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fermentation
Joined: 22 Jun 2009
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 Posted: Thu May 31, 2012 3:52 am Post subject: Survey on relationship on foreigners |
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Came across this article on what people thought of dating/marrying foreigners. In light of recent threads, I'd thought some of yall would find this interesting.
http://efn.edaily.co.kr/Brandnews/NewsTotalRead.asp?sub_cd=DJ&newsid=02148406596282048
To summarize:
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Out of 998 single men and women, 87% responded they would like to date a foreigner.
91% of men and 72% of women.
When asked for the reason, 71% said, "Nationality doesn't matter when it comes to love." 23% said they would like they want to experience a different language and culture.
Out of those who responded negatively to international relationships, 69% said they think different values would hinder the relationship.
On the topic of marriage, 83% of men and 80% of women responded positively. 36% of men were more open to culturally similar Chinese and Japanese women. 53% of women preferred European men because they are perceived to be more romantic.
18% said they actually have had dated a foreigner. |
It's a small sample size, and perhaps people are more honest on an anonymous survey, but I think times are a changing.
I also did some "research" when I accidentally closed the article and tried to find it again on naver by typing in "foreigner relationships" and "foreigner boyfriend/girlfriend." There's actually quite a few blogs by Korean women talking about their foreign boyfriends, and quite a few by Korean guys asking how one goes about getting a foreign girl. lulz. I still don't like the title of "foreigner" boyfriend though, which most of these blog entries seem to start with. |
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Julius
Joined: 27 Jul 2006
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| Posted: Thu May 31, 2012 4:18 am Post subject: |
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Exactly.
Most Koreans are not that stupid, they can tell that their hysterical tabloidy media lies to them about foreigners 24/7.
More Koreans want to marry into a different culture because the one they live in is waaay too stressful. |
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northway
Joined: 05 Jul 2010
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| Posted: Thu May 31, 2012 4:22 am Post subject: |
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| I'm guessing those numbers are a bit skewed towards youth. |
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fermentation
Joined: 22 Jun 2009
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| Posted: Thu May 31, 2012 4:34 am Post subject: |
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| northway wrote: |
| I'm guessing those numbers are a bit skewed towards youth. |
I forgot to mention that they're people in their 20s and 30s. |
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northway
Joined: 05 Jul 2010
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| Posted: Thu May 31, 2012 4:41 am Post subject: |
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| fermentation wrote: |
| northway wrote: |
| I'm guessing those numbers are a bit skewed towards youth. |
I forgot to mention that they're people in their 20s and 30s. |
Ah, that's no surprise at all, in that case, though I do think there are a lot more Koreans (women, specifically) who are curious about dating a foreigner but wouldn't actually follow through with it. |
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tardisrider
Joined: 13 Mar 2003
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Thu May 31, 2012 4:44 am Post subject: Re: Survey on relationship on foreigners |
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| fermentation wrote: |
It's a small sample size, and perhaps people are more honest on an anonymous survey, but I think times are a changing.
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I agree with your overall evaluation, but I'm a bit nerdy about statistics, so I'd like to point something out. It's actually quite an adequate sample size and results can be calculated with decent margins of error, but I'm very curious about how the sample was selected. The selection method is much more important than sample size when understanding how the percentages relate to the the overall population.
The selection process needs to be random for the results to be generalizable for a given population. That's often not the case for studies like these. |
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sml7285
Joined: 26 Apr 2012
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| Posted: Thu May 31, 2012 5:05 am Post subject: |
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| Julius wrote: |
| More Koreans want to marry into a different culture because the one they live in is waaay too stressful. |
... No.
I was born in the States and have lived here for 23 years. Like most minorities growing up, I went through several identity crises. Still, after all that, I can almost guarantee you that I will marry a Korean woman.
"Why?" you might ask. If I have dated predominantly white females while in the States, shouldn't I be more open to interracial marriage?
While I am open to the idea and not in any way opposed to others marrying inter-racially, I had one family experience that stood out and really changed my perceptions. Our family has relatives that live in the States as well and often we all get together in the summer and rent a vacation home together. Typically it's about 5 families, though two years ago, one family came that I had never met.
