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Sesame
Joined: 16 Mar 2014
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 Posted: Sun Jul 20, 2014 6:01 pm Post subject: |
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| Mr. BlackCat wrote: |
Let's be honest, Korean children are babied and never forced to mature into respectable young adults. The whining, complaining, temper tantrums, entitlement and fits of rage are never stamped out and only encouraged through positive reenforcement.
A few years ago I decided to buy a treat for my afterschool class. At the end of class I asked them to line up without telling them I had the treats. The 4-5th grade boys and girls came and lined up. The 6th grade boys didn't because they were 'too cool', I guess. So I take out the box of treats. When the 6th grade boys see it they run and push to the front of the line and DEMAND the treats immediately. I tell them a) get to the back of the line; and b) you'll have to ask nicer than that. They refused to move, so I refused to give them anything. They started yelling at me and whining and crying and being ridiculous, but I wouldn't budge. Finally they went back to their seats to sulk. I gave out the treats to everyone else who then left, but these boys just sat there giving me the evil eye and mumbling under their breath. I told them if they came and asked nicely (as the other students did) they could still have a treat. They refused, said some nasty words to me and stormed out. I didn't really care, par for the course with spoiled Korean children.
The next day my co-teacher tells me these three boys will be quitting my class because I 'disrespected' them. I just laughed and laughed. I told her that I didn't disrespect them, I just refused to be disrespected by them (which I guess is the same thing in Korea. See also: calling out people for rude behaviour in public here). When I told her the story she got all serious and told me I should have served them first because they were older, that their feeling are so hurt and I should apologize immediately. I laughed some more. Listen, I bought some treats out of my own pocket. It's my choice who gets them at all. I gave them every opportunity to have some, but they can't disrespect me or the other students and still get served first. I was called 'cruel'.
Anyway, for weeks those boys would walk into class and give me the evil eye and refused to do anything I asked. In the hallways and outside they would always mumble under their breath when I went by and said hello. Can you imagine? 12 year old boys holding a grudge for weeks expecting a teacher/adult to apologize to them for not giving them treats fast enough! Oh, Korea, land of inflated egos that start inflating before they can even say their first words.
I should also add that while these 12 year old boys were demanding to be served first they started crying and throwing fits. Like, full on balling. I told them, and later my CT, that any 12 year old boy in my day who was seen balling like that for any reason would have been mocked endlessly. That just made them cry more. And made me laugh more. Sorry, that sort of stuff is natural from a 5 year old. When 12 year olds are doing it, it's been conditioned in them after years of getting spoiled and treated like babies. |
Good on you Mr. Blackcat for trying to teach these kids values (which is also part of a teachers responsibility btw.) I don't care about Korean culture, you taught them WORLD VALUES. These are universal. You respect the adult and teacher, you don't run and cut in line and if you don't follow the rules set by the adult, you don't get the reward (candy in your case.)
lol it's funny that your co-teacher spoke to you about their age and being older so they were entitled to barge in and cut in line and call the shots, but YOU being twice or three times their age don't have those same "age privileges" and demand they listen to you? Who's the person in charge here?
You aren't Korean. You aren't to be respected, and you are lower than them actually (in all honesty) on the totem pole.
In Korea it goes:
-Grandparents
-Adults
-Strangers
-Kids
-Cleaning ajumma
-Recycling ajusshis
-(Korean) bums
.
.
.
.
.
-Stranger Foreigners
-ESL teachers |
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EZE
Joined: 05 May 2012
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| Posted: Mon Jul 21, 2014 4:37 am Post subject: |
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| Stain wrote: |
| Steelrails wrote: |
| EZE wrote: |
The thing I do when boys and girls hit each other is similar to what my 2nd grade teacher told me and a female classmate when we were arguing. My teacher said my classmate and I were "lovebirds" and that's why we always argued like a husband and wife. We stopped arguing. So I use a similar routine:
"You know what it means when you hit each other, right? (a pause of silence) It means fifteen years from now, in 2029, you two will ***hums "Here Comes the Bride" while the rest of the class bursts into laughter*** That's the way it always ends up!
It works the same in 2014 as it did in the early 1980s. A timeless strategy.  |
This man speaks wise. |
It does work wonders. Try it when two boys fight. It works even better. |
Yeah. "No holding hands, Romeo and Juliet!"  |
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EZE
Joined: 05 May 2012
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| Posted: Mon Jul 21, 2014 4:45 am Post subject: |
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| Mr. BlackCat wrote: |
| I should also add that while these 12 year old boys were demanding to be served first they started crying and throwing fits. Like, full on balling. |
Wow, what was the treat?!  Were you in the city? Surely it wasn't countryboys, unless we've gone soft too...
I think the part about the 6th graders being older was just a rule she made up as she was talking out of her ass. Even if it had been the 4th graders who jumped line, demanding and crying, you would have still been 100% in the wrong in her eyes. That I can guarantee you, but I'm not telling you anything you don't already know, I'm sure. |
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fermentation
Joined: 22 Jun 2009
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| Posted: Mon Jul 21, 2014 9:44 pm Post subject: |
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| What I don't get it is why the OP tolerates such childish behavior from his wife. |
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andrewchon
Joined: 16 Nov 2008
Location: Back in Oz. Living in ISIS Aust.
