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rapier
Joined: 16 Feb 2003
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 Posted: Fri May 07, 2004 4:10 am Post subject: |
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| Homer wrote: |
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| The idea of practically raping a woman is abhorrent to me, but sometimes a K-gal expects you to be forceful. |
The fact that you seem to think that this is accurate is kind of scary in itself Rapier. |
I have the scars to prove it...not all do, but some. They're dissapointed if you don't.....anyway, thats been discussed before...lets stick to the topic in hand.
Koreans expect you to very energetically and pro-actively pursue them. Its almost as if they need a lot of re-assurance. You cannot slip up for even a moment.... its an education for the likes of me. i mean I'm used to women running after me a little bit more, but I'm older now and have to work that much harder for the same result: |
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The Man known as The Man
Joined: 29 Mar 2003
Location: 3 cheers for Ted Haggard oh yeah!
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| Posted: Fri May 07, 2004 11:27 am Post subject: |
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| Homer wrote: |
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| The idea of practically raping a woman is abhorrent to me, but sometimes a K-gal expects you to be forceful. |
The fact that you seem to think that this is accurate is kind of scary in itself Rapier. |
Homer is the perpetual apolgist for Korean society. |
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rapier
Joined: 16 Feb 2003
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| Posted: Sat May 08, 2004 3:50 am Post subject: |
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before this thread dies..a question: which approach works better with korean women do you think?
a)Just be yourself, show interest, and they'll come to you, if they're interested too.
b) Pursue them determindely and never give up. |
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The Man known as The Man
Joined: 29 Mar 2003
Location: 3 cheers for Ted Haggard oh yeah!
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| Posted: Sat May 08, 2004 6:57 am Post subject: |
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| Derrek wrote: |
One year later, I've learned just be kind and act aloof. That seems to work best.
I find that if I just act aloof and friendly, and be the strong guy they can come to when they need to talk, I get a lot more response.
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I'm not piling on, but how is it you didn't know that before you ever touched the ground in Korea? |
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matthewwoodford
Joined: 01 Oct 2003
Location: Location, location, location.
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| Posted: Sat May 08, 2004 7:03 am Post subject: |
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| katydid wrote: |
If that is the case, then I hope in the near future, Korea will owe every foreign girl that arrives here TWO boyfriends for all the years of drought, frustration, and scorn past female waygooks have had to endure.  |
Be young, slim and blonde. Then you can date any man in Korea. |
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pet lover
Joined: 02 Jan 2004
Location: not in Seoul
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| Posted: Sat May 08, 2004 7:31 am Post subject: |
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| I agree with Rapier. A male student of mine once told me about how he "had to" stalk his girlfriend for months to get her to agree to get back together with him after she broke up with him. This included attempting to climb through her bedroom window one night when she was home alone. He followed her around and threatened every man he ever saw her near. The police were even involved (though slightly as they "understood" him). He was quite proud of himself--especially since she relented and they are now married. |
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rapier
Joined: 16 Feb 2003
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| Posted: Sat May 08, 2004 8:01 am Post subject: |
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| pet lover wrote: |
| I agree with Rapier. A male student of mine once told me about how he "had to" stalk his girlfriend for months to get her to agree to get back together with him after she broke up with him. This included attempting to climb through her bedroom window one night when she was home alone. He followed her around and threatened every man he ever saw her near. The police were even involved (though slightly as they "understood" him). He was quite proud of himself--especially since she relented and they are now married. |
Thing is, women are different. I was talking to a korean girl today on how she'd like to be wooed by a prospective boyfriend. She said First you have to become good friends, and even pretend to be good friends even if you want more. After you've gotten to understand her well, after maybe a month-2 months, you could say that you like her...If she reciprocates, you become boyfriend and girlfriend...and then after a bit more time you might think about putting your arm around her..
she said korean girls don't like things to happen too quickly. they need to be persuaded and convinced by your unrelenting yet gentle attention...over time..and they don't like jealous behavior as described above.
its confusing!! I'm prepared to behave like the caveman described above if I know its what is required. But How do you know what women want????? |
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Saxiif
Joined: 15 May 2003
Location: Seongnam
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| Posted: Sat May 08, 2004 8:06 am Post subject: |
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| I don't want my future wife to be that way |
Plenty aren't that way.
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| Sure, it's common back home too, but we don't have 10,000 adult motels all over the place, either. That in itself is a big "red flag" about this culture. |
That's more of a symptom of kids living with their parents and not having any place of their own to *beep* than anything else. Although yeah there is plenty of cheating here, I think you're exaggerating.
