View previous topic :: View next topic |
Author |
Message |
fromtheuk
Joined: 31 Mar 2007
|
Posted: Fri Aug 14, 2015 11:57 pm Post subject: How to pickup women |
|
|
If I were to attempt it this is how I'd imagine it would turn out.
Imagine I walk into a cafe, order a coffee and sit down. Then, shortly after a woman I find very attractive sits at the table next to me.
I look briefly in her direction and realize she is drop dead gorgeous. Suddenly, the chemicals in my brain run riot and I am painfully aware that I love the look of this person, I want to be with her but know I will never approach her because I am inadequate and self-hating.
Imagine in a dream world, I actually pluck up the courage to approach this woman, this is how I see things will pan out.
I turn my head towards the woman and say, 'Hi there, how are you doing?' As I start with 'Hi' my voice turns into a ridiculous sounding tone which does happen when I'm extremely nervous.
The woman responds, 'Excuse me?' Unsure of what I actually mumbled.
I repeat the same greeting and my voice sounds even worse than before. The woman looks at me miffed and focuses on her tea and scone.
I survey the cafe and everyone is looking at me, some grinning derisively. I go beetroot red and wish the ground would open up and swallow me. My worst fear is realized.
I exit the cafe feeling truly humiliated and even more useless than before. And that's why I don't approach women. To live my life totally lonely and womanless is marginally better than losing all dignity in trying to initiate what I know will be a worthless attempt at hooking up with a woman that I find attractive. |
|
Back to top |
|
|
FMPJ
Joined: 03 Jun 2008
|
Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2015 1:45 am Post subject: |
|
|
Quote: |
To live my life totally lonely and womanless is marginally better than losing all dignity in trying to initiate what I know will be a worthless attempt at hooking up with a woman that I find attractive. |
You appear to be laboring under the misapprehension that you possess dignity. |
|
Back to top |
|
|
SeoulNate
Joined: 04 Jun 2010 Location: Hyehwa
|
Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2015 1:54 am Post subject: |
|
|
As long as you don't believe in destiny you are pretty much set.
Talking to the opposite sex takes practice. You're going to *beep* it up on the first few goes. Know that. You will get more confident with it over time, just like with anything. You can't expect to be a master overnight, dating is no different. |
|
Back to top |
|
|
fromtheuk
Joined: 31 Mar 2007
|
Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2015 5:23 am Post subject: |
|
|
Respectfully, that's not quite correct. I am 42 and I've never improved at all over the last 20 years in hooking up with the opposite sex. This is a terminal, self-destructive mindset but I keep an open mind, theoretically. Practically though, I know that I have no real personality or self-esteem required to approach a woman, let alone sustain her desire to stay with me.
I automatically switch to 'uptight, self-loathing, very uncomfortable' mode and I cannot shake it. And most women sense it and sensibly, run a mile. Truthfully, I have mostly avoided women anyway, due to the discomfort I feel around them.
I hate rejection and also hate myself (in the romance department) because of my pathetic, incurable attitude. I am my own worst enemy and I dislike myself for my inadequacy.
I look fine, I'm educated, I have a sense of humour, I'm a semi-decent human but because I love women so much, that incapacitates my ability to relax and be normal around them. I cannot function normally around women that I find attractive. The chemicals in my brain run riot and I lose control of my common sense and rational behaviour.
Although I find women attractive, I also have no interest in what they or I have to say, I sometimes find conversation futile. I am a bit weird in that I come across a woman I like and feel intense feelings of affection for her, without knowing her at all. I suppose that is due to being lonely and at times, desperation kicks in.
Thankfully, externally I look a bit serious but okay. However, what goes on in the inside is very different.
Uplifting message, eh? |
|
Back to top |
|
|
Sector7G
Joined: 24 May 2008
|
Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2015 5:28 am Post subject: |
|
|
SeoulNate wrote: |
Talking to the opposite sex takes practice. You're going to *beep* it up on the first few goes. Know that. You will get more confident with it over time, just like with anything. You can't expect to be a master overnight, dating is no different. |
There is definitely something to this. A great, safe way to get some practice is chatting up someone you're not attracted to, that way you won't be so nervous. And who knows, you may hit it off with one of those women, fall in love, get married, have kids, and then suffer like the rest of us. Wow, this has romantic comedy written all over it. |
|
Back to top |
|
|
fromtheuk
Joined: 31 Mar 2007
|
Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2015 5:40 am Post subject: |
|
|
I was married once but even that was organized through a mutual friend, not by my own slick woman-grabbing skills. |
|
Back to top |
|
|
Sector7G
Joined: 24 May 2008
|
Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2015 5:42 am Post subject: |
|
|
fromtheuk wrote: |
Although I find women attractive, I also have no interest in what they or I have to say, |
Sorry for the pop psychology, but this may be part of your problem, unless I am misunderstanding you, and you mean this happens only when you get nervous. |
|
Back to top |
|
|
fromtheuk
Joined: 31 Mar 2007
|
Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2015 5:50 am Post subject: |
|
|
I feel talking is overrated and it often ends acrimoniously. I am not much of a talker. I lead a very simple, tedious existence I think it would be unfair to inflict that on any unsuspecting woman. |
|
Back to top |
|
|
slothrop
Joined: 03 Feb 2003
|
Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2015 6:00 am Post subject: |
|
|
@fromtheuk
hot chicks don't want woody allen. they want 'the situation' from the jersey shore. i don'tknow what you look like, but based on your selfconcious writing i can tell you lean more toward woody allen.
you're wasting your time. maybe if you accept that, give up trying, start projecting a feeling of genuine disgust and ignore them, at that point they may be interested in you. or maybe not. good luck.
Last edited by slothrop on Sat Aug 15, 2015 6:03 am; edited 1 time in total |
|
Back to top |
|
|
fromtheuk
Joined: 31 Mar 2007
|
Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2015 6:02 am Post subject: |
|
|
Actually I'm not as big a loser as I make out. I remember at uni I used to speak on a regular basis with a girl called Helen on my course in the library, mainly about our studies. Looking back, I'm sure she must have thought when is this idiot going to make a move. She was attractive and very receptive. |
|
Back to top |
|
|
fromtheuk
Joined: 31 Mar 2007
|
Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2015 6:03 am Post subject: |
|
|
Believe it or not, I am considered to be physically attractive, maybe a Woody Allen on the inside instead?
I naturally look disinterested but when girls show any indirect interest I can't do anything due to nerves. Truthfully, I have kind of given up anyway. It's nice to dream though. |
|
Back to top |
|
|
Sector7G
Joined: 24 May 2008
|
Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2015 6:21 am Post subject: |
|
|
Maybe try finding someone whose first language is not English. |
|
Back to top |
|
|
fromtheuk
Joined: 31 Mar 2007
|
Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2015 6:23 am Post subject: |
|
|
A life of miscommunication, not ideal. On my MA there was a Greek girl , very pretty who was extra nice to me, but I saw her walking on campus with a guy, which suggested she was taken.
In some respects I'm desperate (although it doesn't show). Ironically, I come across as being disinterested (thankfully) but inside I sometimes really want to be with someone.
Another thing is, paradoxically in some ways I don't actually want to be with anyone at all. What a mess. |
|
Back to top |
|
|
chellovek
Joined: 29 Feb 2008
|
Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2015 7:06 am Post subject: |
|
|
Just whip out your shlong and give her a few friendly taps on the cheeks. |
|
Back to top |
|
|
fromtheuk
Joined: 31 Mar 2007
|
Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2015 7:08 am Post subject: |
|
|
Doubt that'd work. |
|
Back to top |
|
|
|