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Do you make eye contact with other foreigners on the street?
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DBXD



Joined: 16 May 2011

PostPosted: Wed Jul 20, 2011 5:17 am    Post subject: Do you make eye contact with other foreigners on the street? Reply with quote

Do you see them as a foreigner "brother" or "sister" and have to say hello to them, or do you avoid them all together. I don't stare at them until they notice me, but if we so happen to notice each other, I'll smile and nod.
Sometimes I don't like seeing them because I feel like they're taking my next potential job and I wish they'd all go home lol.
Maybe that's what most feel, because I feel like a lot go out of their way to not look at you. Why is that? I know it's not me, because I'm as normal as they come.
And for some reason it's awkward when I'm out with my K gf and we see another foreigner/k gf couple. Don't know why that is either.
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highstreet



Joined: 13 Nov 2010

PostPosted: Wed Jul 20, 2011 6:03 am    Post subject: Re: Do you make eye contact with other foreigners on the str Reply with quote

DBXD wrote:
Do you see them as a foreigner "brother" or "sister" and have to say hello to them, or do you avoid them all together. I don't stare at them until they notice me, but if we so happen to notice each other, I'll smile and nod.
Sometimes I don't like seeing them because I feel like they're taking my next potential job and I wish they'd all go home lol.
Maybe that's what most feel, because I feel like a lot go out of their way to not look at you. Why is that? I know it's not me, because I'm as normal as they come.
And for some reason it's awkward when I'm out with my K gf and we see another foreigner/k gf couple. Don't know why that is either.


This is what happens when Charisma Man meets another Charisma Man
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jackson7



Joined: 01 Aug 2006
Location: Kim Jong Il's Future Fireball

PostPosted: Wed Jul 20, 2011 6:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Foreigners I've spoken too, and I as well, often have gone through some stages of culture shock which relates to this behavior. When I first arrived five years ago (also reported by others), I wanted to think of my time in Korea as my special little adventure away from those things foreign. I avoided Itaewon and McD's, didn't hang out with other foreigners, and instead spent my time dating K gals, drinking beer with K guys, and learning K language.

This lasts only so long for most, however, as there are some comforts that are just nice to have. This topic itself comes up quite often, as do threads regarding Itaewon. In the early years, we expats quite frequently swing from a all-or-nothing standpoints with regards to our host and home cultures. After several months (or years, in my case), one usually finds a comfort in oneself and at where one is in their professional and social life, which translates to very different attitudes and behaviors in another country.

I grew up on the west coast of the US, which means I smile and say hello to people on the street more often than my east coast counterparts (I've heard). When I first came to Korea I abandoned this practice for the reasons outlined above, but have come back to it now that I'm comfortable with who I am and what I've accomplished here in Korea.

Lastly, I'll just mention that the above is likely not generalizable, and is offered as a fuel for intro/retrospect. Foreigners are not all the same, nor are Koreans, thus trying to make sense of behaviors in such large terms can be dangerously misleading as well as frustratingly mind-boggling. Meet some nice folks, spend time with them, and don't worry about the underlying motivations for that chap on the street not returning your "hello." Save those thoughts for your PhD studies, and then please return and enlighten the lot of us.

J7
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northway



Joined: 05 Jul 2010

PostPosted: Wed Jul 20, 2011 6:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm one of those rude East Coasters. If I see someone in my neighborhood or in my building, I'll make eye contact and likely say hello. If I see someone in Seoul, not a chance in hell.
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ChrisLamp



Joined: 27 Jul 2010

PostPosted: Wed Jul 20, 2011 6:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

this is going to sound rude (because it is) and illogical (because it is) but it's how I feel and I feel like being honest. so here goes, flame away.

My girlfriend and I hate it here so much that we are of the opinion that anybody who would willfully come to live and work must be either
A) miserable
B) an idiot

in either case we probably don't want to know you. it's harsh, and its pretty lonely, but hey ten months down only two to go! after that bye!
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definitely maybe



Joined: 16 Feb 2008

PostPosted: Wed Jul 20, 2011 6:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

northway wrote:
I'm one of those rude East Coasters. If I see someone in my neighborhood or in my building, I'll make eye contact and likely say hello. If I see someone in Seoul, not a chance in hell.


Amen to that! I never thought it was rude as much as private.

