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Korean Job Discussion Forums
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Harpeau
Joined: 01 Feb 2003
Location: Coquitlam, BC
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 Posted: Tue Oct 22, 2013 6:22 pm Post subject: |
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A good book that I want to recommend is THE DEPRESSION CURE - The 6 - Step Program to Beat Depression Without Drugs, by Stephen S. Ilardi. It's an awesome book!
I hope that you find what you are looking for.
www.harpo.ca |
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ThingsComeAround
Joined: 07 Nov 2008
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| Posted: Tue Oct 22, 2013 7:20 pm Post subject: |
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Damn, OP you ARE depressing.
Why are you in Korea in the first place? And how long if you didn't like it, why didn't you or why can't you leave?
I agree that these problems will not go away unless you deal with them first.
I smell a troll |
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jg
Joined: 27 May 2003
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| Posted: Wed Oct 23, 2013 9:42 am Post subject: |
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OP,
You are getting reasonable responses, both the criticisms of your approach and the solutions to your "problem". Your reply to the reasonable solutions is "yes but..." which is a negative game.
"Go make friends at X place" - you reply, "yes, but"
"Accentuate the positive" - yes, but...
"Stop criticizing" - yes, but...
I suspect what you really want is for this thread to play out with your having shot down all advice, then you can feel doubly marginalized - no solace to be had among either foreigners or Koreans. You ought to be careful, what you are doing is a recipe for real mental ruin, and little good can come of it.
I read a book called "Games People Play" which discusses transaction analysis... basically people seek a certain outcome and then do everything they can to see that it comes true. Think about why you always have the same results. It is possible that everyone else around you is worthy of hate, but why would you want to stay in a place like that? The stronger likelihood is that you are doing something harmful, not to others but to yourself.
Good luck, you are going to need it. |
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Weigookin74
Joined: 26 Oct 2009
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| Posted: Wed Oct 23, 2013 5:45 pm Post subject: Re: Rant of a female university student in Korea |
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| crescent wrote: |
I don't quite understand this part:
| blackinque wrote: |
knowing I am not welcome in this type of society until I decide to adhere to its strict rules.
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I'm of the opinion that no foreigner will ever be truly welcome in this society unless he or she:
a) becomes a TV clown
b) champions a Korean national cause
So, what rules do you think you need to be compliant to in order to help your cause?
I've been here 10 years, and it's the very fact that I spit in the face of their rules that gives me power. Someone throws BS at me and I'll throw it right back. Yeah....That.... and the fact that I can leave at any time. |
Just tell 'em that Japan sucks and that Dokdo will always belong to Korea. Shout that loud with anger and emotion and you'll have made Korean friends for life.  |
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Weigookin74
Joined: 26 Oct 2009
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| Posted: Wed Oct 23, 2013 5:46 pm Post subject: |
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| Harpeau wrote: |
A good book that I want to recommend is THE DEPRESSION CURE - The 6 - Step Program to Beat Depression Without Drugs, by Stephen S. Ilardi. It's an awesome book!
I hope that you find what you are looking for.
www.harpo.ca |
Quit depression = leave Korea and move to a place where the rules of common sense reign supreme?  |
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TheUrbanMyth
Joined: 28 Jan 2003
Location: Retired
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| Posted: Wed Oct 23, 2013 5:57 pm Post subject: |
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| Weigookin74 wrote: |
| Harpeau wrote: |
A good book that I want to recommend is THE DEPRESSION CURE - The 6 - Step Program to Beat Depression Without Drugs, by Stephen S. Ilardi. It's an awesome book!
I hope that you find what you are looking for.
www.harpo.ca |
Quit depression = leave Korea and move to a place where the rules of common sense reign supreme? |
In that case you'd have to leave Earth.  |
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KimchiNinja
Joined: 01 May 2012
Location: Gangnam
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| Posted: Wed Oct 23, 2013 6:14 pm Post subject: |
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| ^ Dave's is on fire. We still got the magic... |
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hiamnotcool
Joined: 06 Feb 2012
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| Posted: Wed Oct 23, 2013 7:10 pm Post subject: |
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| rabidcake wrote: |
I'm sorry OP, but I believe your difficulties are coming from yourself more so than the Korean culture you are in.
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I would say it's both. I wouldn't say her life will continue being miserable wherever she goes. Korea has a pretty distinct culture and some people just don't mix well in it. It's not a bad culture, but it's a pretty black and white culture on the surface and if you don't see things the same way as the majority life will probably be hard for you here. I don't really like seeing perfectly normal and functional people come here only to become convinced there is something wrong with them because they just never really found their place within Korea.
Sounds like OP invested a lot of time and effort here and realized it's just not the place for her when it was already too late. That being said the obvious answer is to finish your degree. School doesn't really have to be fun or exciting. It's miserable for a lot of people but you get on with it because you want to make that money. One year is a long time but it would be stupid to waste those three years of misery and just withdraw now. Unless you are on the verge of a literal mental breakdown or severe depression that would lead to suicide, I recommend sticking it out.
Find a nice hobby, try to join a club with similar interests, keep to yourself, and just wait for the year to pass. Then get on with your life. |
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Steelrails
Joined: 12 Mar 2009
Location: Earth, Solar System
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| Posted: Wed Oct 23, 2013 8:28 pm Post subject: |
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To those people who come over and are surprised by everything- WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU EXPECTING? DID YOU NOT DO ANY RESEARCH?
