Korean Job Discussion Forums

[wombatsincombat]

Carleverson: can you define what living abymally would be?

Fox: thanks for your input! Any chance you have their contact info?

Eamo: sadly I don't have the means to go ahead of them.

[TheUrbanMyth]

[Modernist]

Being an at-home parent of either gender is a dull, repetitive, frequently unpleasant experience in the best cities, even with a huge support network and an entire community that speaks your language. Even in my city here in Korea, which is considerably bigger than the one you're going to, I can't imagine what an at-home Western parent with a 6.5 month-old would do during the many, many hours his or her spouse was out teaching.

Of course there are at-home Korean parents of young kids, but I can assure you those parents will not be able to communicate with your wife in any way. There's walking or biking around to explore, which will be fun and interesting for maybe the first 3 weeks or so. There's the typical Korean stores and markets, which will last about as long. In your town there'll be no malls, no theme parks, no museums. Korean cities are notorious for having very little in the way of parks, playgrounds and public spaces [but plenty of overdesigned windswept plazas that contain nothing for young kids]. You'll be quite fortunate if your Korean TV gets maybe 2-3 channels in English.

So I ask you: what, exactly, will your wife be doing during all the time you're working? Of course she will be caring for your baby, yes, but even the youngest kid can't fill a whole day. So what else will she do? I don't think it's fair to assume she'll be 'fine,' even if she says she will. If she's your partner in life, an equal in your marriage, then you need to look hard at what this decision really means for her life, not just yours or your kid's. Don't let the heaviest burden of sarcifice fall on the mother and wife, which is what usually happens.

[s10czar]

I live/teach in Gangjin, which is just one town away from Jangheun. Essentially we'll be next door neighbors.

You've got some things going for you...

1st- all the teachers here are pretty tight and you'll meet us all right away. In Jangheun you've got Alex (woman), Sara and Matthew. Good people all. Here in Gangjin you've got me (Scott), Asia, Ian, and Amanda. On the other side in Boesong you've got Lisa, Aarron, Sarah, and Jesse-also good people.

2nd- you're young and maleable. I'm old and stuck in my ways so Jeollanamdo was a bit rough at first. Expect the unexpected. Unless you've been here before (or at least to Asia) you cannot imagine what you're going to find here.

3rd- you've got each other. Living in Jeollanamdo is living in isolation. The locals will basically ignore you. They certainly won't speak to you because THEY CAN'T speak to you. Very, very few people speak English down here.

Now, I can't give you much advice about kids except to say you're going to have to losen up about a lot of things. You're apartment will be filthy. Dirt, dust, bugs, and mud will invade from all directions faster than you can clean them out. There's trash laying everywhere- not because Koreans are slobs but because that's the system. You dump your trash out in the street and guys come around and pick it up. Smells great this time of year.

There's this truck that comes around on Wednesdays absolutely spewing bug poison into the air. The local kids chase around behind it playing in the gas. If you're out on the street with your child and that truck comes-run or else you'll be saturated with noxious fumes. Get used to it.

Look there's not much to do around here except drink and hike. There are no movie theaters, bookstores and cafe's in Jangheun. At least not like you think. The foreigner social scene down here is very tight but pretty much everything revolves around partying and drinking. It's like being in college again. Foreigners (get used to that term by the way) who aren't into that scene are either old like me or very seriously committed to their religeous beliefs.

If I can you just one piece of advice it's this: prepare for a world where you cannot speak to people. No- they DO NOT understand pidgeon English like the rest of the world. They don't understand ANY English. Get your financial house in order before coming here. Moving money around and paying bills back home is extremely difficult once you're here.

Don't get me wrong, it's not all doom and gloom. But there's damn little romance to it as well.

[TheUrbanMyth]

[eamo]

[TheUrbanMyth]

[politica]

I wasn't going to post anything at first, but then when I started reading these comments and was surprised that they're mostly negative . . . so I thought I would throw in my two cents:

I think you could do just fine in Korea. Korea is really what you make of it. I live in a small town in Gyeongsangnamdo. I can't speak directly about children, but I do have some good friends- a family of three with a new baby- who seem to do just fine. The mom doesn't work (but she volunteers) and the baby is maybe . . . 4 months old (born in Korea). Anyhow, here's my advice:

-Bring baby clothes and shoes (especially shoes!). All the supplies you should be able to get fairly cheap. If you don't mind secondhand, try checking out the buy/sell board here and Craigslist. New moms here like to use this back holster thing- it's kind of like a blanket with ties that you use to strap your baby to your back. If she has one of those, she'll fit right in

-Did you mention if you're teaching in a hagwon or public school? I agree that you'll be much better off in a public school. If you're not, you might want to hold off.

-Definitely ensure that you have health insurance. That's important. You should probably also have international health insurance for your family, or at least emergency health insurance. Everyday visits to the doctor here are super cheap (typically less than $5 including medicine).