The father is somehow related to my dad and married an American woman. She is a pretty awesome person and they have several kids together. The problem though was that each night, when the kids all took off to play together and the men all hung out drinking and chatting, the women would get together as well, packing lunches for the next day and just gossiping in Korean. The American wife was out of the loop and seemed extremely uncomfortable at times. Though my mom tried to include her in the conversations, the language barrier at times between the group was too much at times. The other families were there for a week, but this family left after a few days. I'm fairly certain that the inability to communicate was part of the reason.
Regardless of how people view others' cultures or their own, people just aren't going to jump into a commitment like that without thinking about the ramifications. Or at least they should be. I can promise you that if a foreigner in a serious relationship had any interest in moving back to their home country, that the Korean should consider the social ramifications. That being said, I'm not very well versed in the Korean thinking process so until after I spend a few years in Korea, I will withhold my judgement/opinion in that regard. |
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Mix1
Joined: 08 May 2007
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| Posted: Thu May 31, 2012 5:12 am Post subject: Re: Survey on relationship on foreigners |
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[quote="tardisrider"][quote="fermentation"]
The selection method is much more important than sample size when understanding how the percentages relate to the the overall population.
The selection process needs to be random for the results to be generalizable for a given population. That's often not the case for studies like these.[/quote]
Exactly. Imagine if the sample was taken from a group of students studying international relations and had already traveled abroad a bit. Versus say...late 30's housewives and "gold miss" types. (Hmm maybe not the best example).
And lol at the european stereotype of "more romantic". It's simply just a modified and sometimes less direct strategy to get into their pants. They totally buy into that image thing though. Whatever works I guess. Yeah, British guys are "gentlemen" and Italians and Spanish are "passionate"....about getting laid. Just like everyone else. The girls here read more about them in books and magazines than they have actual experience with them. |
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northway
Joined: 05 Jul 2010
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| Posted: Thu May 31, 2012 5:27 am Post subject: |
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| sml7285 wrote: |
| Julius wrote: |
| More Koreans want to marry into a different culture because the one they live in is waaay too stressful. |
... No.
I was born in the States and have lived here for 23 years. Like most minorities growing up, I went through several identity crises. Still, after all that, I can almost guarantee you that I will marry a Korean woman.
"Why?" you might ask. If I have dated predominantly white females while in the States, shouldn't I be more open to interracial marriage?
While I am open to the idea and not in any way opposed to others marrying inter-racially, I had one family experience that stood out and really changed my perceptions. Our family has relatives that live in the States as well and often we all get together in the summer and rent a vacation home together. Typically it's about 5 families, though two years ago, one family came that I had never met.
The father is somehow related to my dad and married an American woman. She is a pretty awesome person and they have several kids together. The problem though was that each night, when the kids all took off to play together and the men all hung out drinking and chatting, the women would get together as well, packing lunches for the next day and just gossiping in Korean. The American wife was out of the loop and seemed extremely uncomfortable at times. Though my mom tried to include her in the conversations, the language barrier at times between the group was too much at times. The other families were there for a week, but this family left after a few days. I'm fairly certain that the inability to communicate was part of the reason.
Regardless of how people view others' cultures or their own, people just aren't going to jump into a commitment like that without thinking about the ramifications. Or at least they should be. I can promise you that if a foreigner in a serious relationship had any interest in moving back to their home country, that the Korean should consider the social ramifications. That being said, I'm not very well versed in the Korean thinking process so until after I spend a few years in Korea, I will withhold my judgement/opinion in that regard. |
I get where you're coming from, but I don't think the 교포 experience is really comparable to what Julius is talking about. I'm not sure how much time you've spent in Korea, but it is a very, very stressful place, and the familial obligations that are there for Korean families in the states are doubly strong for those in Korea, right down to the obligatory house and car in order to get married. As much as I disagree with Julius the vast majority of the time, he does have a point here: marrying foreigners allows for Koreans to escape from some of the many, many obligations they typically face towards their respective partners' families. This isn't to say that one way is any better than the other, and there are definitely cultural differences that can manifest into difficulties between a Korean and a foreigner, but it's not as cut and dry as you make it out to be.
