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"Yes, I can use chopsticks:the everyday microaggression
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The Sultan of Seoul
Joined: 17 Apr 2012
Location: right... behind.. YOU
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 Posted: Fri May 04, 2012 9:31 pm Post subject: |
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| I did that coz I knew that would happen. |
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The Cosmic Hum
Joined: 09 May 2003
Location: Sonic Space
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| Posted: Fri May 04, 2012 9:35 pm Post subject: |
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| The Sultan of Seoul wrote: |
| I did that coz I knew that would happen. |
ahh...a prophetic grammar nazi...interesting combination.  |
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Hyeon In
Joined: 16 Feb 2012
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| Posted: Sat May 05, 2012 2:30 am Post subject: |
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| Zyzyfer wrote: |
Microaggression - stereotyping for the 21st century!
And I'm sorry, but if a Korean regularly acts surprised because I can use chopsticks or order beer in Korean, I don't feel slighted by it. It's apparent that the person is an idiot. I was sitting on the fence before but now I'm shaking my head because people felt the need to invent a new term for this. How emo! |
Yes, simply some people are idiots.
Today my wife was handing me my bank card. The 'helpful' lady in Homeplus who'd been serving us tells me (in Korean) "It's a bank card. You should take it. You should take it. You should take it.", as I was taking it.. I have no idea what planet this woman is from where she thinks I'd be bewildered by a bank card being given to me by my wife, but fluent enough in Korean to understand her helpful advice.. |
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Julius
Joined: 27 Jul 2006
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| Posted: Sat May 05, 2012 3:17 am Post subject: |
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| Hyeon In wrote: |
| Zyzyfer wrote: |
Microaggression - stereotyping for the 21st century!
And I'm sorry, but if a Korean regularly acts surprised because I can use chopsticks or order beer in Korean, I don't feel slighted by it. It's apparent that the person is an idiot. I was sitting on the fence before but now I'm shaking my head because people felt the need to invent a new term for this. How emo! |
Yes, simply some people are idiots.
Today my wife was handing me my bank card. The 'helpful' lady in Homeplus who'd been serving us tells me (in Korean) "It's a bank card. You should take it. You should take it. You should take it.", as I was taking it.. I have no idea what planet this woman is from where she thinks I'd be bewildered by a bank card being given to me by my wife, but fluent enough in Korean to understand her helpful advice.. |
She's just using the few english words she knows.
Yes they may come accross as clumsy or inept but she is basically extending you a courtesy by speaking your language and offering you a discount card.
How well do you speak Korean?
Exactly.
I don't pay too much attention to the words they use. Quite a lot of Koreans mean well but don't have the exact vocabulary or intonation to express themselves in English.
It should really be pretty easy to discern their intentions -freindly or otherwise-based on the body language. |
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slothrop
Joined: 03 Feb 2003
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| Posted: Sat May 05, 2012 3:36 am Post subject: |
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edit
Last edited by slothrop on Tue May 08, 2012 6:00 am; edited 1 time in total |
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PatrickGHBusan
Joined: 24 Jun 2008
Location: Busan (1997-2008) Canada 2008 -
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| Posted: Sat May 05, 2012 4:23 am Post subject: |
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oh for Pete's sake....some people need to get over these little things  |
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Hyeon In
Joined: 16 Feb 2012
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| Posted: Sat May 05, 2012 5:39 am Post subject: |
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| Julius wrote: |
| Hyeon In wrote: |
| Zyzyfer wrote: |
Microaggression - stereotyping for the 21st century!
And I'm sorry, but if a Korean regularly acts surprised because I can use chopsticks or order beer in Korean, I don't feel slighted by it. It's apparent that the person is an idiot. I was sitting on the fence before but now I'm shaking my head because people felt the need to invent a new term for this. How emo! |
Yes, simply some people are idiots.
Today my wife was handing me my bank card. The 'helpful' lady in Homeplus who'd been serving us tells me (in Korean) "It's a bank card. You should take it. You should take it. You should take it.", as I was taking it.. I have no idea what planet this woman is from where she thinks I'd be bewildered by a bank card being given to me by my wife, but fluent enough in Korean to understand her helpful advice.. |
She's just using the few english words she knows.
Yes they may come accross as clumsy or inept but she is basically extending you a courtesy by speaking your language and offering you a discount card.
How well do you speak Korean?
Exactly.
I don't pay too much attention to the words they use. Quite a lot of Koreans mean well but don't have the exact vocabulary or intonation to express themselves in English. |
As I said above, she was speaking Korean. I also speak Korean. She was telling me nonsense in Korean, and I understood it. My wife also thought this woman was an idiot. We were buying a piano at the time and she'd also said stupid crap to my wife whilst we did the purchase. She wasn't racist or anything, she was just an idiot.
Sometimes, people are just idiots. It doesn't matter whether they're Korean, American, Welsh, Chinese or Mongolian.. sometimes they're just idiots. |
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Hyeon In
Joined: 16 Feb 2012
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| Posted: Sat May 05, 2012 5:46 am Post subject: |
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| PatrickGHBusan wrote: |
| oh for Pete's sake....some people need to get over these little things |
I suspect when you were living here you got over this. You did so by 'living in a rut'. What I mean by this, is that you probably had a select group of restaurants you went to, and they all knew you. You probably had a select group of stores you went to, and they all knew you. At work, they all knew you. You probably got over these stupid questions many years back simply because everyone knew you.
