Korean Job Discussion Forums

y2kenjination · Joined: 12 Nov 2010

Hey everyone,

So my Korean girlfriend and I have been dating for about 6 months. She's pretty much the best girlfriend you could ever ask for-- worries about my health, always makes sure my fridge is well stocked with food, offers to pay for things, etc etc.

Anyhow, my contract with my hagwon is going to expire at the end of next month. I've decided to go back to the U.S.to pursue my future career. I'm 27 years old, and I'm not getting any younger. Staying in Korea with a dead end career seems pointless to me.

I've talked about moving back to the states with my girl, and she says she wants to stay with me regardless of whatever my decision is. Now let me cut to the chase:

What kind of job options would she have in the states? She's a very career driven girl, and doesn't want to work some minimum wage job. Here's some background information: She's currently a English grammar teacher at a small academy. Her English speaking and writing skills are passable, but not great. She majored in Chinese at her University, and she's currently set on becoming a flight attendant for Korean Air. She did a lot of research, and told me that if she does get the position with Korean Air, she won't be able to transfer to the U.S. branch. So there goes that option.

Her parents are also concerned about her possible career options...I think they want her to stay in Korea, since she could live a far more successful life here. However, they don't oppose the idea of her moving with me.

What do I do now? She won't be able to move to the states with me immediately, since she's currently attending a flight academy. She wants me to get settled in with a decent career before she moves to the states, but who knows how long that's going to take. Also, I think it's too soon to propose to her. Especially when I don't even have the funds to afford a wedding.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

P.S. FYI, I spent the last 3 hours trying to find answers with the search engine, but to no avail. I went through 25 pages of search results =/

AlastairKirby · Joined: 29 Aug 2011 Location: UK

When are you moving back to the states? Next month? Are you certain?

My advice would be to plan on staying in Korea for at least another year or two. If you really love this woman that is what you are going to have to do.

If you can guarantee that you will be able to get a well paying job in the states that will support both of you then it will be a lot safer as depending on her English level it may take time for her to find work.

6 months is far too soon to ask her to give up on her family and ambitions to move abroad. Do you think a long distance relationship would be possible? It might make more sense to get set up over there before she comes over.

(Sorry if I'm echoing stuff you have already said. I'm just trying to imagine myself in your position)

Teaching English in Korea might seem a dead end career. But the fact you met the woman you love in Korea means it has a lot more going for it then career prospects. Draw up a list of positives and negatives.

USA: Better job prospects
Korea: Love

If I were you I'd stay in Korea. Wait and see if you are really sure you want to get married. If you get married you can start earning more money from privates and part time jobs. Spend a few years saving up money. When you move back to the USA you might have a gap in your CV, but you will have enough money to support the both of you until you can both get set up.

How much faith do you have in a long term relationship? Because this really comes down to a choice between the woman you love and your career prospects. Weighing up the pros and cons I would advise to you stay in Korea for at least one more year.

ThingsComeAround · Joined: 07 Nov 2008

Agreed with the above poster.

Give it one more year (seriously- don't extend it longer) and ask yourself if she is the woman you want to spend your life with. Moving to America is a bigger deal for her than it is for you, giving that some serious thought while making a little time sacrifice on your part will help your decision A LOT

ttompatz · Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Location: Kwangju, South Korea

She can't do anything legally in the states.

She has no green card.
She won't get one till you get married.
It will take a year for a fiance visa and longer for a marriage visa to get worked out *it is clear from your post that you truly have no idea about your own country's visa processes.

Kinda putting the cart before the horse.

.

overdrive2023x · Joined: 08 Aug 2011 Location: San Diego, CA

Great post Alastairkirby

I have a similar situation to yours, except it's almost kind of the opposite. I met my Korean girlfriend while she was here in CA studying at a language school. Now I would like to go to Korea before I commit to a full time job, so that I can kill that curiosity of wanting to travel and live in another culture. At the time, I made the situation partly because I also wanted to be with my girlfriend, as I thought she would be going "back" to Korea within the year. After I got accepted by EPIK, she realized that she wanted to stay because she could make way more money than in Korea (as a server here at a Korean style bar in a korean district in town that is all illegal student labor).

Of course she's working in the US illegally, and using school as a front to keep her visa going. The problem is, like you said about your future in Korea, here for my girlfriend, she's essentially working a dead-end job. Green cards are EXTREMELY hard to get, and the only option really is Marriage, which even then requires another year before the foreign spouse can get a green card. I only just turned 24 last month, and my goal my entire life was to be financially sound and stable when I would get married, so I could provide for my wife and I.

So essentially our stories are similar, just in the opposite countries. But like the others said, since she's on her way towards something I would stay in Korea with her, until she attains it. Because if you bring her to the United States, her only hope is illegal work, which is always a dead end.

toby99 · Posted: Wed Jan 04, 2012 2:09 pm Post subject:

GrasshopperKR · Joined: 14 Oct 2011

Here's my take on it. Isn't 6 months a little fast to think about moving to another country? If things go *beep* up, she stuck in a foreign country with no way to work legally, seems to be a tad unfair. Stay if you want or go home if you want. I am guessing you are pretty young, take a step back let your big head do the thinking.

jonpurdy · Joined: 08 Jan 2009 Location: Ulsan

OP, definitely work here for another year. Six months is not enough time to make a huge decision like that.

warmachinenkorea · Joined: 12 Oct 2008

wishfullthinkng · Joined: 05 Mar 2010

has she even been to america before? many koreans get homesick when they try living in the states. yes, doing things for love is sometimes necessary, but it sounds like you are about to jump the plank into an ocean way too deep for you.

plus why would you move there in the first place? she's the one with the job (well almost) which not only would be something firm bringing in money, but you both would also have the support of her family here. also, as a flight attendant that means flights back to the usa to visit your family would be free or heavily discounted. if you had a nice job lined up where she didn't have to work and you could afford to fly her somewhere every 90 days to renew her tourist visa then it would make sense.

like everyone else said you should give it more time here. then take a trip to the states to get married, come back and work here at your teaching job until the green card comes in. then head back to the states.

y2kenjination · Joined: 12 Nov 2010

Thank you for everyone's advice thus far!

tiger fancini · Joined: 21 Mar 2006 Location: Testicles for Eyes

Stay in Korea for one more year.

Make sure you both bank as much money as you possibly can.

Review after one year.

y2kenjination · Joined: 12 Nov 2010

pkang0202 · Joined: 09 Mar 2007

You could go back to the states alone. Introduce your gf to someone else (I'm single).

Zyzyfer · Posted: Wed Jan 04, 2012 6:29 pm Post subject:

My overly simplistic suggestion:

1 - Go back home and do your thing, and let her come over on a tourist visa (I think the visa waiver program is still in effect) once you've settled in a bit and see what things are like in the States.
2 - If she's really still keen on life in the US, and you really do feel like you want to marry this girl, then look into the marriage process from the States (I would suggest doing this now, honestly). I think it would be better to speak with a US government official about this and deal with the accompanying bureaucracy on the up and up, rather than trying to work out some loophole (pretty much everything will take time), but that's just me.
3 - Get hitched when the blocks fall in place, she gets green card, applies for work. Perhaps she might want to consider working for other airlines that don't pay as well before trying for the U.S. branch of Korean Air. She may be career-driven and all, but if she's working at a small academy right now, then she knows you don't magically jump into an amazing career.

Honestly, I don't think she'll have many gainful employment options other than being a flight attendant. This is why I suggested point 1, she needs to come over and be bored for a month to see if she really can handle being in the US. THEN you two start making real commitments.