Korean Job Discussion Forums

[sadguy]

to quickly run through what happened.... i have a stamp policy in my class. students who bring their books, notebook and pen/pencil to class will get a stamp. some students lose their book, so they borrow their friends book. *I* think that's okay because at least they are coming prepared instead of coming to class empty handed so i still reward them with a stamp. my co teacher thinks differently, she thinks they should only get a stamp if they bring their own. i think it's more about making the effort. so, i gave a student a stamp even though he told me it wasn't his book. i thought "cool, he's being honest about it." my co teacher found out it wasn't his book. she then turned this into an argument in front of the class saying that i was spoiling the students and that he shouldn't get the stamp yada yada. i told her my points, saying that it's about the effort and that it's better to come to class with a book rather than coming in empty handed. i'm flexible so whatever, she doesn't want that student to have a stamp then ok. it's technically HER students. i just don't think we should be arguing in front of the kids.

anyway, we spoke after class and it got pretty heated. raised voices. her accusing me that i was judging her character and that's why she's upset. every time i tried to explain my point, she would interrupt me so i couldn't get my point across and when i told her to please hear me out, she said "i don't want to listen to you you are making me angry." i said "then how can we have a proper discussion?"

the bell rang and she walked off pissed as hell. i decided to write her a letter. talking to her doesn't work and i hope that she can see my point once she reads my letter but i'm afraid of coming across as condescending or arrogant. what do you guys think? there was another similar incident where we bickered in front of the students but i don't want to bore you guys with too many details but i might explain it later. anyway, here's the letter:





First off, I want to say that I respect you and I don�t want to make the workplace uncomfortable so I think it�s best that we are able to speak openly and honestly to each other. There is a communication problem and I want to resolve it in a professional manner.

After talking with you this morning, I get the sense that you think I am blaming you or faulting you for something and this is why you are angry. This is not true. I am not blaming you, nor am I trying to make you look like the bad guy, nor do I think you�re a bad person in any way. I understand your side. For me, this is not the issue that I am trying to discuss with you.

My concern is that, as two adults, we should not be getting into an argument in front of the students. If we disagree on a classroom policy, then we need to discuss it in a professional manner, and then perhaps come to an agreement or a compromise before acting out that policy. So next time if you have a problem with me, please pull me aside and tell me your concerns rather than arguing about it in front of the students. I think that is a bad message to send to the students when two of the school faculty members aren�t able to resolve their problems peacefully.

You got very angry with me when I mentioned yesterdays incident. You feel that I am bringing that up as a judgment to your character. This is not true. I brought that up because I feel that is another incident that could�ve been handled differently. Clearly there was a misunderstanding and we bickered about it in front of the student. I was unclear of what you wanted and instead of bickering in front of the class, we should have discussed it briefly away from the students.

I really want you to know that I am flexible and always willing to hear your side, but I feel like whenever we have a difference of opinion, I feel like you are quick to cut me off before fully hearing my side. I want us to be able to maintain a healthy relationship and still laugh and make jokes with each other, and I hope you feel the same way. I�m sorry we got into an argument this morning, I feel bad about it and want to resolve things peacefully.

[Fishead soup]

If you are going to use stamps as a reward they they should be reserved for things that are actually deserving of a reward. Students should bring their texts to all and every class. Rather than having a reward for bringing in your textbook there needs to be a punishment for not bringing in your textbook.

Students who don't bring their textbooks into class are trying to undermine your teaching ability. For example you plan an activity that is based in chapter three conversation one. You can't do the activity if you can't review the dialogue and you can't review the dialogue if half the students don't have their textbooks. It's no coincidence when half the students have left their text at home they are openly defying you and attempting to undermine your efforts. Seriously students aren't that absent minded particularly in Korean society where memory plays a much higher place in education.
Stamps should be reserved for actual situations where they are earned not used as damage control.

[southernman]

It's impressive that you're writing her a letter.

I had the full on argument with my co-teacher last month. She had also started things in the classroom, basically saying I was doing a crap job in front of the students). I let that slide until we had finsihed for the day.