All the negatives out there are a 20 minute internet search away. No reason to be surprised. |
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hiamnotcool
Joined: 06 Feb 2012
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| Posted: Wed Oct 23, 2013 8:39 pm Post subject: |
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| Steelrails wrote: |
To those people who come over and are surprised by everything- WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU EXPECTING? DID YOU NOT DO ANY RESEARCH?
All the negatives out there are a 20 minute internet search away. No reason to be surprised. |
Those negatives are out there, but they are usually met with people trying to claim they don't exist here. I have things I experience at least once or twice a week, and if I posted them on here people would come back and call me a liar or claim I am doing it to myself. I really like Korea and I like living here but I feel like there is an attempt to conceal some of the bad parts of the culture that ends up hurting visitors more than it helps them if they end up staying here long term. I don't know, I feel like it's way too easy for people to come here and not know what they are in for. I actually see it happen all the time. |
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Steelrails
Joined: 12 Mar 2009
Location: Earth, Solar System
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| Posted: Thu Oct 24, 2013 8:06 pm Post subject: |
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I think a lot of it happens because A) Young people are stupid, lazy, and spoiled B) Double that for Americans and others who basically have never been a minority and raised to assume that their country is the greatest and that the whole world aspires to global democratic ideals, and C) Are often woefully ignorant of foreign cultures and base them on TV/Movie stereotypes.
There was a line in the embassy guide about teaching in S.Korea that went something like this- Some people come, expecting to be revered, and are stunned to find themselves isolated or ignored.
If I was going to move to Chile or Poland or Jordan, I would spend upwards of 6 months to a year getting acquainted with the place- Geography, politics, national hobbies, food, celebrities, music, literature, movies, and most importantly- talking and meeting with some people from that country and getting a good sense of what goes on there and what they are like. |
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KimchiNinja
Joined: 01 May 2012
Location: Gangnam
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| Posted: Thu Oct 24, 2013 8:53 pm Post subject: |
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| Steelrails wrote: |
| I think a lot of it happens because A) Young people are stupid, lazy, and spoiled B) Double that for Americans and others who basically have never been a minority and raised to assume that their country is the greatest and that the whole world aspires to global democratic ideals, and C) Are often woefully ignorant of foreign cultures and base them on TV/Movie stereotypes. |
Haha, don't hold back, feel free to be blunt.
Yeah basically that. |
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hiamnotcool
Joined: 06 Feb 2012
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| Posted: Thu Oct 24, 2013 11:13 pm Post subject: |
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| KimchiNinja wrote: |
| Steelrails wrote: |
| I think a lot of it happens because A) Young people are stupid, lazy, and spoiled B) Double that for Americans and others who basically have never been a minority and raised to assume that their country is the greatest and that the whole world aspires to global democratic ideals, and C) Are often woefully ignorant of foreign cultures and base them on TV/Movie stereotypes. |
Haha, don't hold back, feel free to be blunt.
Yeah basically that. |
No not at all. Actually this just makes my point that people depict Korea in an unrealistic light to foreigners.
And I like how you post that on a thread that is about someone in Korea that...
1. speaks Korean
2. taking classes at a Korean university for 3 years
3. only has Korean classmates
Yeah that is obviously someone that came from the USA without doing their homework. It must be entirely her fault that she is isolated. Nothing to do with the fact that she is just in one of the most homogenous and xenophobic cultures on the planet.
It sounds more like you just wanted to take the opportunity to change the topic of this thread from people trying to give advice to a college student to a rant about spoiled american ESL teachers in Korea.
It basically comes down the way people judge anyone that is unhappy in Korea in a negative way. People do their research but then they have posters like you on forums claiming it's always the victims fault. That's not the case. But that is why you have so many people come here that are oblivious to some of the situations they may end up finding themselves in. |
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Steelrails
Joined: 12 Mar 2009
Location: Earth, Solar System
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| Posted: Fri Oct 25, 2013 1:23 am Post subject: |
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Okay, to take it back a bit, I'm not saying that ALL who experience problems failed to do due diligence.I'm just saying that its a lot more likely for someone to feel that way if they failed to inform and prepare themselves.Of course, the thread about "Gyopos- who else is frustrated" says that its not wholly about information and research.
If I can relate it to a recent whathaveyou in the news, I'd equate it to Emily Yoffe's article on alcohol and rape for campus women. Now, no one is blaming women who get drunk for rape, just that if you don't want to get raped, probably a good idea not to get blackout drunk. Same with Korea, not blaming the victim for Korean racism, but if you don't want to get blindsided about Korea, its a good idea not to come over in total ignorance. |
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hiamnotcool
Joined: 06 Feb 2012
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| Posted: Fri Oct 25, 2013 3:51 am Post subject: |
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| Steelrails wrote: |
Okay, to take it back a bit, I'm not saying that ALL who experience problems failed to do due diligence.I'm just saying that its a lot more likely for someone to feel that way if they failed to inform and prepare themselves.Of course, the thread about "Gyopos- who else is frustrated" says that its not wholly about information and research.
If I can relate it to a recent whathaveyou in the news, I'd equate it to Emily Yoffe's article on alcohol and rape for campus women. Now, no one is blaming women who get drunk for rape, just that if you don't want to get raped, probably a good idea not to get blackout drunk. Same with Korea, not blaming the victim for Korean racism, but if you don't want to get blindsided about Korea, its a good idea not to come over in total ignorance. |
What you were saying is not related to the thread.
You have any advice for OP? Or would you rather write a few more paragraphs about how spoiled american english teachers? |
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