Korean Job Discussion Forums

[jajdude]

www.goofyphotos.com/1/jackhandey.htm

Some of these are hilarious!
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Sometimes I like to make these up.

When a dog stops to piss on a fire hydrant, I wonder, does the fire hydrant get angry? If so, why doesn't it do anything? Then I figure maybe it doesn't get angry. After all dog urine is really not harmful to fire hyrants.
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Ok I admit it.... I'm nuts!

[Yaya]

My favorite is:

I've always been afraid of clowns. I guess it's because of that time when I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.

[Swiss James]

ugliest website ever!

This one is the same but without the eyestrain
http://quotes.prolix.nu/Humor/Jack_Handey/

[AdamH]

I love going down to the elementary school, watching all the kids jump and shout, but they dont know Im using blanks.

- Jack Handey

[inthewild]

Reading the Jack Handey site, good thing to do on a night before some random Tuesday off. I bet Handey could come up with something funny in regards to random Tuesdays off and why they're so much worse than Mondays or Fridays.... Anyways.

If you are a happy employee does that make you 'gruntled' ?
- Jack Handey

[jajdude]

No one can seem to understand mankind. That is beacuse it is made up of these two words, "mank" and "ind". What do these words mean? No one knows, so no one can understand mankind.

I looked at my juice and it said "concentrate." So I concentrated. But I didn't understand the juice any better.

On the other hand, we have different fingers.

[jajdude]

Seems I'm not the only fan of these silly jokes.

[Yaya]

To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other.

[neandergirl]

They say God lives in everyone of us. I hope He likes enchiladas ... 'cause that's what He's getting.

[jaderedux]

Jack Handey used to be one of my favorite parts of SNL. I have his books somewhere: But in the meantime...

"If I ever went to war, instead of throwing a grenade, I'd throw one of those small pumpkins. Then maybe my enemy would pick up the pumpkin and think about the futility of war. And that would give me the time I need to hit him with a real grenade."

[deadman]

I think whether we discover life there or not, Jupiter should be considered an enemy planet.

If you are ever falling from a tall building, try to go real limp. That way, you might look like a dummy, and someone might try and catch you, 'cos, hey, free dummy.

If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? Maybe, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.

There's nothing sadder than a mosquito sucking on a mummy. Give it up little guy.

- Jack Handey (as accurately as I can remember)

[donjart]