after you introduce yourself, bow. It is not necessary after that if you are the teacher and they are the student, but if they are otherwise of higher status than you (like if they're a CFO who happens to want to brush up on English at your hagwon) I'd bow very well every time because even though you're the teacher, in every other way the CFO has higher status than you do.

Both hands at the side during the bow is a Japanese style that was forced on Koreans and is still widely practiced, more traditionally minded Koreans will bow with both hands below the bellybutton folded over each other (right on top for women, left on top for men).

All clear?
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Cedar



Joined: 11 Mar 2003
Location: In front of my computer, again.

PostPosted: Wed Feb 16, 2011 3:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

oldtactics wrote:
Full bow is mostly optional, no one really does that except during ceremonies.
Half bow + handshake when meeting new people or dealing with supervisors.
Head nod to everyone else, everywhere.


Do you know what a full bow is? Can you execute one? Do you know how many types there are, which to use, and how many to do depending on the situations? Because you do realize they require kneeling or sitting and then lowering the head almost to the floor or to the floor depending on the situation, right? But you're right, the full bow really does only happen during ceremonies and on special occasions (saying good-bye to a long time teacher before leaving the country, meeting your future in-laws for the first time, at the funeral ceremony, etc.)
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eamo



Joined: 08 Mar 2003
Location: Shepherd's Bush, 1964.

PostPosted: Wed Feb 16, 2011 3:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

^ rubbish.

We're from non-bowing cultures. Koreans know that. IMO, foreigners doing deep bows look ridiculous. Koreans expect to greet foreigners with a smile and a firm handshake. Doing a deep bow would be disconcerting for them.

A nicely toned 'annyonghasayo' combined with a head nod is ample respect to a boss or important elder.

The only time I've ever deep-bowed in my 10 years in Korea is to my Korean parents-in-law at Chuseok and Seollal.

Living as an expat does not mean you have to do exactly what the locals do.
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oldtactics



Joined: 18 Oct 2008

PostPosted: Wed Feb 16, 2011 3:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Cedar wrote:

Do you know what a full bow is? Can you execute one? Do you know how many types there are, which to use, and how many to do depending on the situations?


Why are you attacking me if you're agreeing with me that the full bow isn't used often, certainly not by foreigners? A new expat certainly wouldn't be expected to perform any sort of full bow, and that's what I was trying to re-assure the OP. Thanks for your illuminating advice?
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willteachforfood



Joined: 24 Jan 2011

PostPosted: Wed Feb 16, 2011 3:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

eamo wrote:
^ rubbish.

We're from non-bowing cultures. Koreans know that. IMO, foreigners doing deep bows look ridiculous. Koreans expect to greet foreigners with a smile and a firm handshake. Doing a deep bow would be disconcerting for them.

A nicely toned 'annyonghasayo' combined with a head nod is ample respect to a boss or important elder.

The only time I've ever deep-bowed in my 10 years in Korea is to my Korean parents-in-law at Chuseok and Seollal.

Living as an expat does not mean you have to do exactly what the locals do.


+1

I never bow...neither deeply, nor shallowly. I am not Korean, end of equation.

OP....I think that as a Buddhist practitioner you may end up being very disappointed with your whole "come to Korea and enlighten yourself" experience. Even the monks in Korea have cell phones.....I once saw a table of monks chowing down at Mr. Pizza.
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Binch Lover



Joined: 25 Jul 2005

PostPosted: Wed Feb 16, 2011 5:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

eamo wrote:
^ rubbish.

We're from non-bowing cultures. Koreans know that. IMO, foreigners doing deep bows look ridiculous. Koreans expect to greet foreigners with a smile and a firm handshake. Doing a deep bow would be disconcerting for them.

A nicely toned 'annyonghasayo' combined with a head nod is ample respect to a boss or important elder.

The only time I've ever deep-bowed in my 10 years in Korea is to my Korean parents-in-law at Chuseok and Seollal.

Living as an expat does not mean you have to do exactly what the locals do.


I don't really get this line of thinking. Obviously deep bowing is not common, but surely bowing in certain situations is appropriate.

Is it ridiculous for Koreans who live in the west to shake hands? Should they just bow instead if Westerners expected them to?
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PatrickGHBusan



Joined: 24 Jun 2008
Location: Busan (1997-2008) Canada 2008 -

PostPosted: Wed Feb 16, 2011 5:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Cedar that was a great post!

Well said and it is bar none the best advice/information on bowing you could get as a foreigner in Korea.