We had a heated discussion with her saying I wasn't asking questions the correct way and my intonation was incorrect (the only one of about 24 co-teachers who has ever had a major problem with my classroom teaching )

Me returning fire saying she was a bad co-teacher (I informed her the last two NET's had written about her online and gave her the address to check it out on) and also pointing out that her classroom behaviour that morning was very unprofessional. I didn't write her a letter of apology but i did get her a nice bottle of Red wine the next day.

Things are way better now. I lead the class and she helps out with the translations. I honestly think she was just trying the power game. She was trying to use me as her whipping boy, like she had the last two NET's.

Ah, you have to love how some co-workers the world over really like to play the power game, to make up for their usually dismal and sad life. I've had the same thing happen from colleagues, after working for a govt dept back home. Sadly, I almost see it as part of the job.

Sooner or later you're going to be called out on something, you have always got to be prepared and return fire with fire when attacked by a workplace bully. Just like any bully once you stand up to them, they will move on to easier targets

[silkhighway]

I wouldn't give her a letter. She may only use it as ammunition against you.
Time and time this comes up but you are not there to be your co-teachers friend and they are not there to be your friend. SHe may have a very different agenda than your own.

Is there someone you can speak to that's a level between her and the VP? Like a department head? I would talk to them about in private and let them mediate.

[yfb]

Why are you giving them a stamp for doing what they should be doing anyways? Don't coddle the students. Be firm. No book = no stamp. Even better, have them paste their stamp sheet inside the book to reinforce the concept.

[RMNC]

Things like this are why I don't work in public school.

[sadguy]

i don't know why the focus is being shifted onto the stamps. the nature of dave's.

before i did the stamp thing, so many students would come in with no materials at all. or they'd bring one book and not the other. i don't use the book every week so i guess students thought they could get away without bringing one. now that i have the stamp system in place, it's no longer a problem.

and the stamp sheet IS taped inside their notebook or book. the student in question is a student i talk to after class because he's a high level student who took my winter camp class.

anyway, the teacher said she hates that particular student thats why she didn't want him to have one.

i gave her the letter. i walked in about 10 minutes ago and saw her reading it. she said "are you trying to make my life more difficult by writing a long letter?" we laughed, shook hands. she said she gets really defensive when she feels like her character is being judged. and we both apologized.

i purposely tried to write the letter in a way that she can't use it against me. i feel like it makes HER look like the one who over-reacted.

[conrad2]

Eff that noise. I would write a letter to the principal stating that your co teachers wants you to unjustly punish students who are up to par but who the co-teacher doesnt personally like. Write a letter to the student's parents as well.

Isnt it your "stamp" policy? Your policy-your rules. Have some back bone.

[matthews_world]

Good reason to waste 5 minutes of class I guess.

I'd another form of positive reinforcement such as promising a game or pop song if they bring their books the whole lesson. Don't just single out the good and bad students.

[Ramen]

op=0 : co-teacher=1

sorry op. you lose.

buy her some flower tomorrow and hope everything is ok.

[earthquakez]

I'll say this and hope I don't sound too judgemental - I think you're mostly in the wrong. Your Korean co teacher was trying to do the right thing and not take the path of least resistance by encouraging kids and their parents to be slack and treat the classes as if they don't have to think about the basics of participation.

It's about respect here - you have a good co teacher and you should have let her/him set the boundaries for your students that need to be set. Students and parents need to be reminded about rules so they can develop the respect that can be lacking in Korea for the person providing a service whether it's teaching or serving somebody in a shop.

You also came across as disrespectful to your co teacher and believe me, writing letters to make points clearer just makes Koreans more defensive. Try an apology and say you know the kids need boundaries and you will enforce her rules starting from now.

[sadguy]

[Ramen]

[Bibbitybop]

OP: You did the right thing. You made class fun, you are solving problems like students having no book, and you were given the freedom to make your own program. Enforce the rules of your program and tell the co-teacher to stop acting like a Korean woman.

[jonbowman88]

You seriously just need to let stupid little stuff that has little, to no consequence go. Who cares if you give them a stamp or not. If giving or taking away a little meaningless stamp makes your co teacher happy, do it. You really need to pick your battles more wisely. The co teacher obviously cares about stupid stuff, why should you as well?