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what is it that makes people crazy here? is it just korea?
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captain kirk



Joined: 29 Jan 2003

PostPosted: Sun Aug 29, 2004 5:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

'If you think it's stressful, it's stressful'. That's the kind of infuriating answer I'd get if I asked some Buddhist monks the question, 'Why is Korea so stressful?'.
I don't find it stressful most of the time, or I've learned to drop the stress, or function around it, or whatever. I can think of a few things to say re; this matter.
Re; sense of self that is definately something that comes and goes here because there is a distinct lack of acknowledgement in a 'how's your father?' kind of rallying way.
And getting it from the occupation of teaching English-ee? I can see the Korean teachers comfortably nested in a niche being recognized as 'teachers' in the full sense of the word.
In an absolutely non-whining way I'll say that there is a distinct trend to take the piss out of you, the foreigner, here. And that's something one has to get around almost all the time, detour. Like, 'right, I'm not possessing of human dignity and have no right to be here I detect from your manner. Opinions are like assholes, buddy, everybody has one'. Not out loud, not even 'thought', but carried around as a reality to explain the 'general mood re; 'foreigners' here'.
I have no complaints. It is what it is here. Just go around, detour, and push for happiness on all fronts from inside, manifesting outside, and boinga boinga it snowballs, those good times. Stress and unhappiness aren't worth diddly, to be discarded ASAP then and there.
I 'tried out' living in a black funk with my 'friends' stress and unhappiness and nobody wants it. It's not like you can talk with anyone here about 'pet peeves' (and people do make a career out of bickering and whining about every little thing when it's easy to communicate, as with one's fellow nationals in a common language. Just go back home and check it out Laughing ). So they are useless additions to one's mental space.
Korea is good in that it forces one, if one stays long enough, to ditch the negative. Having had the experience of it 'swarm' and 'rear' and almost chase one home with one's tail between one's legs. The same 'demons' reside back home.
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rapier



Joined: 16 Feb 2003

PostPosted: Sun Aug 29, 2004 6:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Isolation is a big one that will crack an inexperienced traveller quickly. Not understanding whats going on around you, not being able to talk easilly and freely to those around you, not being able to express yourself fully, is huge. Very few eslers are fluent in this language, most of us struggle to get by.
Talking of being acceptable as prospective marriage partners for Koreans, It would probably help if there was a larger variety of jobs, with better pay, available to foreigners here, than just 2.0 hogwon clowns. There should be a selection of different niches available to foreigners here. those of you who are married here can only look forward to playing bingo classes, to pay the rent until you retire.
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jajdude



Joined: 18 Jan 2003

PostPosted: Sun Aug 29, 2004 7:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yep. Agreed. Isolation and difficulty communicating. The food too in my opinion. The lack of variety. Everyone appears the same but you the foreigner are obviously not part of the clan. And the racism. And the stupid Confucianism. Maybe the crowds too. ANd those early morning trucks.
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Eazy_E



Joined: 30 Oct 2003
Location: British Columbia, Canada

PostPosted: Sun Aug 29, 2004 9:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Everything jajdude mentioned... the language issue that can be like a concrete barricade around you, unless you have countless hours to commit to learning it. It haunts you everywhere you go, from running errands to communicating in the workplace, trying to make friends, or forming a relationship.

The homogeneity: everything and everyone looks the same. This is probably more true for Korea than it is for any country in the world. Take one city block from Seoul and switch it with one from Pohang, and how would anyone know the difference? I like the food, but it consists solely of Korean food and other slightly different varieties of Korean food.

Related to the homogeneity: the xenophobia. Even though it's not always in a negative sense, I could never get used to being treated differently wherever I went. The gawking, the ubiquitous "hello!"s followed by sniggering, is a constant reminder that you are alien to this country and you will never really be accepted by Korean society. Korea is not a diverse country, not simply because it happens to have been ethnically homogenous historically, but because it actively rejects diversity.

I really tried to make Korea work for me. I adapted to the food, learned quite a bit of the language, and was open to the culture. But I never found my niche there. I don't want this post to sound like I am embittered by my Korean experience. I had some good times there. I think that the majority of Koreans are genuinely kind and friendly people. The women are some of the loveliest I've ever seen. But this country has a way of chewing up and spitting out the majority of the expats who choose to live here. The isolation in particular was more than I could handle. My hat's off to those waegooks who try to make a go of it here, but chalk me up as one for whom one year was more than enough.
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Real Reality



Joined: 10 Jan 2003
Location: Seoul

PostPosted: Sun Aug 29, 2004 6:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Eazy_E wrote,
"But this country has a way of chewing up and spitting out the majority of the expats who choose to live here."

