Korean Job Discussion Forums

jajdude · Joined: 18 Jan 2003

This was basically the advice given on another thread. I thought I'd start a new one about that. I'm not much into games, but whatever works may be worth trying. I think this may work for some people with some people, in some cases that is, but not all the time. Now why would a girl like a guy who ignores her or seems indifferent to her?

(As a guy, in my experience I like the girls who actually pay attention to me.)

But maybe it's different for girls? (depending on how much attention they tend to get --- how attractive they are?)

kermo · Last edited by kermo on Fri Aug 19, 2005 5:54 am; edited 1 time in total

Very very interesting question. I'll admit that it's a good way to get my attention. Abe Lincoln apparently said "better to keep silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt." He was undoubtedly a chick magnet, and should be given the final word on all such matters. However, I'm going to throw in my two cents as a female and an armchair psychologist.

I believe that some people choose friends or love interests based on destructive patterns that they are trying to rewrite. For example, if a young girl has a withdrawn and cold father, that girl may be drawn to men with similar qualities, and find satisfaction in sparking their attention and securing their affections. It's a crude and simplistic theory, but I see some truth in it.

It's also a truism that the "grass is always greener." That is, we humans don't seem to want what's under our noses; we prefer to strive for the unattainable. Well, "a man's reach should exceed his grasp, else what's a heaven for?" Robert Browning was on to something there.

If a ball is in the woman's court, she may keep it there indefinitely, just savouring the choice and the power. However, if you take yourself out of reach, busy yourself with your own interests, you may inspire a woman to take a more active role.

Who knows? The ignoring is worth a try. See what happens.

brachy · Joined: 01 Jul 2005

It's not so much by ignoring her per say... but I think if a guy is around a girl too much (especially at the beginning) she could feel suffocated, or it could be that she may start taking such positive attention for granted.

It works both ways too. If a girl is always saying to the guy "I love you" or "you are the best" or "You mean so much to me"... the guy takes it for granted or feels suffocated.

In my experience, just backing off a little, not completely, will have that person yearning for you more and more.

mindmetoo · Joined: 02 Feb 2004

I always thought showing anything less than stalker level interest to a Korean woman was a sure sign to her you didn't like her.

In North America, there seems to be a golden mean. Too much interest and a woman thinks "he doesn't need a GF, he needs a hobby". Too little interest and she thinks "he's not interested".

babtangee

babtangee

waggo · Joined: 18 May 2003 Location: pusan baby!

The Spanish have a saying for this.......

Women are like shadows.....if you go to them they move away .....and if you walk away from them...they follow.

plato's republic · Joined: 07 Dec 2004 Location: Ancient Greece

Play it cool. Make her come to you...make her crave you. You can't fail to hit the bush if you do this. Well...at least if she's interested in you that is Laughing

joe_doufu · Joined: 09 May 2005 Location: Elsewhere

jajdude · Joined: 18 Jan 2003

Nah, joe_dofou,

you are not catching the fact that I have tried quite a bit!

I have made an honest effort, and have asked her a few times at work, and on the telephone, over the past 2 weeks. She just lost interest I suppose. Or maybe later, she might find time to let me buy her a meal.

LOL... I still think she's nice.

And she looks a bit like Catherine Zeta Jones in the past...(in a Korean version of couse)

Maybe my gut is too big and I stink too much of beer and smokes, and being 12 years older, she can do better?

I wish she had never suggested the interest though if she won't even have a bite to eat with me! That is what has me bummed out presently. But I guess she is young and naive about what she says and what she means.

I think (hot) girls should learn that words actually matter to a guy@!

The Man known as The Man · Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2005 2:04 pm Post subject:

jajdude · Joined: 18 Jan 2003

Gollum · Joined: 04 Sep 2003 Location: Japan

jajdude · Joined: 18 Jan 2003

Damn I will not stalk her. But I may have to call her again soon, lol. I see her M-F anyway. Just not many good chances to talk there.

(I bought her some nice kiwi juice a week ago)

I still think she likes me a little ....

peony · Joined: 30 Mar 2005

well, dont do those things too blatantly in front of other coworkers, she'll be the object of teasing and that might scare her off more

i know that the general consensus seems to feel that korean girls need to be stalked when trying to woo them but there is a thing as too strong and its a turn off even to them

but if you gonna play 'the game' - at the same time, ignoring wont help things either, i think mixed signals work the best to keep the girl guessing, it'll probably drive her mad to figure you out and what your true intentions are and make you seem more interesting

anyway, just my opinion