Although I do throw folks a bone every now and again, but to be honest, I'm often too oblivious to notice foreigners around me. They're coming to my attention a bit more often these days because anyone white my kid sees gets a point and the exclamation, "Daddy's friend!" I think his grandma has had a hand in that.
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Bada_Bing



Joined: 25 May 2011

PostPosted: Wed Jul 20, 2011 7:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I understand it when in areas more highly populated with foreigners but it's comic when around my own area, where there seem to be relatively few foreigners, they make more of an effort to ignore rather than to just give a little nod. Rolling Eyes
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ssuprnova



Joined: 17 Dec 2010
Location: Saigon

PostPosted: Wed Jul 20, 2011 9:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

there are a lot of foreigners in my area, so it all depends on my mood...
sometimes I'll just walk without doing anything
other times I'll smile and nod
and sometimes, especially after work, I'll give them a wide grin and a salute

then again, whenever I'm in an area where there are very few foreigners I tend to grin, wave, and say 'annyeong (haseyo/hassimnika to older people)' to the Korean people staring at me. the way I see it - being friendly breaks down a lot of barriers and opens a lot of doors. I don't understand people like ChrisLamp -- if you assume everyone else is an idiot and act like that's true, then everyone will just treat you like an douchebag...
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travel zen



Joined: 22 Feb 2005
Location: Good old Toronto, Canada

PostPosted: Wed Jul 20, 2011 2:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I find that foreigners in Korea are way too snobby. They dont feel alone in a new world, or at civilizations end enough to appreciate other foreigners.

Live in a sea of chinese, with signs and people that only speak and know chinese, of endless, sprawling roads and no help, no McDonalds or pizza for miles in the wilderness.....then you would cry tears of love when you see a foreigner!
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blm



Joined: 11 Nov 2010

PostPosted: Wed Jul 20, 2011 3:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Bada_Bing wrote:
I understand it when in areas more highly populated with foreigners but it's comic when around my own area, where there seem to be relatively few foreigners, they make more of an effort to ignore rather than to just give a little nod. Rolling Eyes


I'm with you.

I can go a whole week with out seeing a Westerner so I expected to at least exchange nods when I see another westerner.

I have realised though that some people move in different circles (there is an army base not to far as well as a language institute with 11 waygookins) and actually see quite a lot of westerners during the week so it's not a special occasion for them.

I've had some cross the road to come and say hello to.... which was cool because it's what I felt like doing Smile
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MoneyMike



Joined: 03 Dec 2008

PostPosted: Wed Jul 20, 2011 3:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Same as most others, when I'm in an area with a high foreigner concentration I don't bother. My neighborhood doesn't have many, however, so I always give a smile n nod when I see one around home.
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murmanjake



Joined: 21 Oct 2008

PostPosted: Wed Jul 20, 2011 4:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Bada_Bing wrote:
I understand it when in areas more highly populated with foreigners but it's comic when around my own area, where there seem to be relatively few foreigners, they make more of an effort to ignore rather than to just give a little nod. Rolling Eyes


Very well put. I call it Isolated Foreigner Syndrome. Sometimes the sense of isolation can make you feel mentally disengaged. Then when the opportunity to interact comes around you're just not ready.
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Perceptioncheck



Joined: 13 Oct 2008

PostPosted: Wed Jul 20, 2011 4:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

ChrisLamp wrote:
this is going to sound rude (because it is) and illogical (because it is) but it's how I feel and I feel like being honest. so here goes, flame away.

My girlfriend and I hate it here so much that we are of the opinion that anybody who would willfully come to live and work must be either
A) miserable
B) an idiot

in either case we probably don't want to know you. it's harsh, and its pretty lonely, but hey ten months down only two to go! after that bye!


That's a real shame, you guys sound like SO MUCH FUN!

I don't really care if I'm acknowledged or not, but I must admit that I do find it mildly amusing when other round-eyes desperately try to avoid making even the slightest eye contact.

There's this one guy in my building who I must have seen dozens and dozens of times; in the subway station, at the convenience store, out on the street. . .even in the elevator. Sometimes I feel like telling him that it's okay - he can dare to look at me, and I won't expect him to become my new best friend.
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Zyzyfer



Joined: 29 Jan 2003
Location: who, what, where, when, why, how?

PostPosted: Wed Jul 20, 2011 4:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Never understood the obsession with having people make eye contact with you. Maybe people are just from small towns back home or something? I'm not from a big city by any stretch, but eye contact was never expected (and undoubtedly a bad idea in certain parts of town), with the exception of your immediate neighbors.
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Died By Bear



Joined: 13 Jul 2010
Location: On the big lake they call Gitche Gumee

PostPosted: Wed Jul 20, 2011 4:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Eye contact with other guys? Nah, there's way too many hot Kgals to look at.
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