Korean Job Discussion Forums

[wonkavite62]

I am in a small city far from Seoul. I came last April and it's only relatively recently that Koreans have started talking to me. Now I've noticed a pattern. I may be in the middle of a conversation, about another topic and out of the blue, some Korean guy will ask: "Are you married?" I say "no" and then if I meet them later they will ask me the same question again even though they know the answer. They might also ask "Why aren't you married?" and people keep asking periodically. I suppose they want me to tell them I'm as queer as a 3-dollar bill. The other big question is about age, and even people who know better will ask that question again and again. I am probably the only foreign teacher over 30 in my town.
I don't have a girlfriend. If I had a girlfriend, I suppose these same Koreans would keep on asking me why we don't get married.
I am interested to find out if you people get the same treatment. What other annoying questions do you get? There must be others. I am sure I am not the only foreigner in this country who gets asked the same questions repeatedly.

[cdninkorea]

They do it to each other, too. At many Chuseok & Seollnal family gatherings, here's how the incessant interrogation and down your throat advice-ramming sessions go:

When a young Korean is in…

High school: "What university are you going to go to? You should study hard so you can go to Seoul National University and study (major)" for days on end.
University: "What are you going to do after graduation? You should work for a big company/go to medical school" for days on end.
Newly employed: "When are you going to get married? You should do so and so to get a good husband/wife" for days on end.
Newly married: "When are you going to have kids? Why haven't you yet?" for days on end.

Then, when the young Korean has a bunch of nieces and nephews under him/her, the cycle repeats.

[CentralCali]

For the decade total I spent in Korea, I followed the same policy I had in Japan, Germany, back in the US, and here in China: I don't answer when people ask me rude questions. I simply ignore the question and continue the conversation as though they had not asked the rude question.

[Chaparrastique]

[radcon]

When they ask me "why aren't you married?" I just throw right back at them "why ARE you married?" It usually throws them for a loop.

[fermentation]

At my age, I get asked why I don't have a girlfriend. I'm so sick of it I just tell them I want to bang as many chicks as possible without cheating.

Koreans have a habit of asking questions westerners would deem personal. They also have the habit of asking the same question everytime they see you. A guy know asks me what school I go to and what I study every single time I see him. I'm sure I told him about 6 times already. I'm gonna start giving a different answer every time now. My own father does the same thing with different topics. I wonder if they just ask these questions just to talk rather than out of genuine interest.

[joeteacher]

I used to teach a "mom's" class for about two years and had about 20 in the group. I would say that about 25% of them were happily married. So when people ask if you are married, perhaps they are just asking if you are a miserable as them.

Don't get too sensitive a about it. It's annoying, yes, but just say "I don't know" and move on.

[wonkavite62]

And if I was married they would want to know why I didn't have children. If I had children they would want to know why the kids weren't going to CDI or the kumon maths hagwon. And on and on and on...

[LPKSA]

[Lucas]

[Stan Rogers]

Maybe they are trying to find out if you're gay.

[Weigookin74]

[LPKSA]

[Stan Rogers]

So why is it that you unmarried guys are afraid to come out? Its fashionable now.

[oatmeal]

i just tell them i have a wife and kids back home and then they leave me alone.