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Korean Job Discussion Forums "The Internet's Meeting Place for ESL/EFL Teachers from Around the World!"
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nev
Joined: 04 Jan 2004 Location: ch7t
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Posted: Mon May 23, 2005 10:39 pm Post subject: |
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She called her kid T-Jay? |
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AdamH
Joined: 27 Aug 2004 Location: Bachman Turner Overdrive...Let's Rock!
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Posted: Tue May 24, 2005 1:19 am Post subject: |
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winnie wrote: |
Obviously, many of you haven't experienced life from a "lower class" perspective. |
Well I have, and I'm still not impressed by them one iota. Twelve years old may be young, but it's still old enough to take some responsibility for your actions, and to know what you're doing. Enough Sex-Ed goes on outside of school hours (where IMO kids learn many of the important lessons of REAL life) that I strongly doubt any of those girls are the bewildered innocents that some might want us to believe.
I'd be willing to bet a monkey that most other kids in the area in which the girls live (kids with the same "lower class" perspective) would deride them mercilessly with far less restraint than you see on this board. |
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jaganath69
Joined: 17 Jul 2003
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Posted: Tue May 24, 2005 1:22 am Post subject: |
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winnie wrote: |
desultude wrote: |
Cheesh, you guys, there are screwed up people everywhere.
Sure, there is something really amiss here, but to call a clearly tragically messed up family "whores" is unbelievable.
To dismiss this problem the way some of you do is as mindless as letting it happen in the first place. Maybe that is why it hits a nerve? |
I agree. I sense a lot of snobbery on this board....or elitism, not sure of the exact word I am looking for.
Granted, these girls obviously did not make wise choices, but there are other factors to take into consideration before calling them names and talking about people being trailer trash.
Obviously, many of you haven't experienced life from a "lower class" perspective. |
I know plenty of working class people with enough sense of responsibility to instill in their kids a sense of values, morals or even a degree of education when it comes this sort of thing. Expecting people to pick up the tab for the raising of your rugmonkeys makes you a presumptuous and parisitic fool who deserves nothing more than derision. Until the responsible parties take action and look after their mistakes, they will have my scorn. What's more, the parents blaming the state and schools for their daughters' and their irresponsibility is nothing short of risable. |
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canadian_in_korea
Joined: 20 Jun 2004 Location: South Korea
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Posted: Tue May 24, 2005 3:38 am Post subject: |
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I agree that many parents today aren't being responsible for their children....perfect example a 10 year old boy in western canada was recently set on fire by some other children....horrifying....worse...it happened at 10 pm....what was a 10 year old doing hanging out at 10 pm...???? Teen pregnancy is a touchy subject....the responsibility lies with the one who became pregnant (and the one that helped of course)....as parents all you can do is guide your children...teach them right from wrong....and hope that when they are in situations...that they make responsible judgements...why do I say this....because I gave birth to my daughter when I was 16.....actually...3 weeks after my 16th birthday. Did my mother or father do anything wrong..>?...absolutely not....did I learn sex ed in school....sure I did....was I on the pill....as a matter of fact...yes. Then how did this all happen....perhaps the pill wasn't the proper strength...but besides that.....bottom line....teenage mentality 'it won't happen to me'. I was well aware of the consequences...I just honestly did not think it would happen. I now look at my daughter who is 15...the same age I was when I became pregnant....as teenagers go I'm very lucky...she is far more responsible than most of her friends.
When I got pregnant....nobody believed that it was true...I was a 'good girl'....its very important to remember that sometimes people make wrong decisions....and don't use proper judgement. I was faced with judgement all along....until a couple of years after my daughter started school....and the mothers who were older/married started to ask me for advice...how did I get my daughter to listen so well....its actually very nice to be treated like an equal. Of course the majority of these young mothers fit a stereotype....but not all of them do. There are those of us who don't allow ourselves to become a statistic. Before you pass judgement .... make sure you know all the circumstances ...before you blame a parent for a child's actions....put yourself in that parents position....there is only so much you can do as a parent. |
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PolyChronic Time Girl
Joined: 15 Dec 2004 Location: Korea Exited
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Posted: Tue May 24, 2005 4:12 am Post subject: |
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Never called the girls names, just the mom...I actually pity and respect the girls at the same time as they are dealing with this as best they can. After all, my older sister was a teen mom and she's a damn fine mom! But I do hold mmost of the blame on the mother.....I understand that sometimes teen pregnancies can happen to one of your children...but all three of them, c'mon!! As a parent...you're obviously doing something incredibly wrong if all three of your underage daughters are knocked up...especially your 12-year old!! And what's worse is that she can't fess up to it, and cowardly blames the schools. That's why I think the mom is rotten....she's not even taking responsibilty for this. If the mom honestly came forward and took responsibility for it, then okay, maybe I'd recant what I said about her....but she didn't...she needed a scapegoat. I think these girls have been terribly neglected by their mom.
Last edited by PolyChronic Time Girl on Tue May 24, 2005 4:29 am; edited 3 times in total |
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Butterfly
Joined: 02 Mar 2003 Location: Kuwait
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Posted: Tue May 24, 2005 4:20 am Post subject: |
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nev wrote: |
She called her kid T-Jay? |
Yes, nev, she called her kid, T-jay. He can sure look forward to an enlightening upbringing, can't he? |
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turtlepi1
Joined: 15 Jun 2004 Location: Abu Dhabi, UAE
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Posted: Tue May 24, 2005 9:57 pm Post subject: |
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winnie wrote: |
I agree. I sense a lot of snobbery on this board....or elitism, not sure of the exact word I am looking for.
Granted, these girls obviously did not make wise choices, but there are other factors to take into consideration before calling them names and talking about people being trailer trash.