Eamo, nice rant but Cedar said the deep bow was only for ceremonies...so basically you agree but do so by being very angry. Laughing Wink

As for levels of politeness, to each his own but a little cultural understanding and effort goes a heck of a long way....
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eamo



Joined: 08 Mar 2003
Location: Shepherd's Bush, 1964.

PostPosted: Wed Feb 16, 2011 5:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Binch Lover wrote:
eamo wrote:
^ rubbish.

We're from non-bowing cultures. Koreans know that. IMO, foreigners doing deep bows look ridiculous. Koreans expect to greet foreigners with a smile and a firm handshake. Doing a deep bow would be disconcerting for them.

A nicely toned 'annyonghasayo' combined with a head nod is ample respect to a boss or important elder.

The only time I've ever deep-bowed in my 10 years in Korea is to my Korean parents-in-law at Chuseok and Seollal.

Living as an expat does not mean you have to do exactly what the locals do.


I don't really get this line of thinking. Obviously deep bowing is not common, but surely bowing in certain situations is appropriate.

Is it ridiculous for Koreans who live in the west to shake hands? Should they just bow instead if Westerners expected them to?


For reasons I'm not even sure of, the handshake has become the common currency in the East as well as the West. You'll see Korean men greet each other with a handshake and a small head bow.

But bowing has not been adopted in the west. Which East Asians are well aware of, so they don't bow when they travel there. That's just the way these things have worked out.

And, yes, you're right. It can be appropriate for a westerner to deep-bow in East Asia in certain circumstances. Personally, I reserve it for formal ceremonies where those taking part traditionally deep-bow.

Ah, Homer, no. I don't actually agree with Ceder. She said...

Quote:
So, when you come, very first meeting, bow deep to that boss (get close to 90%) and do NOT come back up immediately. A real bow should be held for a count of three in a formal situation. After that, take a good cue from your KOREAN co-workers (some of the younger ones may have crap etiquette, however). Make the first bow of the day to everyone bow-worthy more pronounced, deeper depending on your relative status, and after you've been scolded by the boss, or after you've asked a favor of the boss, before you leave the room, make sure you do a darn good bow.

Do not bow to young students, but if you have college kids or business men, at the first class, after you introduce yourself, bow. It is not necessary after that if you are the teacher and they are the student, but if they are otherwise of higher status than you (like if they're a CFO who happens to want to brush up on English at your hagwon) I'd bow very well every time because even though you're the teacher, in every other way the CFO has higher status than you do.


I would certainly not deep-bow at 90% for a count of three when meeting a new boss!! I'd say that would be very awkward and unexpected for all concerned.
Nor would a CFO get any special bowing from me.

I wonder if you did that to your new bosses, Homer?
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Vagabundo



Joined: 26 Aug 2010

PostPosted: Wed Feb 16, 2011 7:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I bow to everyone, I kind of get a kick out of it now (most of the time)

Don't care if they're younger or older, since I reject that nonsense anyways.

if I know them, and see them I'll bow.
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methdxman



Joined: 14 Sep 2010

PostPosted: Wed Feb 16, 2011 7:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

willteachforfood wrote:
eamo wrote:
^ rubbish.

We're from non-bowing cultures. Koreans know that. IMO, foreigners doing deep bows look ridiculous. Koreans expect to greet foreigners with a smile and a firm handshake. Doing a deep bow would be disconcerting for them.

A nicely toned 'annyonghasayo' combined with a head nod is ample respect to a boss or important elder.

The only time I've ever deep-bowed in my 10 years in Korea is to my Korean parents-in-law at Chuseok and Seollal.

Living as an expat does not mean you have to do exactly what the locals do.


+1

I never bow...neither deeply, nor shallowly. I am not Korean, end of equation.

OP....I think that as a Buddhist practitioner you may end up being very disappointed with your whole "come to Korea and enlighten yourself" experience. Even the monks in Korea have cell phones.....I once saw a table of monks chowing down at Mr. Pizza.


First impressions are vital in the world we live in. Doing a nice, appropriate bow the first couple of times you meet someone will do wonders. You can do pretty much anything after that but they'll always remember the first bow.
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interestedinhanguk



Joined: 23 Aug 2010

PostPosted: Wed Feb 16, 2011 8:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I bow. I've been bowed to by plenty of people here. Why shouldn't I do likewise?

BTW, I've observed Asians on more than one occasion bowing in the US, and that wasn't to other Asians. These weren't full-blown bows, but it they still did it nonetheless.
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