-Have you lived abroad before? That will help the adjustment period a lot. You'll definitely be in for a culture shock, but you just have to take things in stride . . .

-If you're making at least 2 million/month, I think you'll be totally fine. I disagree with some of the above posters about the cost of food. If you're willing to eat mostly Korean food (local produce, rice, seafood, pork, etc.), you'll do fine. But if you plan on eating cheese, beef, imported products daily, you might have a problem. Be aware that you probably won't have a microwave or oven.

-My biggest concern about your situation is your wife being bored. Even with the baby, she'll probably have a lot of time on her hands. Some ideas to combat that problem: Hiking, language exchange with a Korean mom (your wife teaches her English, Korean mom teaches your wife Korean), volunteering (at a school, church, etc.- note, this may be illegal, but nobody should bother you about it), gardening (neighborhoods often have community gardens) . . .

Anyway, don't be too concerned about the above posters. A lot of foreigners in Korea (but not all!) are miserable if they can't get cheese or watch CSI or afford a car. But you seem like a differently-minded couple. So I think as long as you keep an open mind and get creative in your entertainment options, you'll be fine

[Lolimahro]

Getting NHIC in Korea is a breeze, and also quite cheap. I am a working mom and my husband doesn't work; we have a 3yo son. Both are on dependant F3 visas and are covered by National health insurance (NHIC). Here's a link about what I did to get them covered: http://kitcheninafishbowl.blogspot.com/2009/09/alien-adventures-part-2-i-can-has.html

Second, while Dave's can be helpful, there is an online resource specifically for Expat Parents that my be more helpful for you: http://expatparents.50.forumer.com/ You can find other parents in your area, and learn lots about the tricks and tips of parenting in Korea.

I have to run now, but feel free to PM me, and I'd be glad to share my experience as a family breadwinner here in Korea. I am a 26yo with a 3yo, so I hear you about the whole "teenmom" thing. Definitely do not tell your students your age. They will be shocked and who knows what they will say about you behind your back.

Best of luck to you.

[wombatsincombat]

First of all, thank you so much to everyone who posted a reply! Negative responses aare still good for us -we want to be prepared- ! And it is very comforting to talk to other parents or people who were around expat parents and see that they are supportive!

And thanks to those who stuck up for stay at home parenting. What will I do as a housewife? I will raise a child, cook for three people three meals a day, keep a clean house, do laundry... occasionally repetitive and never dull, it is a hard and rewarding job. We should have mentioned we are from a small town in Arkansas (redundant) that is a good 5000 people less than Jangheung. I'm already used to being at home, taking walks with baby, and waiting for my husband to come home. Maybe this will have prepared me to live in rural korea?

I would love to work with korean mothers who want to learn english! I want to learn korean and have been practicing for some time. Are there any good programs anyone has had a lot of luck with? (I'm sure there is a topic for this and I will go find it soon!)

My biggest concern everyone has mentioned... is not working in hagwons. My husbands job is at the private school in jangheung and the director seemed very nice! I will pm 10sczar to see if he can find anything out about it... but should we really hold out for public?


I will be pming all who said I could, so be prepared!! Thank you again

[PatrickGHBusan]

[wombatsincombat]

Darn it! I can't pm as a new user... so s10czar and lolimahro, I would love to talk to you more in depth! So if you don't mind entertaining my questions please pm me.

[smurfetta]

OP- definitely, check out the forum that Lolimahro suggested. I think you will find it a useful resource.

I lived as a stay-at-home mom in rural Korea from my son's birth til he was 9 months old. The previous two years, I did work as a teacher so I was used to the culture somewhat. We had a car which really helped and enabled us to travel to bigger cities.

We did save some money but not as much as when we were both working. I found that as soon as we became parents hanging out with our expat friends who had no children just didn't work.

I found that most Korean moms who had babies around my son's age worked and the children were cared for by their mothers or mother-in-laws. Most were surprised that I chose to stay home and even a bit baffled by my decision.

Your plan is doable. Usually, even a small city community centre offers free Korean Language classes to foreigners and foreigners married to Koreans. I went regularly to one pre-baby and met a quite a few Filipino moms who would bring their babies with them. We learned some Korean but frankly the class was more of a social get together. So, that may be something for you to look at.

Don't bother with a stroller, I found the sidewalks to be none existent or used as parking lots for scooters. Buy an Ergo or something like that. So much easier. I think I owned 6 different type of baby carriers including a podaegi when I lived in Korea.

Network and try to find other expat moms in your area if possible. Having another mom to talk to really helps.

I'll send you a pm so that you can ask questions.

[Modernist]

[smurfetta]

OP- I would hold out for a job in a bigger city if you can. You need to be able to meet up with other expat parents and their children. It will make your experience in Korea so much better.