Obviously, many of you haven't experienced life from a "lower class" perspective. |
Since I seem to be the one who referenced "trailer parks" can you please show me where I said that everyone who lives in a trailer is "trash". As a matter of fact, I didn't see the words "trailer trash" until you mentioned it.
But to turn your phrase...yes people who go on Jerry Springer...and these girls appear they could be candidates...have a mentality that doesn't jibe with "normal" society. Do all of them live in trailer parks...hell no...and does everyone who lives in a trailer park have this mentality...hell no...
But just like "spanking the monkey" is a euphemism so too is "trailer park".
It is hard for people who are poor. I know that...my parents grew up poor so don't imply I don't know what it is like, but my parents also aren't poor today because they didn't have this sort of mentality.
As for blaming the girls...life is more complicated than that. As for blaming the mother...I'm sure her life wasn't a picnic either. The point is these girls are a sad commentary on society.
To others...
As for girls getting married at 12 in "other" countries that can sometimes be a lot different than a girl getting married at 12 in a developed country. Mind you there has to be some sort of line within any culture. In India there are still child marriages (children as young as 4-5 being married) And a social worker had her hands chopped off the other week for trying to stop such a wedding... |
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Dispatched
Joined: 08 May 2004
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Posted: Tue May 24, 2005 11:54 pm Post subject: |
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I'm curious as to how old the fathers are... is there moral outrage against them and their families too? |
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periwinkle
Joined: 08 Feb 2003
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Posted: Wed May 25, 2005 12:24 am Post subject: |
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dogbert wrote: |
chest rockwell wrote: |
cant believe this is in the uk and not the us |
Why? |
People in the UK have s e x? |
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Corporal
Joined: 25 Jan 2003
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Posted: Wed May 25, 2005 1:05 am Post subject: |
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The sporadic insertion of ellipses into one's writing is never a substitute for coherent thought. |
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Babayaga
Joined: 28 May 2005
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Posted: Fri Jun 03, 2005 11:35 am Post subject: Sex education |
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I agree: mom should have provided the sex education. Doesn't she talk to her daughters? What does she do with her time,anyways?
Also,if she encouraged them to get busy,to get involved in interesting activities,to study hard,they wouldn't be interested in sex at such a young age. To be having sex at 12?
God,when I was that age,I worked my butt off in school,got straight A's;also went to music school and got straight A's there; got involved in extra--curricular activities;took care of my brother,etc.,etc.,!!
Sex was something you did when you were married! |
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Keepongoing
Joined: 13 Feb 2003 Location: Korea
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Posted: Fri Jun 03, 2005 10:26 pm Post subject: My Only Question |
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My only questions is this: Uhhhh, do the babies all have the same father. |
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desultude
Joined: 15 Jan 2003 Location: Dangling my toes in the Persian Gulf
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Posted: Fri Jun 03, 2005 11:06 pm Post subject: Re: Sex education |
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Babayaga wrote: |
I agree: mom should have provided the sex education. Doesn't she talk to her daughters? What does she do with her time,anyways?
Also,if she encouraged them to get busy,to get involved in interesting activities,to study hard,they wouldn't be interested in sex at such a young age. To be having sex at 12?
God,when I was that age,I worked my butt off in school,got straight A's;also went to music school and got straight A's there; got involved in extra--curricular activities;took care of my brother,etc.,etc.,!!
Sex was something you did when you were married! |
Good for you. Not everyone has such an enlightened and involved mother. We don't get to choose our parents. We often make the mistake of thinking that all of those good choices some of us made as adolescents were a sign of our own good sense and moral rectitude. There is a good reason that teenagers and children are not held criminally responsible for their mistakes- they are not intellectually mature enough to make good decisions on their own.
So, you had what we can assume was good parenting, and you made good choices. Good on your parents and lucky for you.
This mother is probably one of a string of generations that passed on bad parenting skills as well as poverty. Unfortunately, they often go hand in hand. Breaking that cycle is extremely difficult. As recent articles in the New York Times have shown, upward mobility is more of a myth than ever, and cycles of poverty, bad parenting, and violence continue as they always have.
So, most of the people responding to this thread seem genuinely angered about this, and appear to feel so morally superior. You can thank your parents, and your grandparents, good fortune, and the social structure for your fate- don't be so smug.
These young girls will most likely continue the pattern, and, unless you teach them better, your own children will probably sneer at and look down on them.
In that case, your moral superiority comes seriously into question. |
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bigverne
Joined: 12 May 2004
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Posted: Sat Jun 04, 2005 12:26 am Post subject: |
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Quote: |
mom should have provided the sex education |
Mum did provide them with the most important education of all, by example. And if I can remember correctly, she has been married a few times, and also got knocked up, and had a string of illegitimate children while she was a teenager. These three girls grew up in a house with no father figure, hence their pathetic attitude that they don't need a father for their babies. It is almost inevitable that their children will grow up to join the growing underclass of Burberry wearing scum who think that crime, living off benefits and behaving without a shred of decency or shame represents a meaningful use of life.
Britain has, if I'm not mistaken, either the highest, or second highest rate of teen pregnancy in the world. In the past, a man who got a woman pregnant would have come under great pressure to marry her and live up to his responsibilities. As shame and responsibility have gone out the window, so the number of fatherless families has rocketed. This is the main reason for the fact that Britain has the highest crime rate in Western Europe.
These children should have been forcibly given up for adoption, where they would have stood a far greater chance of a decent life. It does sound harsh, but you have to break the cycle somewhere. The sickening thing is that this 'family' make more in state benefits than many hardworking people who understand the meaning of responsibility. |
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Dan The Chainsawman
Joined: 05 May 2005
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Posted: Sat Jun 04, 2005 1:06 am Post subject: |
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All of them have the same father?
Now that is Jerry Springer trailer trash, if that turns out to be true. |
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