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A relationship is actually an exhausting thing, that you have to work at constantly to keep in good shape..you can never rest, or stop trying...you have to be constantly aware of the state of play between you: forestall trouble, be responsive, etc etc etc..
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God, some of you guys seem to have had bad luck (or have chased too many beautiful head cases). If you find a really good girl you can let your guard down almost completely, its such a relief to be able to do that.
Going to meet my gf's family for the first time tomorrow  Wish me luck! |
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peppermint
Joined: 13 May 2003
Location: traversing the minefields of caddishness.
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| Posted: Sat May 08, 2004 5:02 pm Post subject: |
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| pet lover wrote: |
| I agree with Rapier. A male student of mine once told me about how he "had to" stalk his girlfriend for months to get her to agree to get back together with him after she broke up with him. This included attempting to climb through her bedroom window one night when she was home alone. He followed her around and threatened every man he ever saw her near. The police were even involved (though slightly as they "understood" him). He was quite proud of himself--especially since she relented and they are now married. |
That is the scariest thing I've ever read on this forum. |
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Harin
Joined: 03 May 2004
Location: Garden of Eden
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| Posted: Sat May 08, 2004 5:10 pm Post subject: |
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| peppermint wrote: |
| pet lover wrote: |
| I agree with Rapier. A male student of mine once told me about how he "had to" stalk his girlfriend for months to get her to agree to get back together with him after she broke up with him. This included attempting to climb through her bedroom window one night when she was home alone. He followed her around and threatened every man he ever saw her near. The police were even involved (though slightly as they "understood" him). He was quite proud of himself--especially since she relented and they are now married. |
That is the scariest thing I've ever read on this forum. |
I agree with you. That poor girl probably did not have any other choices. |
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katydid
Joined: 02 Feb 2003
Location: Here kitty kitty kitty...
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| Posted: Sat May 08, 2004 5:41 pm Post subject: |
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| matthewwoodford wrote: |
| katydid wrote: |
| If that is the case, then I hope in the near future, Korea will owe every foreign girl that arrives here TWO boyfriends for all the years of drought, frustration, and scorn past female waygooks have had to endure. |
Be young, slim and blonde. Then you can date any man in Korea. |
I am.  |
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pet lover
Joined: 02 Jan 2004
Location: not in Seoul
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| Posted: Sat May 08, 2004 8:29 pm Post subject: |
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| I've met her. They have two kids now. She seemed very happy, though highly embarrassed when she found out I'd heard the story. And yes, I DID ask him what he'd do if someone treated his daughter the way he had treated his wife when they were "dating". He didn't answer. |
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matthewwoodford
Joined: 01 Oct 2003
Location: Location, location, location.
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| Posted: Sun May 09, 2004 6:31 am Post subject: |
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| katydid wrote: |
| matthewwoodford wrote: |
| katydid wrote: |
| If that is the case, then I hope in the near future, Korea will owe every foreign girl that arrives here TWO boyfriends for all the years of drought, frustration, and scorn past female waygooks have had to endure. |
Be young, slim and blonde. Then you can date any man in Korea. |
I am. |
And you mean you can't have any guy - or two guys - twined around your little finger? Guess I was wrong...Sorry. |
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matthewwoodford
Joined: 01 Oct 2003
Location: Location, location, location.
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| Posted: Sun May 09, 2004 6:36 am Post subject: |
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| rapier wrote: |
Thing is, women are different. I was talking to a korean girl today on how she'd like to be wooed by a prospective boyfriend. She said First you have to become good friends, and even pretend to be good friends even if you want more. After you've gotten to understand her well, after maybe a month-2 months, you could say that you like her...If she reciprocates, you become boyfriend and girlfriend...and then after a bit more time you might think about putting your arm around her..
she said korean girls don't like things to happen too quickly. they need to be persuaded and convinced by your unrelenting yet gentle attention...over time..and they don't like jealous behavior as described above.
its confusing!! I'm prepared to behave like the caveman described above if I know its what is required. But How do you know what women want????? |
Hopefully she was merely lieing. I mean come on, how can you take that garbage seriously? If she was serious then forget about going out with her!!!! |
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TommyPickles
Joined: 19 Apr 2004
Location: Australia
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| Posted: Sun May 09, 2004 6:47 am Post subject: |
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Agreed. Rapier, don't waste your time. By the time you do all of that garbage, she's slept around with five of your best mates. My suggestion: ask them for advice instead.
Cheers,
TommyPickles |
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