Korean Job Discussion Forums

[poet13]

July 25th, 2009.

"Daves' ESL Cafe Incorporated as an online National University Offering Degrees in "Korean Tax Law", "Korean Labor Law", Korean Pension Law", and "Korean Culture Relations".

Anybody who has been a member for three years, OR, has been propperly screwed by a hakwon and survived will receive an honorary degree.
All others must wait until either of the two preceeding requirements have been fulfilled.

[Wrench]

Kimichi is not Good for you.

[SPINOZA]

Yes, outstanding thread. Here goes:

December 13th 2027
Hardline Gov't to Ban Offensive Noises

Amongst other things, the article says the Government will ban noises offensive to the ear, particularly those made by adjumas. For the chop will be telephone conversations that go 으으으으으으으으으으으으, 네네네네네네네네네으으으으으으으으". Also to be crushed is the ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ noise made by the adjuma strongly emphasizing something. This is still subject to review and may include more disgustingly unfeminine noises the Government deems fit to eradicate. Possible disciplinary measures include imprisonment without trial.

February 29th 2008
Adjuma: The Show's Over!

Hardline Gov't proposes banning Korean females becoming Adjumas. Government spokesman Kim Jong Hwan on the proposed legislation: "Korean girls, from childhood all the way to being 30, are in a state of perfection. They are sweet, beautiful, flawless, superhuman angels. However, when they become older, between the ages of 30 and 40 the Government believes, something drastic happens, some unfathomable change, whereby the once gorgeous Eun-hae becomes a prattling, offensively cacophonous tainter of the race. It is the position of this government that all offenders be isolated from the rest of society, probably by arrest and imprisonment", but details to emerge in the coming days.

Wednesday October 4th, 2020
Hardline Gov't to Insist on Deforestation of Nether Regions in Women

Chief Pube Inspector, Dr Spin Oh-ja, the first foreign-born official to be employed by the Hardline Government of Korea, on the new law: "It's a central priority of this government".

December 1st 2006
Hardline Gov't to ban 'z' as ㅈ

Lim Hyeon-hyeong: "The 'z' sound in English bares not the slightest resemblance to a ch/j. The Hardline Gov't of Korea will replace it with ㅅ. Admittedly, 'z' sounds bugger all like ㅅ and we now have the uncomfortable prospect of 'z' sounds and 'th' sounds both taking 스 but it's a heck of a lot closer than ㅈ. Thus Koreans can now pronounce 'pizza' (핃사) as opposed to the ridiculous abomination that currently exists.

More headlines soon I hope.

[jajdude]

Hagwon System Abolished - Kids Play After School

Soju Deemed Unfit for Consumption - No More Will be Made

Tourism Takes OFF!

Korea and Japan Celebrate a Decade of Friendship

International Court Decides Rocks Belong to China

Noise Pollution Fines Increase

A Decade of Prosperity Since Reunification

Vegetable Trucks a Thing of the Past

Most Couples Say They Want a Daughter

Mexican Now Most Popular Non-Korean Food

Instant Noodles Sales Way Down -- Kids Eating Healthier

[poet13]

"Wednesday October 4th, 2020
Hardline Gov't to Insist on Deforestation of Nether Regions in Women

Chief Pube Inspector, Dr Spin Oh-ja, the first foreign-born official to be employed by the Hardline Government of Korea, on the new law: "It's a central priority of this government".



That's so right it's wrong.

[Homer]

[Brady]

New, Definitive Government Study Proves Fans Will Not Kill You

[Roch]

[metalhead]

The more things don't change, the more they stay the same.

[motiontodismiss]

September 11th, 2025:

Shaomi buys Samsung

[Fallacy]

[talentedcrayon]

January 21, 2022

English hagwons having a tough time finding teachers

As droves of foreign teachers move to China for a better life, hagwons are being forced to reconsider low wages and treating foreign teachers worse than Korean dogs.

One hagwon owner, who did not want to be named for this report, claimed: "I actually had to treat my foreign teachers with respect last week, it was terrible, but I did it through gritted teeth. Just last month two teachers ran off to China. They claimed they were offered double the pay. Worse than this, their new boss is a 'nice' person they claim. When I threatened them with never working in Korea again, they just laughed and said they didn't care. My feelings were hurt."

In spite of 50% of positions going unfilled and a return to the situation Korea faced in 1995, where most hagwons were forced to scrape the bottom of the barrel for teachers, the Korean Hagwon Owners Association has been quoted as saying: "As a matter of Korean pride, we will never pay foreign teachers more than we did in 2001. How dare these people have any self respect? Some teachers are threatening to quit if their contracts are not honoured, we have instructed our members to keep on not honouring contracts. Fighting!"

At Incheon international airport, reporter Lee interviewed Kevin, a long time English teacher in Korea, who was boarding a flight for Shanghai.

Reporter Lee: "You only care about money?"

Kevin: "That's your first question?"

As you can see, from Kevin's own words, these foreigners are motivated only by money.

A spokesperson for the Kang government said a bill is being drafted that would require foreigners to pay a 5,000,000 won fine if they leave their job early. The hope is that hagwon owners can threaten their teacher with this so they will stay.

Government Spokesperson: "The Chinese have it backwards, paying teachers more money only encourages teachers to ask for even more money, there is an ever upward spiral as wages rise to match demand and inflation. Our strategy is to punish teachers who try to leave. This is much smarter because the foreigners end up paying us."

One thing the government is right about is that it is a privilage for these foreigners to live in Korea. Why should they be paid anything? Foreigners should be paying us to live here.

There is no word from the Kang government on how such a policy would be enforced.

[talentedcrayon]

[Handsome Boy]

All of you guys who posted, should seriously think about comedy writing!
I don't like to talk about myself but I've had a totally shit time over the
past 6 months, divorce with a child involved, nobody to talk to etc etc.

THANK YOU SO MUCH! YOU ALL BRIGHTENED UP MY DAY! BRILLIANT!

[maximmm]

2035 - John Smith, AKA Steelrails, is the first foreigner to ever be elected as a president of South Korea.

His first campaign pledge, a deportation of all foreigners not married to Koreans, will be turned to law on December 25th, 2035.