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Lunar Groove Gardener
Joined: 05 Jan 2005
Location: 1987 Subaru
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 Posted: Tue Apr 24, 2012 7:41 am Post subject: |
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Friends of convenience are a bit less than a perfect fit often times...
Being a loner is certainly a skill one can cultivate here.
Does it make one weirder? I think so.
The more you acclimate to the lonely life, the less you seek out the comfort of
community and friendship.
The less you seek the comfort of friendship the more you live in your own head.
The more you live in your own head, the less you see fit to relate to what frankly begins to look like a cacophony of circus freaks and displaced frat daddios soaking themselves and loudly interrupting nothingness all night long.
Don't get me wrong, drunk is fun, but it comes at a price once you're too old to look good with a shot balanced on your head, a cigarette and a platinum barbell pierced through your zygomatic arch .
Finally, you begin to wonder if you'll ever find true friendship and not just this placebo style of concocted connection which seems to service the social urges of anyone who still has a strong beverage on every page of their rolliodex.
You think about volunteering at orphanages, you climb mountains alone, you ride the subway to places that lead to other places that lead to other subway rides to other places that you walk around and then you get back onto the subway, or take a taxi, or simply sit on a burial mound and wish for what is not.
You start to wax esoterically about the taste of gun oil or the allure that harkens you towards the back wheels of speeding cement trucks and the view off high bridges.
You start skyping with complete strangers and take up a few musical instruments, writing lonely cowboy hymns and ballads which always end with you having to burn down your house to start a signal fire.
In the end, no greater joy can be imagined than the escape from this particular place, even though you love the scenery and the feeling that you are good at teaching , and learning to teach.
You wander for years this way and you never really get an answer to your quest. You simply linger in between caring about everything and not knowing who it is you've become.
The songs of birds begin to piss you off and you refuse to kill bees, though mosquitoes do not earn a reprieve..
You become a better son, daughter, man, woman, teacher, human, or quite the opposite, you become a dissipated reprobate with no direction and no desire to find one.
On the flight back home you tell yourself that it was all worth it, that this is what you were meant to become. Once home, you get a job as a greeter at Wally's Discount Balloon Factory Clearance Emporium. You move up the ladder to chief in charge of balloon infusion. You marry well and retire with a dog, but no children. It works for you, or so you tell yourself, but really, you sit up at night, on the roof of your rented home, full of Wild Turkey and prescription Robitussin, monkey f$#%ing cowboy killers and hoping that the freaking Mayans were right.
Or you join Facebook and make friends with EVERYBODY that pokes you.
One of those, for most of us, I hate to say.
Lots of love.
LGG |
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VTsoi
Joined: 10 Jan 2012
Location: Seongnam, ROK
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| Posted: Tue Apr 24, 2012 11:52 am Post subject: |
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| Lunar Groove Gardener wrote: |
Friends of convenience are a bit less than a perfect fit often times...
Being a loner is certainly a skill one can cultivate here.
Does it make one weirder? I think so.
The more you acclimate to the lonely life, the less you seek out the comfort of
community and friendship.
The less you seek the comfort of friendship the more you live in your own head.
The more you live in your own head, the less you see fit to relate to what frankly begins to look like a cacophony of circus freaks and displaced frat daddios soaking themselves and loudly interrupting nothingness all night long.
Don't get me wrong, drunk is fun, but it comes at a price once you're too old to look good with a shot balanced on your head, a cigarette and a platinum barbell pierced through your zygomatic arch .
Finally, you begin to wonder if you'll ever find true friendship and not just this placebo style of concocted connection which seems to service the social urges of anyone who still has a strong beverage on every page of their rolliodex.
You think about volunteering at orphanages, you climb mountains alone, you ride the subway to places that lead to other places that lead to other subway rides to other places that you walk around and then you get back onto the subway, or take a taxi, or simply sit on a burial mound and wish for what is not.
You start to wax esoterically about the taste of gun oil or the allure that harkens you towards the back wheels of speeding cement trucks and the view off high bridges.
You start skyping with complete strangers and take up a few musical instruments, writing lonely cowboy hymns and ballads which always end with you having to burn down your house to start a signal fire.
In the end, no greater joy can be imagined than the escape from this particular place, even though you love the scenery and the feeling that you are good at teaching , and learning to teach.