As for your anecdote, that problem is a specifically American one. I love hanging out with my girlfriend's friends and family. Why? Because my Korean is good enough that I can understand much of what they're talking about and I'm able to joke around with them. Simple solution to the problem: American wife learns Korean. Now, that's not really realistic in the States, but we're not talking about the States. If you're dating a Korean long enough to get married, you should really pick up enough Korean to be conversational simply by osmosis, which renders your whole anecdote fairly moot. |
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Julius
Joined: 27 Jul 2006
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| Posted: Thu May 31, 2012 5:34 am Post subject: |
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| sml7285 wrote: |
I had one family experience that stood out and really changed my perceptions.
The American wife was out of the loop and seemed extremely uncomfortable at times. |
Duh of course she's going to be uncomfortable. Anyone would be if they are surrounded by people talking in a different language that they do not understand.
If you don't get this concept, then you really haven't travelled much in the world.
Your family are Americans, in America. You're supposed to learn English and integrate for pity's sakes. Not form ethnic enclaves to protect yourselves from reality. |
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sml7285
Joined: 26 Apr 2012
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| Posted: Thu May 31, 2012 5:39 am Post subject: |
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| northway wrote: |
| sml7285 wrote: |
| Julius wrote: |
| More Koreans want to marry into a different culture because the one they live in is waaay too stressful. |
... No.
I was born in the States and have lived here for 23 years. Like most minorities growing up, I went through several identity crises. Still, after all that, I can almost guarantee you that I will marry a Korean woman.
"Why?" you might ask. If I have dated predominantly white females while in the States, shouldn't I be more open to interracial marriage?
While I am open to the idea and not in any way opposed to others marrying inter-racially, I had one family experience that stood out and really changed my perceptions. Our family has relatives that live in the States as well and often we all get together in the summer and rent a vacation home together. Typically it's about 5 families, though two years ago, one family came that I had never met.
The father is somehow related to my dad and married an American woman. She is a pretty awesome person and they have several kids together. The problem though was that each night, when the kids all took off to play together and the men all hung out drinking and chatting, the women would get together as well, packing lunches for the next day and just gossiping in Korean. The American wife was out of the loop and seemed extremely uncomfortable at times. Though my mom tried to include her in the conversations, the language barrier at times between the group was too much at times. The other families were there for a week, but this family left after a few days. I'm fairly certain that the inability to communicate was part of the reason.
Regardless of how people view others' cultures or their own, people just aren't going to jump into a commitment like that without thinking about the ramifications. Or at least they should be. I can promise you that if a foreigner in a serious relationship had any interest in moving back to their home country, that the Korean should consider the social ramifications. That being said, I'm not very well versed in the Korean thinking process so until after I spend a few years in Korea, I will withhold my judgement/opinion in that regard. |
I get where you're coming from, but I don't think the 교포 experience is really comparable to what Julius is talking about. I'm not sure how much time you've spent in Korea, but it is a very, very stressful place, and the familial obligations that are there for Korean families in the states are doubly strong for those in Korea, right down to the obligatory house and car in order to get married. As much as I disagree with Julius the vast majority of the time, he does have a point here: marrying foreigners allows for Koreans to escape from some of the many, many obligations they typically face towards their respective partners' families. This isn't to say that one way is any better than the other, and there are definitely cultural differences that can manifest into difficulties between a Korean and a foreigner, but it's not as cut and dry as you make it out to be.
As for your anecdote, that problem is a specifically American one. I love hanging out with my girlfriend's friends and family. Why? Because my Korean is good enough that I can understand much of what they're talking about and I'm able to joke around with them. Simple solution to the problem: American wife learns Korean. Now, that's not really realistic in the States, but we're not talking about the States. If you're dating a Korean long enough to get married, you should really pick up enough Korean to be conversational simply by osmosis, which renders your whole anecdote fairly moot. |
Agreed. I've never lived in Korea, though I have visited about half a dozen times on trips ranging from 3 weeks to 3 months. I'm moving there in half a month, spending 3 weeks doing an internship at Hyundai and then entering the ROK Army. I'll be immersed into the culture at both.