Some things are worth repeating. (or copying and pasting)

EDITORIAL: Fatal waves of depression
http://www.koreaherald.co.kr/SITE/data/html_dir/2004/08/27/200408270011.asp

Foreigners Experience Difficulties in Living in Korea
http://english.donga.com/srv/service.php3?biid=2004070522448
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just because



Joined: 01 Aug 2003
Location: Changwon - 4964

PostPosted: Sun Aug 29, 2004 6:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Eazy_E wrote:
But this country has a way of chewing up and spitting out the majority of the expats who choose to live here.

I agree but its not only the foreigners its happening too, Koreans find it harder to live in this country than us a lot of the time.

Just look at the way the whole of society is set up to be one big numerically based competition.

Now wonder the suicide rate is so high.
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Demophobe



Joined: 17 May 2004

PostPosted: Sun Aug 29, 2004 7:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sorry, but I'm going to play the bad guy here....

We all knew they spoke Korean in Korea before we came.

Korea was a closed society for thousands of years. They have and continue to make inroads in this department. People in the West aren't all happy either...there is no perfect place. Korea is trying to get better. The "racist" thing is just so tired. I for one am sick of hearing about it. If you don't like it, get off your apathetic butt and do what you can to change it, or again, leave.

We also knew it was a homogenous culture before we came. No surprise there, so why are you shocked?

If it's so bad, go home or to a different place. If you can't leave because of the money or some other hole that Korea is helping to fill, then don't bite the hand that feeds you.

Isolation....maybe. I personally think that people don't spend enough time alone...they find themselves in others. The isolation can be a blessing, depending on how you use the time you are afforded.

Foods of all kinds are avaliable both online and in reality, though not in abundance. You can eat western food everyday if you want, albeit a bit narrower in scope and more expensive.

Some of us are more industrious, motivated and hard-working than your statement implies. If you are lazy and apathetic, then Korea, as well as the rest of the world, will happily eat you up and spit you out. Korea requires some hard work, but if you do it, you will win. If you think teaching is about playing bingo, then...well.. you get what you give.

rapier, you need to see outside your box man. Wink Some people may be happy to do what you described....what about them? You say they are losers, but they are happy and are doing exactly what they want, which is more than can be said for you.

captain kirk....nice post.

bibimbap...what can I say?

Whatever.....bottom line:

This is Korea. Like it or leave it. Or stay and hate it. Laughing


Last edited by Demophobe on Sun Aug 29, 2004 8:06 pm; edited 1 time in total
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chronicpride



Joined: 16 Jan 2003

PostPosted: Sun Aug 29, 2004 7:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I see all points that previous posters see, however, my perspective on those issues are different from the next. Just as we have different tastes, preferences, feelings, etc...Korea is Korea. We are all presented with, more or less, the same scenarios, situations, food, culture, idiosyncracies and what have you, as much as the next guy. There is no real surprise from one expat to the next. Korea isn't defined by itself. It's our individual perspectives that shape it's meaning.

I don't really discount anyone for not getting along with the culture. Just like I don't discount some for hating peas, but liking carrots. Or liking Star Wars, but detesting Star Trek. To each there own. Some people get right into Korea and eat it up. Some come here and feel like they're wearing an itchy shirt from the outset. If one thing is certain, I've never met expats who are completely similar in each other's tastes and preferences with a culture. And, IMHO, the expats in this country are far more harder on themselves and each other, than the Koreans are on us. This place is a prime example.


Last edited by chronicpride on Sun Aug 29, 2004 8:05 pm; edited 1 time in total
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nev



Joined: 04 Jan 2004
Location: ch7t

PostPosted: Sun Aug 29, 2004 7:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Real Reality wrote:
highest suicide rate...A number of bankrupt young parents have killed their little children before committing suicide...Over 10,000 children are said to be abandoned each year...Children fall victim to other types of abuse and maltreatment...Overall living conditions, including education, housing, medical care, transportation, immigration, and access to the Internet are pointed to as inconveniences...the lack of cooperation from government agencies involved and their passive attitudes...The fact that such dramas are so popular is a testament to the state of mind of the country's citizens, especially those of women...Telling women to take more responsibility in their lives and become more independent is an idealistic but hollow message in today's Korean society...as many as 90 percent of Korea's youth think they live in a country that's corrupt, and a considerable number of them say they're ready to join the club if the occasions calls for it later in life...money -- or the assurance of money in the future -- is the single most significant criterion in how women choose men