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| Posted: Tue Jul 22, 2014 1:30 am Post subject: |
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| fermentation wrote: |
| What I don't get it is why the OP tolerates such childish behavior from his wife. |
Perhaps he's a co-dependant to narcisistic personality disorder. Co-dependants always hope that the abuser will 'see-the-light' someday. let me quote Dr. Phil: "They never do". As for breaking the cycle: seek professional help. |
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BigBuds
Joined: 15 Sep 2005
Location: Changwon
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| Posted: Tue Jul 22, 2014 1:40 am Post subject: Re: Can someone explain this Aspect of Korean Culture to me |
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| Sesame wrote: |
It's manipulating as hell but seems to work.
A girl came over to a boy and looks at his phone, and instead of telling her to go away, he picks it up and smacks her over the head for it.
She starts to cry (these are 13 year olds) and goes back and sits down. The boy, who clearly was the aggressor then sits back down and goes into hyper silent aggression mode. Sulks, wont talk to her after SHE APOLOGIZES and basically turns the table around on her and was mad at her. It worked.
This is not th first time i've witnessed this. My wife will do it from time to time also. I should blow up on her for something she did, but then she gets mad.
It's so childish. |
My wife has done this to me too. She now knows that shit doesn't fly with me. |
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KimchiNinja
Joined: 01 May 2012
Location: Gangnam
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| Posted: Sat Aug 16, 2014 8:54 pm Post subject: Re: Can someone explain this Aspect of Korean Culture to me |
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| Sesame wrote: |
| A girl came over to a boy and looks at his phone, and instead of telling her to go away, he picks it up and smacks her over the head for it. |
Universal human behavior, males don't like people messing with their stuff. |
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Cave Dweller
Joined: 17 Aug 2014
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2014 11:31 pm Post subject: |
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I have always gotten along with my Korean co-workers. I have had way more problems with other waygooks. I guess I am not 'hip' enough because I don't want to go out on the weekend and get shitfaced and harass the locals.
The only K co-worker that I can't get along with is one of my current co-teachers. She's just an ignorant cow so I ignore her cold shoulder.
I have at times been disrespected by kids who thought the waygook whitey teacher doesn't deserve the same respect but if I informed a co-teacher of this or if they disrespect me in front of co-teacher, she (usually a woman) will quickly correct them and let the kids know I am to be respected on an equal level of other teachers.
I don't give a fig if they bow to me or whatever. I just expect not to be talked down to.
| Sesame wrote: |
| Mr. BlackCat wrote: |
Let's be honest, Korean children are babied and never forced to mature into respectable young adults. The whining, complaining, temper tantrums, entitlement and fits of rage are never stamped out and only encouraged through positive reenforcement.
A few years ago I decided to buy a treat for my afterschool class. At the end of class I asked them to line up without telling them I had the treats. The 4-5th grade boys and girls came and lined up. The 6th grade boys didn't because they were 'too cool', I guess. So I take out the box of treats. When the 6th grade boys see it they run and push to the front of the line and DEMAND the treats immediately. I tell them a) get to the back of the line; and b) you'll have to ask nicer than that. They refused to move, so I refused to give them anything. They started yelling at me and whining and crying and being ridiculous, but I wouldn't budge. Finally they went back to their seats to sulk. I gave out the treats to everyone else who then left, but these boys just sat there giving me the evil eye and mumbling under their breath. I told them if they came and asked nicely (as the other students did) they could still have a treat. They refused, said some nasty words to me and stormed out. I didn't really care, par for the course with spoiled Korean children.
The next day my co-teacher tells me these three boys will be quitting my class because I 'disrespected' them. I just laughed and laughed. I told her that I didn't disrespect them, I just refused to be disrespected by them (which I guess is the same thing in Korea. See also: calling out people for rude behaviour in public here). When I told her the story she got all serious and told me I should have served them first because they were older, that their feeling are so hurt and I should apologize immediately. I laughed some more. Listen, I bought some treats out of my own pocket. It's my choice who gets them at all. I gave them every opportunity to have some, but they can't disrespect me or the other students and still get served first. I was called 'cruel'.
Anyway, for weeks those boys would walk into class and give me the evil eye and refused to do anything I asked. In the hallways and outside they would always mumble under their breath when I went by and said hello. Can you imagine? 12 year old boys holding a grudge for weeks expecting a teacher/adult to apologize to them for not giving them treats fast enough! Oh, Korea, land of inflated egos that start inflating before they can even say their first words.
I should also add that while these 12 year old boys were demanding to be served first they started crying and throwing fits. Like, full on balling. I told them, and later my CT, that any 12 year old boy in my day who was seen balling like that for any reason would have been mocked endlessly. That just made them cry more. And made me laugh more. Sorry, that sort of stuff is natural from a 5 year old. When 12 year olds are doing it, it's been conditioned in them after years of getting spoiled and treated like babies. |
Good on you Mr. Blackcat for trying to teach these kids values (which is also part of a teachers responsibility btw.) I don't care about Korean culture, you taught them WORLD VALUES. These are universal. You respect the adult and teacher, you don't run and cut in line and if you don't follow the rules set by the adult, you don't get the reward (candy in your case.)
lol it's funny that your co-teacher spoke to you about their age and being older so they were entitled to barge in and cut in line and call the shots, but YOU being twice or three times their age don't have those same "age privileges" and demand they listen to you? Who's the person in charge here?
You aren't Korean. You aren't to be respected, and you are lower than them actually (in all honesty) on the totem pole.
In Korea it goes:
-Grandparents
-Adults
-Strangers
-Kids
-Cleaning ajumma
-Recycling ajusshis
-(Korean) bums
.
.
.
.
.
-Stranger Foreigners
-ESL teachers |
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