Korean Job Discussion Forums

[captain kirk]

So Rock how long have you been at the job, then?

'Don't misunderstand me, but the students hate you. We have to find out why'. That's just friggin hilarious. Can't you just hear it, delivered in somber, professional seriousness. I can understand you feeling a bit nauseous at the tactlessness of how it's put. Korea's blunt. Kids and adults. Especially when it's the blunt brattiness of kids related by a blunt boss. Relax, it's funny.

Kudos for not breaking down and confessing. Such as, 'I know, it's true, I stink. I wish I didn't, but I do (breaks down in tears)..I stiiiiinnnnnk'.

[Rock]

[bosintang]

[hari seldon]

[quote="Rock"]

[Badmojo]

[harixseldon]

[TheUrbanMyth]

[Yu_Bum_suk]

[Yu_Bum_suk]

[Rock]

I'm just taking it all in with a grain of salt. Guess I'll disregard the evaluation, although really, I've felt so many of the students have taken positively to me that it wouldn't really be detrimental. It would help me use concrete evidence, perhaps even weed out those that "hate me" so that I could use this, and these specific students, to confront the employers' accusations that "The students hate you." I could then prove that the students that do indeed "hate" me are problem students and therefore, the employers' responsibility to control. Either this or 'prove' that the students are biased or this employers' comment.

Do you see what he might me doing? He's putting the burden on me in regards to the kids, or using this psychollogical diversion of his and theirs, to annul the contract. He can then dismiss me, turn the attitude of the other employers whichever way he decides, make this contract negligible. I sense someting in the air, but I'm not losing sleep over it. I'd just like to find a way to prevent it.

I'd made a post on the 'Off-topic' forum about this and some bright person said something stupid.

Well, my whole attitude about being here in Korea anyway is that it's really something to laugh off, to take lightly, and I kind of like such insensible remarks because then I can act just as insensible and silly in return, especially towards the kids that "hate" me.

[Wrench]

[captain kirk]

Well, about the boss acting weird and bringing up what kids think. Who are kids? Inferiors. The boss getting in your face with how the kids 'hate you' is blunt. Like treating you as if you are below the kids. Getting carried away with the kids being customers and the customers are always right.

I had these great managers. They stopped stuff at the front desk. I never heard any complaints from kids, parents, nothing. They had great common sense. Very saavy. They said if some parents got ridiculous with their sappy, self-indulgent tirades they just fed it back to them. These managers realize that the foreign teacher has enough to deal with. One manager said to me one time, 'I know the kids don't treat the foreign teacher very well. I know this...'. I thought that was very cool. So whatever I did to straighten the kids out was MY business. They didn't interfere or come to find out what the ruccus was about.

With the boss, your boss, one has to assert oneself to let them know the lines not to cross. The boss has already crossed a line by siding with the kids. Taking what they say seriously enough to relate it to you, how you are 'disliked'. That's just nuts.

With a boss like that, if you let things pile up, you'll get really mad at the dipstick sometime down the road. It's a lot of work, and he's never dealt with foreigners before, so you have to 'train' him. And do it without breaking the bucket.

It's normal to feel uneasy at a haggie. At least it's normal for me, I can't speak for everyone. The management play games. How so? Well, bringing up how 'popular' or 'unpopular' you are is one game right there. Those 'cool' managers I had worked hard to control me with mind games, keep me in line, so there was uneasiness there. But they realized that half the kids are gonna like you, and half aren't. And that's a fact they knew from having been in the business for five years with their eyes open.

The childish world of the haggie is just that, right?

One time, with one boss, I just told him that I don't want to hear any stupid complaints from parents. This was after he came up and in a accusing, stern, scolding voice asked, 'Did you call little Johnny a monkey?'. It was a case where the stupid kid told Mom teacher had called him a monkey. Maybe I did, but it was joking around in class, and there was no indication at the time he was offended, this kid. Anyway, the boss was being a twit and disrespectful delivering this ridiculous crap as if it was real. I got the impression he realized from my reaction then and there that he ran up bang against a wall. And he never bothered me with any stupid 'complaints' after that. None, zero. So it turned out these complaints were just abuse, harrassment. He realized I had enough on my plate, and shut up about it. He just didn't know any better until I said stop. Feudal Lord mentality.

[Rock]

This is good too, Kirk. I struck back the instant I'd heard this comment, told the boss "I didn't think kids liking me was part of the contract" or something to that nature. Now, I think he's gotten by point, but I may go further.

I'm thinking about drawing up some stipulations too keep this under control, something we can abide by. I want to put in writing that "unless the complaint is legitimate, the employer and the student have to work it out alone and I not be bothered." If there is a complaint directed toward me, there has to be some proof. This is it.

I may include more, realize this is rocking the boat, but I agree with what you'd said, that "one has to assert oneself to let them know the lines not to cross." I may type out some limitations and have a meeting with them tomorrow. I'm fed up with this henpecking crap, and know it can get way out of hand, become a form of harassment, even lead to dismissal.

[SweetBear]

Dear Rock,

I believe you when you say that the kids like you and also believe that there is, for some reason, some disrespect being given. I would imagine that it's learned from the kids through the adults.

I once had my kids write a short note to me at the end of my class. I entitled it Dear Teacher... and let them continue. They said the nicest things in the letters, even the moody teenagers.
I don't discount the idea of protecting yourself through subtle means, rarely have I found that working directly through" western work philosphies" works. I have been in similar situations over my time here. I have found that keeping myself flying under the radar and dropping notes about important issues on the directors desk a worthwhile passive approach. I always keep a smile on, especially during tough times.
This may not be your style, but try it sometime.

As for the moody teenagers, good luck! Just keep plugging away. None of those kids really hate you, they hate their life. ( didn't we all at that age).
I suspest that your boss may be on a bit of a Power trip too. Calm him, bring him gifts, play the game. I think it will make for a much easier life if you play your own game.
Just my opinion and my experiences. I would be piss*d off too but ultimately maintaining your personal happinesss and stability is far more valuable in terms of a better working environment than direct confrontation.

Sweet