You wander for years this way and you never really get an answer to your quest. You simply linger in between caring about everything and not knowing who it is you've become.
The songs of birds begin to piss you off and you refuse to kill bees, though mosquitoes do not earn a reprieve..
You become a better son, daughter, man, woman, teacher, human, or quite the opposite, you become a dissipated reprobate with no direction and no desire to find one.
On the flight back home you tell yourself that it was all worth it, that this is what you were meant to become. Once home, you get a job as a greeter at Wally's Discount Balloon Factory Clearance Emporium. You move up the ladder to chief in charge of balloon infusion. You marry well and retire with a dog, but no children. It works for you, or so you tell yourself, but really, you sit up at night, on the roof of your rented home, full of Wild Turkey and prescription Robitussin, monkey f$#%ing cowboy killers and hoping that the freaking Mayans were right.
Or you join Facebook and make friends with EVERYBODY that pokes you.
One of those, for most of us, I hate to say.
Lots of love.
LGG |
Far and away the best post this board will ever see. Brought a tear to my eye, even if it was somewhat tongue in cheek. |
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Skipperoo
Joined: 05 Jul 2010
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| Posted: Tue Apr 24, 2012 12:23 pm Post subject: |
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| Seconded. Excellent. |
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mwalls
Joined: 25 Aug 2011
Location: WA, USA--soon to be Namhae
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| Posted: Tue Apr 24, 2012 3:29 pm Post subject: |
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| Wow. Well done, LGG. |
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pegasus64128
Joined: 20 Aug 2011
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lorenchristopher
Joined: 25 Dec 2007
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| Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 1:31 am Post subject: |
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OP, I can really empathize with you. I used to feel stuck between being a complete loner or hanging out with other foreigners that always got on my nerves.
I joined a Korean language program and made some great friends, then I bought a scooter, joined some naver cafes for photography and travel where I was the only foreigner....I started feeling a lot better about living in Korea.
I don't want to "fit in" and I know that I never will, but I've had amazing experiences and have been lucky enough to have made some very deep friendships. Friends come and go, foreigner or Korean, and there are people that I don't particularly like to spend my time with, foreigner or Korean.
If you find outlets to put yourself out there and socialize then you are bound to meet people that you connect with on more than that superficial level. I would have to agree that the foreigner scene here in general is very "cheesy", but it tends to have that ring to it no matter where you live. |
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Enrico Palazzo
Mod Team
Joined: 11 Mar 2008
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| Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 5:20 am Post subject: |
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| Buddah's Slipper wrote: |
OP, ill give you the best advice you'll ever receive:
When you mention the word "foreigner" it means you are referring to the entire population of planet Earth BESIDES Koreans. Let that sink in for a second.
Here's something that took me a while to realize but once I did it changed my life here in korea for the better. Working tirelessly to learn the local language to fit in with the locals is a losing and fruitless battle. Even if you learn the language you will never "fit in" and you'll also be astounded just how closed off and socially retarded most Koreans are. So whats the end game? What's the benefit? You make some superficial friends and in the process become even more weird and anti-social in the process. Yipeeee.
Use your time here to deal with your social issues head on. I have met hundreds of great, amazing people from all corners of the globe. The times i've been most miserable and detached are those times I tried hard to integrate into a society that has zero interest in anyone besides themselves. |
I'm afraid the highlighted words are not acceptable or professional and don't belong in this forum. Don't use language that sounds racist to many readers. Keep things clean.
'Rico |
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Adam Carolla
Joined: 26 Feb 2010
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| Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 5:38 am Post subject: |
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| Enrico Palazzo wrote: |
| Buddah's Slipper wrote: |
OP, ill give you the best advice you'll ever receive:
When you mention the word "foreigner" it means you are referring to the entire population of planet Earth BESIDES Koreans. Let that sink in for a second.
Here's something that took me a while to realize but once I did it changed my life here in korea for the better. Working tirelessly to learn the local language to fit in with the locals is a losing and fruitless battle. Even if you learn the language you will never "fit in" and you'll also be astounded just how closed off and socially retarded most Koreans are. So whats the end game? What's the benefit? You make some superficial friends and in the process become even more weird and anti-social in the process. Yipeeee.