Oh my God! Korea is hell! These blessed statistic-based statements have made me see the light!
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Real Reality



Joined: 10 Jan 2003
Location: Seoul

PostPosted: Sun Aug 29, 2004 8:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

R.E.A.L.:
Robotic Electronic Assassination Lifeform

R.E.A.L.I.T.Y.:
Robotic Electronic Android Limited to Infiltration and Terran Yelling

The Cyborg Name Generator
http://www.cyborgname.com/


Last edited by Real Reality on Sun Aug 29, 2004 8:48 pm; edited 1 time in total
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crazylemongirl



Joined: 23 Mar 2003
Location: almost there...

PostPosted: Sun Aug 29, 2004 8:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The last month of my contract I hated Korea. I think most of it had to do with the bad nature of my last place of employment. The job makes or breaks your experience here.

I really love my current job, and I've come to apperciate korea more. I've learnt a bit of Korean, it's not great but I've almost reached the level where I can communicate what I want to do in daily life and I'm able to make a little small talk with people. This is making a world of difference.

Also finding some different niches. If all I did was go to work, go to the bar, go to the PC room I would probably hate Korea. But there are things to do and see here that are interesting.

I have my days, but I have to remember that back home if I had a bad day I'm not going to sit there and blame new zealand for my problems.

On a structual level I think a lot of people have trouble adapting to the fact that they have largely been removed from a situation where their culture and way of doing things are the invisible norm to one where they are the outsiders. It's hard process and one I still have problems with.
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philinkorea



Joined: 27 Jan 2003

PostPosted: Mon Aug 30, 2004 3:27 am    Post subject: me to Reply with quote

im the original poster. i just want to say i agree a lot with the last statement about the job making or breaking the experience. I teach adults now and find it so much more rewarding. In my first year my main mates were foreigners now theyre korean people which is really helping me get inside their head a lot more. I generally prefer hanging out with koreans these days and find them a lot more interesting than a lot of the foreigners here. Also my school despite being unprofessional to a degree has a really sound boss and i have a pretty sound apartment.

what i also wanted to ask though is do people get really screwed up in the different countries to eg japan, taiwan. the same as here
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philinkorea



Joined: 27 Jan 2003

PostPosted: Mon Aug 30, 2004 3:32 am    Post subject: and Reply with quote

i also think having a genuine interest in korea and wanting to delve into everything helps a lot also. i wrote a recent post about how to live well here. i seem to meet a lot of people who say they hate it who spend all their time in itaewan, i kind of think 'no wonder'

im now trying to enjoy my teaching (important to find heart in your work)
learn some korean
meditate
read about asian history
watch and take an interest in korean films
read about korean countries

in my first year i always felt korea had potential and got what i wanted in coming back to teach adults. i taught at a small kids hagwan in a boring town which drove me crazy. most of my mates were other foreigners since i found it hard to meet korean mates in the kind of social system here. it caused to much of a divide. thats a big thing i think. now i feel maybe im starting to crack it. also to keep a constant creative attitute is important. not to get stagnant. that is easily done in an alien place also
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Pyongshin Sangja



Joined: 20 Apr 2003
Location: I love baby!

PostPosted: Mon Aug 30, 2004 3:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You're all wrong. Korea as we know it will soon cease to exist. Run, you thieving lepers.
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Mashimaro



Joined: 31 Jan 2003
Location: location, location

PostPosted: Mon Aug 30, 2004 3:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Eazy_E wrote:
Everything jajdude mentioned... the language issue that can be like a concrete barricade around you, unless you have countless hours to commit to learning it. It haunts you everywhere you go, from running errands to communicating in the workplace, trying to make friends, or forming a relationship.

You got it a** backwards my friend. You don't learn korean first then make friends. You make friends then through listening and speaking with them you learn it. There are no excuses for not learning korean. I'm not saying everyone should, just that there are no barriers to doing it beyond lack of interest/enthusiasm. Too busy at work to study, then in your down time have a beer with a korean. To busy for a beer? that doesn't apply to many english teachers Wink

again I have no problem with people who don't want to learn korean, only the poor excuses for not doing it
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