I'm in a similar situation. But, occasionally, I break out of my self-made mold and go new places.. and when I do, the stupid questions can be somewhat annoying.
I agree that it's silly to get worked up over it, and I don't 99% of the time. But occasionally it gets to me. The other week I ordered some grilled fish whilst having lunch alone. The waiter brought me a fork, unprompted. I know he was trying to be nice, but still.. it's kind of annoying. It's definitely "micro" (but usually not "aggression"), and I don't get annoyed by it most of the time. But it kind of piles up and you end up getting really annoyed one day over a pretty minor thing.. |
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jfromtheway
Joined: 20 Nov 2010
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| Posted: Sat May 05, 2012 9:23 am Post subject: |
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| Hyeon In wrote: |
| PatrickGHBusan wrote: |
| oh for Pete's sake....some people need to get over these little things |
I suspect when you were living here you got over this. You did so by 'living in a rut'. |
I think Patrickbsbusan is an entity that exists purely within the existential rut of himself, eternally, and sadly. He blindly delivers "for pete's sake," McCarthy style, 10th grade logic, with condescending admonitions and generalizations, falsely modified as "advice". And he's useful for nothing more than that, unless you're seeking info on living in Busan, from someone who lived there four years ago. Not to mention he's an older Korean man, sense some bias there? He's not a source to be determinately impartial. He is someone to be disregarded, generally. |
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PatrickGHBusan
Joined: 24 Jun 2008
Location: Busan (1997-2008) Canada 2008 -
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| Posted: Sat May 05, 2012 2:53 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: |
| I suspect when you were living here you got over this. You did so by 'living in a rut'. What I mean by this, is that you probably had a select group of restaurants you went to, and they all knew you. You probably had a select group of stores you went to, and they all knew you. At work, they all knew you. You probably got over these stupid questions many years back simply because everyone knew you. |
Partially accurate. I did have prefered hang out and restaurants but I did get the chopstick comment now and again and frankly it just did not bother me. All I am saying is that life is too short to get angry/frustrated/irritated over such things. Heck life will throw far worse things at a person I think.
Of course in the regular hang outs these questions tended not to happen (except from some new customers at a given restaurant for example). I really never got frustrated or irritated by the chopstick comment nor by kids saying hello. Other things did bug me however.
Anyway, I understand some people get pissed off by these comments, I just think one can move on from them.
Oh and jfromtheway, I am not Korean sorry. |
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The Sultan of Seoul
Joined: 17 Apr 2012
Location: right... behind.. YOU
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| Posted: Sat May 05, 2012 3:31 pm Post subject: |
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| Good for you patrickghb that these things never bothered you, but the evidence here and in the original article, prove just the opposite; for most expats, these little things wear one down from day to day. I'm in China at the moment and there is a lot less of it and I more relaxed. Still get a few of the old 'ooh a foriegner is around, say some random English words as he passes by' and it does bother me. It takes me out of my sense of privacy and makes me a centre of attention, a minor public spectacle and is unwelcome by me mostly. There is nothing wrong with just wanting to be left alone and blend in and go about your day to day life without being a spectacle or special event, especialy after a tiring day at work or in the midst of a private conversation. |
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joelove
Joined: 12 May 2011
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| Posted: Sat May 05, 2012 3:55 pm Post subject: |
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| One of the weirdest things I find is grown men, like myself, over 30 or whatever, saying those hellos or something, and it seems for no reason, other than some strange kind of amusement for them I guess. It happens several times a week probably. A minor thing, sure, but one wonders why. It's not like they really have any interest in you or anything, it's just a little something some of them will do, and I'm at a loss to figure it out. Look, a foreigner, hey, there's a car, by the way it's sunny today. |
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slothrop
Joined: 03 Feb 2003
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| Posted: Sat May 05, 2012 6:51 pm Post subject: |
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edit
Last edited by slothrop on Fri Jun 01, 2012 11:03 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Nismo
Joined: 31 Aug 2005
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| Posted: Sat May 05, 2012 7:06 pm Post subject: |
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| slothrop wrote: |
but rather have a continuous loop of the 'curb your enthusiasm' music playing in their heads.  |
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Konglishman
Joined: 14 Sep 2007
Location: Nanjing
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| Posted: Sat May 05, 2012 11:43 pm Post subject: |
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| Mix1 wrote: |
| Konglishman wrote: |
Now, back to the conversation at hand, going along with this concept of micro-agression, I find that there are certain conversations that I have to keep off-limits when chatting with the majority of Koreans. |
Uh...ya think?
(Almost anything related to Korea...just nod head and keep quiet. Never interrupt the sales pitch...) |
Of course, I bring this up because I find it to be the most frustrating part about having conversations with Koreans whom I do not know well. There are certain questions or topics which inevitably come up that cannot be answered honestly.
For example, I was on vacation in Thailand recently, and a little to my annoyance, a friend who was traveling with me invited over two Korean girls to hang out with us on the last day of vacation. During dinner, one of the Korean girls said that Koreans think that foreigners are dirty. While my friend was giving a heavily sugar-coated response, I found myself doing my best to stay silent and not say what I really think. |
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