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Captain Corea
Joined: 28 Feb 2005
Location: Seoul
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 Posted: Fri Sep 26, 2014 3:57 pm Post subject: |
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That's what frustrate me as well. Talk to most Koreans, and you'll get an earful of what they think good manners and public behavior are. But ask if they ever call someone on it, and it's a resounding NOPE.
An example in my family is... FIL (really decent bloke by all standards) does some (by today's standards) rude behavior in public. My wife tells him to stop. He responds with "you're my daughter, you shouldn't correct me".
So even though all around, likely including my FIL, knows it's "wrong", it's more wrong to correct him.  |
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Steelrails
Joined: 12 Mar 2009
Location: Earth, Solar System
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| Posted: Fri Sep 26, 2014 8:52 pm Post subject: |
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| Captain Corea wrote: |
So even though all around, likely including my FIL, knows it's "wrong", it's more wrong to correct him. |
To sorta play Devil's advocate, the libertarian in me understands that. They have a right to eat in that way and that right does supersede my right to not be around it. Freedom of expression and all. I mean on a family level sure, but with coworkers or friends, do I really have the authority to tell someone else how to eat? Don't they in turn have the right to demand from me certain behaviors which I don't want to alter? Wouldn't that just dissolve into tit for tat demands on eating behavior? |
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Captain Corea
Joined: 28 Feb 2005
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Sat Sep 27, 2014 12:26 am Post subject: |
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I think I've posted on here before that I've dropped friends because of this.. or just dropped dining with them. If they're going to chew with their mouth open and have food spitting at me, or leave enough of their meal on the floor around them that it looks like an animal trough, I'll be sure to limit my dining exposure with them.
I may not be able to STOP their behavior, but I sure as heck can mitigate how much it damages my enjoyment. If they ever ask, I tell them straight out - and that's for foreigners of koreans alike. |
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cdninkorea
Joined: 27 Jan 2006
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Sat Sep 27, 2014 3:01 am Post subject: |
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| Cave Dweller wrote: |
If the generally accepted attitude was that eating with your mouth open was acceptable or 'Korean culture', I'd accept it.
The part that I used to find aggrevating but now find amusing is, almost every Korean you talk to will say 'No, in Korea, eating with your mouth full/making chomping noises is not Korean culture, it is rude.' It is even funnier when they tell you Koreans don't do it, |
Argh! That drives me nuts! I don't usually complain about Korea to Koreans anymore because, well, what's the point? But when I did, it wasn't cathartic at all because most of the time, all I got were blank looks. Even when I could point to a person doing something at that very moment (like if we were outside), the best I'd get is "well, she's old. Most people don't do that." (as if "old people" were some tiny minority) |
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joelove
Joined: 12 May 2011
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| Posted: Sat Sep 27, 2014 3:07 am Post subject: |
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| jvalmer wrote: |
| Well, practically everything is cultural |
So it seems. Aren't you and me basically put together by influence and not free entities? We like to think we are separate individuals and all that, we've even based our whole outlook on this, but essentially we are a result of influences and conditioning, and it grates us when we go to other countries and see that other people are also a result that differs from ours, but fundamentally are the same, in that they are a result.
Sorry, just felt like parroting some philosophy I picked up somewhere. |
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KimchiNinja
Joined: 01 May 2012
Location: Gangnam
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| Posted: Mon Sep 29, 2014 2:52 am Post subject: |
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| SHGator428 wrote: |
| KimchiNinja wrote: |
| Western women don't turn their head to the side when they drink in front of me...it's so disrespectful, when are they going to change their barbaric ways?? |
Why would they? For that matter, why would anyone do that in front of you? |
Why would anyone say "bless you" after someone sneezes, it serves no purpose. Why would Germans believe you should keep your elbows off the table top. Why would Koreans believe you should make a "jap jap" sound when food is good. Why would Westerners believe you should keep your mouth closed when chewing.
Welcome to traveling the world and cultural differences 101. Shocking as it may sound your peculiar customs are not universal.  |
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SHGator428
Joined: 05 Sep 2014
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| Posted: Mon Sep 29, 2014 4:08 am Post subject: |
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| KimchiNinja wrote: |
| SHGator428 wrote: |
| KimchiNinja wrote: |
| Western women don't turn their head to the side when they drink in front of me...it's so disrespectful, when are they going to change their barbaric ways?? |
Why would they? For that matter, why would anyone do that in front of you? |
Why would anyone say "bless you" after someone sneezes, it serves no purpose. Why would Germans believe you should keep your elbows off the table top. Why would Koreans believe you should make a "jap jap" sound when food is good. Why would Westerners believe you should keep your mouth closed when chewing.
Welcome to traveling the world and cultural differences 101. Shocking as it may sound your peculiar customs are not universal. |
Again, why would anyone do that in front of YOU specifically? |
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KimchiNinja
Joined: 01 May 2012
Location: Gangnam
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| Posted: Mon Sep 29, 2014 6:05 pm Post subject: |
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| SHGator428 wrote: |
| KimchiNinja wrote: |
| SHGator428 wrote: |
| KimchiNinja wrote: |
| Western women don't turn their head to the side when they drink in front of me...it's so disrespectful, when are they going to change their barbaric ways?? |
Why would they? For that matter, why would anyone do that in front of you? |
Why would anyone say "bless you" after someone sneezes, it serves no purpose. Why would Germans believe you should keep your elbows off the table top. Why would Koreans believe you should make a "jap jap" sound when food is good. Why would Westerners believe you should keep your mouth closed when chewing.
