Korean Job Discussion Forums

J Rock · Joined: 17 Jan 2009 Location: The center of the Earth, Suji

Are there other people out there who just have no motivation or energy to do anything anymore? All I can seem to do lately is just get by with the bare minimum. At school I dont have the enthusiasm I used to have and can't really get excited about teaching anymore, I just go through the motions and am just there.

More importantly at home I have a 6 month old and a Korean wife. We've been married for a little over a year and it's great and all but I don't ever feel like going out or doing anything. All I really want to do is lay around the apartment and play PS3 or watch movies. I can't blame it on drinking becuase I rarely drink anymore because of the baby. I have a gained a little weight but I doubt that's the problem. Maybe I'm just really lazy?

I used to be a pretty happy person with lots of energy to go out and explore and try new things. That changed big time in the last couple months and my wife thinks it might have something to do with her. I do reassure her that it is not her fault and I actually do enjoy coming home to her and J Rock Junior Very Happy

, but she is still concerned and I can understand why.

I do have some lingering thoughts that I have not discussed with her that maybe it is Korea that has beaten me down into being a hermit. I keep thinking about running away back home but then snap myself back into reality and think how will that make the situation better? Being back in Michigan with a wife, kid, no job, no house, but my saving grace is the money I have saved. After I bought a car, and got an apartment and things to furnish the apt. I probably wouldn't have that much left then where would I be.

I do have it pretty good here I guess decent 2 bedroom and a job that pays ok but not too many hours. Maybe it's just some sort of winter depression (that i've never had before).

Anyone else experience something like this? With a family or without?

PatrickGHBusan · Posted: Wed Nov 30, 2011 10:21 am Post subject:

You are tired.

Key: you have a 6 month old at home.

Give yourself time to adjust.

Father of two speaking here! Very Happy

AsiaESLbound · Joined: 07 Jan 2010 Location: Truck Stop Missouri

Sounds like teaching is a boring profession for you as it was for me. You can teach well and the kids love you, but you find it's just draining because it's not your fortay. Our choices in what we studied at university and read about in our free time says more about the kind of work we need. If you have an F2 visa, I'd look into doing something more business oriented and rewarding such as starting a high school test prep and tutoring hagwon.

sublunari · Joined: 11 Jun 2009

Fortay.

I'm also married to a Korean, I also have a six month-old--and yes, in spite of all the good things, the great health care, the great job, the decent apartment, the-city-that-is-not-a-city-that-is-Gyeongju, I am desperate to get out of here and, like, do something with my life. Staying here seems a lot like living in my parents' basement; whenever I'm lucky enough to leave this country I always feel as if I'm stepping back into the real world.

Some of that frustration definitely comes from all the difficulties of having a baby in the house, and that would be the same anywhere in the world, but the garbage everywhere, the endless traffic, all of the problems that have been whined about (and apologized for) on this website, grind you down.

The horrifying thing that makes all of this so much worse is that I probably won't be leaving for years. I would also suggest that you find something more productive to do with your time; sometimes it feels as if writing and reading are the only things keeping me on this side of sanity.

Died By Bear · Posted: Wed Nov 30, 2011 1:59 pm Post subject:

Take a break. Go to Thailand, have fun play golf tell everyone you're doing research for your book.

PatrickGHBusan · Posted: Wed Nov 30, 2011 2:44 pm Post subject:

Chet Wautlands · Joined: 11 Oct 2008

It might help to change up your routine.

Start going to bed earlier, sleeping in a different location (try the floor), get into yoga... whatever you can do to wake yourself up a bit.

Good luck getting through this. Things can be really awesome in Korea and terrible back home... state of mind is crucial. I've felt beaten down in both places.

The Floating World · Joined: 01 Oct 2011 Location: Here

Chet Wautlands · Joined: 11 Oct 2008

eamo · Joined: 08 Mar 2003 Location: Shepherd's Bush, 1964.

Man, you got married and had a kid!!

Of course life will be more humdrum.....your baby needs continuity and stability and a lot of your time for the first few years.....

......when the kid gets older you can do more, go out more, do some traveling.....whatever.

But for now, your decision to get married and have a kid means you're going to have to be a lot more domestic and a lot less fun, fun, fun!

fermentation · Joined: 22 Jun 2009

strange_brew · Joined: 12 Oct 2008

I have felt much the same way the past few months. I don't go out as much, I just want to lay around, etc. I'm tired of the job. As has been mentioned, it's fairly easy, etc, but you're just going through the motions. I don't find it challenging, and don't want to put much effort into it. However, I'm not married and have no ties to here anymore, so I'm off, off, off, when this contract ends in a few months, and I cannot wait.

I think I'm tired of the routine here after work as well. What do we do when we go out here? Most people drink whenever they go out, your friends constantly change because people are so fleeting here, and as also been mentioned, we don't really have casual conversation, since we aren't totally fluent in the local dialect. I feel for you, but you have a wife and kid, so you'll have to figure it out.

shifty · Joined: 21 Jun 2004

I disagree with the posters who say outright that it's the kid's arrival that has precipitated all this.

The OP's wife, who is no doubt bearing the brunt of the baby's needs, knows that his new-found lethargy is not natural or normal. Thus her ongoing concern. She probably wishes that he would drop the game/movies and go out with the guys or something.

A young man's zest can cope with the boundless needs of a young family.

A young man becomes energised by these events, everything else being equal.

I think the OP needs to recover his morale by visualising some attractive long term idea.

Draz · Joined: 27 Jun 2007 Location: Land of Morning Clam

I've been like that for like two years now. Sometimes it gets better, sometimes it gets worse, but I'm never really feeling good. Or, I feel good when I play video games. Read books. Any kind of escapism. But that isn't living.

My four year sentence is up in five weeks. I'm hoping that will help. God knows nothing else has.

The Floating World · Joined: 01 Oct 2011 Location: Here

I'll add to my post about a more interesting and stimulating job helping that - not being the only foriegner at work is good too.

I had been the only wayg at work since 2006 and it grinds you down. You become used toyour own company all day too much.

Having someone at work you can talk to and not have to spell everything out to is a big plus.