And I do agree with you. Marrying a foreigner could be a less stressful than marrying a Korean as long as the couple stays in Korea. I agree that not having to put up with the traditional familial responsibilities for one side of the family would be easier than what most women are expected to do. At the same time, I think that any couple (regardless of the race) from different countries should consider how they would fare if they moved to the home country of the other. Even if I, as a 교포 who is fully conversational in Korean, were to get in a serious relationship with a Korean girl, I'd have to consider what would happen if I were to get married and move back to the States.
Long post, I know. Just finishing up with summer school and procrastinating on doing the school work for as long as I can. |
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sml7285
Joined: 26 Apr 2012
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| Posted: Thu May 31, 2012 5:47 am Post subject: |
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| Julius wrote: |
| sml7285 wrote: |
I had one family experience that stood out and really changed my perceptions.
The American wife was out of the loop and seemed extremely uncomfortable at times. |
Duh of course she's going to be uncomfortable. Anyone would be if they are surrounded by people talking in a different language that they do not understand.
If you don't get this concept, then you really haven't travelled much in the world.
Your family are Americans, in America. You're supposed to learn English and integrate for pity's sakes. Not form ethnic enclaves to protect yourselves from reality. |
We do. Did I ever say we didn't? My parents have been in the States for close to 30 years. My dad is a tenured professor of Journalism and received a Fulbright Grant a few years ago to teach in Singapore. You don't get those by "[forming] ethnic enclaves to protect yourselves from reality." My mom regularly attends and volunteers for a Presbyterian non-Korean church. I have one Korean friend. All my other friends are of different races.
Last time I checked, relatives are generally the same race as you are. Do you suggest that we shun our relatives?
I have traveled across the world. I've been on every continent except Africa and Antarctica. The passport I had before I got it renewed last year was completely filled up with visas, entry stamps and exit stamps. Trust me - I've been around the world and fully immersed myself in the cultures of others. I understand the discomfort, which is exactly what I'm getting at. |
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Steelrails
Joined: 12 Mar 2009
Location: Earth, Solar System
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| Posted: Thu May 31, 2012 3:43 pm Post subject: |
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| Julius wrote: |
| sml7285 wrote: |
I had one family experience that stood out and really changed my perceptions.
The American wife was out of the loop and seemed extremely uncomfortable at times. |
Duh of course she's going to be uncomfortable. Anyone would be if they are surrounded by people talking in a different language that they do not understand.
If you don't get this concept, then you really haven't travelled much in the world.
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Not everyone, but most will. I grew up in a very multiculti city, so as a child it was a regular experience to go to Abdullah/Min Ho/Tomoyuki/Amit/Lu/Ilya's house and at times the family would talk about things in the mother tongue while I'd be in the room. You get used to it, and if you pay attention, you might even learn some things.
I think its more reflective of some people's need to be the center of attention and the decline in listening skills and patience in our modern society. |
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VTsoi
Joined: 10 Jan 2012
Location: Seongnam, ROK
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| Posted: Thu May 31, 2012 3:49 pm Post subject: |
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| Julius wrote: |
| sml7285 wrote: |
I had one family experience that stood out and really changed my perceptions.
The American wife was out of the loop and seemed extremely uncomfortable at times. |
Duh of course she's going to be uncomfortable. Anyone would be if they are surrounded by people talking in a different language that they do not understand.
If you don't get this concept, then you really haven't travelled much in the world.
Your family are Americans, in America. You're supposed to learn English and integrate for pity's sakes. Not form ethnic enclaves to protect yourselves from reality. |
I imagine you operate in Korea like a fish swimming in water, chatting to adjumma in Korean about last night's variety shows and knocking back soju with the fellas over a plate of jokbal. Nope, you're certainly not hiding out in an enclave yourself. |
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KimchiNinja
Joined: 01 May 2012
Location: Gangnam
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| Posted: Thu May 31, 2012 4:02 pm Post subject: |
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The 72% of women "would like to date a foreigner" statistic doesn't sound real.
Perhaps in some secret fantasy world they have, but the average Korean woman 1) has no understanding of other cultures or relating, and 2) is very influenced by what society thinks of her, thus would never actually do it in real life.
Agree with the 18% have actually done it, that sounds about right. |
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