Welcome to traveling the world and cultural differences 101. Shocking as it may sound your peculiar customs are not universal. |
Again, why would anyone do that in front of YOU specifically? |
Umm, because it is the custom here, specifically because I am older. |
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Cave Dweller
Joined: 17 Aug 2014
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Mon Sep 29, 2014 11:39 pm Post subject: |
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I think a lot of customs are not followed with us despite our age but foreigners simply do not fit well into the Confuscianism model that Korea follows.
Example: Anyone here who dates a Korean lady, does she call you 오빠? Assuming you are older. Fair enough, if you told her that you don't like being called that, good for you, but that is the custom. By saying 'He is not Korean, so I won't call him that' is being the opposite of inclusive.
| KimchiNinja wrote: |
| SHGator428 wrote: |
| KimchiNinja wrote: |
| SHGator428 wrote: |
| KimchiNinja wrote: |
| Western women don't turn their head to the side when they drink in front of me...it's so disrespectful, when are they going to change their barbaric ways?? |
Why would they? For that matter, why would anyone do that in front of you? |
Why would anyone say "bless you" after someone sneezes, it serves no purpose. Why would Germans believe you should keep your elbows off the table top. Why would Koreans believe you should make a "jap jap" sound when food is good. Why would Westerners believe you should keep your mouth closed when chewing.
Welcome to traveling the world and cultural differences 101. Shocking as it may sound your peculiar customs are not universal. |
Again, why would anyone do that in front of YOU specifically? |
Umm, because it is the custom here, specifically because I am older. |
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KimchiNinja
Joined: 01 May 2012
Location: Gangnam
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| Posted: Tue Sep 30, 2014 12:00 am Post subject: |
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LOL, I don't even know what we are talking about anymore.  |
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SHGator428
Joined: 05 Sep 2014
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| Posted: Tue Sep 30, 2014 4:14 am Post subject: |
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| KimchiNinja wrote: |
| LOL, I don't even know what we are talking about anymore. |
Isn't that the point of posting here? |
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Chaparrastique
Joined: 01 Jan 2014
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| Posted: Tue Sep 30, 2014 4:35 pm Post subject: |
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| Captain Corea wrote: |
An example in my family is... FIL (really decent bloke by all standards) does some (by today's standards) rude behavior in public. My wife tells him to stop. He responds with "you're my daughter, you shouldn't correct me".
So even though all around, likely including my FIL, knows it's "wrong", it's more wrong to correct him. |
They still believe the laws of Confucian relationships supersede all other considerations.
There will be little social advancement or social justice here until they discard this prehistoric mentality. |
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Steelrails
Joined: 12 Mar 2009
Location: Earth, Solar System
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| Posted: Tue Sep 30, 2014 4:41 pm Post subject: |
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| Captain Corea wrote: |
I think I've posted on here before that I've dropped friends because of this.. or just dropped dining with them. If they're going to chew with their mouth open and have food spitting at me, or leave enough of their meal on the floor around them that it looks like an animal trough, I'll be sure to limit my dining exposure with them.
I may not be able to STOP their behavior, but I sure as heck can mitigate how much it damages my enjoyment. If they ever ask, I tell them straight out - and that's for foreigners of koreans alike. |
I understand its your call and there's probably something I find revolting that would cause me to drop friendships as well, but in the end, is what they are doing TRULY that bad? What if aside from atrocious eating habits they are wonderful human beings in every other aspect? What if they are loyal, honest, charitable, gentle to children and animals, just, etc.? Does slurping soup or eating with their mouth open supersede all of that?
I understand the fairness of your position, but I find it a tad...harsh? I wonder what I do that irks people and doubtless there is at least one thing I do that does, and I presume everyone does. Yet friends still stay around me i spite of that. I hope to do the same for them. |
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SHGator428
Joined: 05 Sep 2014
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| Posted: Tue Sep 30, 2014 4:47 pm Post subject: |
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| Steelrails wrote: |
| Captain Corea wrote: |
I think I've posted on here before that I've dropped friends because of this.. or just dropped dining with them. If they're going to chew with their mouth open and have food spitting at me, or leave enough of their meal on the floor around them that it looks like an animal trough, I'll be sure to limit my dining exposure with them.
I may not be able to STOP their behavior, but I sure as heck can mitigate how much it damages my enjoyment. If they ever ask, I tell them straight out - and that's for foreigners of koreans alike. |
I understand its your call and there's probably something I find revolting that would cause me to drop friendships as well, but in the end, is what they are doing TRULY that bad? What if aside from atrocious eating habits they are wonderful human beings in every other aspect? What if they are loyal, honest, charitable, gentle to children and animals, just, etc.? Does slurping soup or eating with their mouth open supersede all of that?
I understand the fairness of your position, but I find it a tad...harsh? I wonder what I do that irks people and doubtless there is at least one thing I do that does, and I presume everyone does. Yet friends still stay around me i spite of that. I hope to do the same for them. |
Does what he finds repulsive bother you so much to the point of making a post about it in an effort to sway his opinion? |
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Adam Carolla
Joined: 26 Feb 2010
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| Posted: Tue Sep 30, 2014 5:27 pm Post subject: |
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| Captain Corea wrote: |
I think I've posted on here before that I've dropped friends because of this.. or just dropped dining with them. If they're going to chew with their mouth open and have food spitting at me, or leave enough of their meal on the floor around them that it looks like an animal trough, I'll be sure to limit my dining exposure with them.
I may not be able to STOP their behavior, but I sure as heck can mitigate how much it damages my enjoyment. If they ever ask, I tell them straight out - and that's for foreigners of koreans alike. |
I understand the disgust at open-mouthed chewing, but I really have to wonder at the sheer amount of times a lot of you seem to be experiencing it. I lived in the ROK for a good 8 years and dined with the best and worst. Food exiting a mouth was never, and I mean never, an issue. |
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