Use your time here to deal with your social issues head on. I have met hundreds of great, amazing people from all corners of the globe. The times i've been most miserable and detached are those times I tried hard to integrate into a society that has zero interest in anyone besides themselves. |
I'm afraid the highlighted words are not acceptable or professional and don't belong in this forum. Don't use language that sounds racist to many readers. Keep things clean.
'Rico |
What is social retardation?
| Quote: |
| Social retardation is a colloquial diagnosis of social deficiencies, not a medical diagnosis or type of retardation. While people who are mentally retarded can exhibit this type of behavior, many people who are otherwise considered normal, functioning human beings can also act in ways that would warrant this diagnosis. It is typically considered impolite or politically incorrect to use this designation because social retardation is pejorative and is not a true type of retardation. A more polite way to say that a person suffers from social retardation is to say that he or she has deficient social skills or to identify the actual disorder from which the person suffers. |
Perhaps not the best choice in phrasing, but hardly racist. I think people have forgotten that retarded actually means delayed, or late-developing.
Do Koreans *on average* develop their social skills later in life than, say, the average foreigner? I would say that due to the incredible amount of time spent with nose-buried-in-book studying during their formative years that I don't find it unlikely at all. |
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fermentation
Joined: 22 Jun 2009
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| Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 5:46 am Post subject: |
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| I didn't find it racist at all. I would say it's true in general. |
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PatrickGHBusan
Joined: 24 Jun 2008
Location: Busan (1997-2008) Canada 2008 -
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| Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 11:46 am Post subject: |
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Which social skills?
In what context?
It is not that simple an issue.
The use of the term retarded was loaded with meaning in the case of the post it was included in. |
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radcon
Joined: 23 May 2011
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| Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 12:32 pm Post subject: |
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| PatrickGHBusan wrote: |
Which social skills?
In what context?
It is not that simple an issue.
The use of the term retarded was loaded with meaning in the case of the post it was included in. |
It wasn't a loaded term if you understand the English language properly. |
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Adam Carolla
Joined: 26 Feb 2010
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| Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 2:05 pm Post subject: |
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| radcon wrote: |
| PatrickGHBusan wrote: |
Which social skills?
In what context?
It is not that simple an issue.
The use of the term retarded was loaded with meaning in the case of the post it was included in. |
It wasn't a loaded term if you understand the English language properly. |
God forbid you use the word niggardly on this forum. It sounds racist. |
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PatrickGHBusan
Joined: 24 Jun 2008
Location: Busan (1997-2008) Canada 2008 -
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| Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 3:07 pm Post subject: |
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| radcon wrote: |
| PatrickGHBusan wrote: |
Which social skills?
In what context?
It is not that simple an issue.
The use of the term retarded was loaded with meaning in the case of the post it was included in. |
It wasn't a loaded term if you understand the English language properly. |
I understand it properly and the context in which it was used was not without malice or intent to insult. However, we can agree to disagree on this one as I cannot see this going any further in any constructive manner.
I realize that context is a bitch and that some people just see it as an obstacle to making that sweet sweeping general statement....all is well. |
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Malislamusrex
Joined: 01 Feb 2010
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| Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 5:28 pm Post subject: |
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To the OP you are not going to a part of Korean society like the immigrants in New York, it's a different culture and you are an outsider.
What I would suggest is you join a club. If you join a club you make new friends and you are doing something you enjoy. There is nothing more socially awkward than sitting with a group of people you have nothing in common with for the sake of mixing. If you are a part of a sports team you always have something to talk about and people to hang out with and the most important this is you are all having fun. |
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jfromtheway
Joined: 20 Nov 2010
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| Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 7:24 pm Post subject: |
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| PatrickGHBusan wrote: |
| radcon wrote: |
| PatrickGHBusan wrote: |
Which social skills?
In what context?
It is not that simple an issue.
The use of the term retarded was loaded with meaning in the case of the post it was included in. |
It wasn't a loaded term if you understand the English language properly. |
I understand it properly and the context in which it was used was not without malice or intent to insult. However, we can agree to disagree on this one as I cannot see this going any further in any constructive manner.
I realize that context is a bitch and that some people just see it as an obstacle to making that sweet sweeping general statement....all is well. |
You really don't understand the nature of your bias, do you? |
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