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Men and attractive women
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Bulsajo



Joined: 16 Jan 2003

PostPosted: Fri Sep 09, 2005 7:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Babayaga wrote:
princess wrote:
Bulsajo wrote:
Well what about women and attractive men, princess?

BTW, are you SURE you're attractive?

Post a pic and we'll let you know the honest truth.
Hello Mr. Bulsajo. Are you attractive? I think you are a big fat white guy I used to work with and your wife is Korean and from what I heard other folks we worked with did not like her...



Princess,I think Bulsajo was addressing that remark to ME,since it was me(the OP) who started the post about "men and attractive women". Note,that he spelled "princess" with a small "p".So,don't take his remarks personally.


To Bulsajo: Yes,I'm attractive.Lots of people have told me so,including guys.I've had a number of boyfriends,who were very serious about me.The problem is that I haven't been able to attract those that I was interested in. I know quite a few attractive women who have this problem,and it's not because they're b**ches,they're very nice,decent individuals,they're just either shy or just don't exude "sexual" vibes.

Baba, you're technically right that I was referring to you but I'd be lying if said I wasn't hoping to troll Princess too.

I haven't been taking your threads seriously because I didn't think you were taking them seriously, I thought you were bored and trolling and I was responding in kind.

Hope you find what you're looking for in a significant other
(and that even goes for Princess too, but you have to know what you want before you can go and get it).
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Babayaga



Joined: 28 May 2005

PostPosted: Fri Sep 09, 2005 7:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote="huck"]To the OP...maybe what you consider an 8 or a 9 is really a 4...I think it's impossible to be honest about ourselves because...

1) either we don't want to seem egotistical to ourselves, so we convince ourselves that we're not as attractive as we really are...

2) or we greatly inflate our value because the face that we've seen in the mirror every day is going to be the one that we compare all others too...[end quote]




Huck,why would ANYONE think that they're an 8 or a 9 when they're only 4,unless they were BLIND? As a matter of fact,lots of guys have told me that I'm attractive,but...----see a previous post by me.


As a matter of fact,it's usually unattractive MEN,not women, who think of themselves as more attractive. Quite often you see a plain guy very persistent around women far more attractive than himself.The same cannot always be said even of attractive women.
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The Man known as The Man



Joined: 29 Mar 2003
Location: 3 cheers for Ted Haggard oh yeah!

PostPosted: Fri Sep 09, 2005 12:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

princess wrote:
Well, my Korean boyfriend tells me I am beautiful but I guess I am not beautiful enough for him to call me everyday. I used to work with a big gal whose boyfriend called her everyday and more than once. I do so much for this guy. I am the one who calls him and sends him messages first. I am nice and a good cook. I guess I just have bad luck. I work with a married lady and her HUSBAND even calls her all the time and my boyfriend won't do the same. Beauty, brains or personality sometimes means nothing. My boyfriend treats me very well but the phone call situation is getting me thinking he's just not that into me. No man is too busy to call like many women say to themselves and their friends. Unless of course, he's the president of a country or an astronaut. That's what the guy who wrote that book said.


Before getting my Bachelor of Education degree I was an astronaut in training.
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EFLtrainer



Joined: 04 May 2005

PostPosted: Fri Sep 09, 2005 12:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Babayaga wrote:
But the 9s and the 10s ? That's just too much stress. Sure I want them. I glance over at them whenever they walk by. I also want a Porsche and a villa in the south of Spain, but I don't start the mortage because I have no capital for that.

When I know a girl is out of my league, I don't even try. It'll only lead to frustration and a harsh reality check.




O.K.,but if the girl is an 8,and so is the guy,then why is he still not interested in HER,but in someone who's a 6 or a 7?[/quote]

Many, many reasons. One of which fits with the quoted post. As a student we looked at the issue of attraction in a study and exactly what was described happens: people are attracted to/approach others in their same range.

Now, I think there is an additional issue that is more emotional. I have a theory: imagine all people on a range of opposites. For example, very emotional vs. very stable, but perfectly balanced is the actual mid-point. Well, think of a couple or potential couple as being two points on this continuum. Generally, things in the universe seek balance. So do people. If you have extreme traits, perhaps you need a partner that has the opposite extreme. Essentially, opposites attract. People that are pretty centrally located would be more likely to hook up with others pretty similar to themselves.... and so on....

Looking at things this way I have learned that there are certain traits that I simply can't live with/can't live without. Not even worth a test run if they aren't there/are there. Saves a lot of time in wasted dates!

Now, then there's physical. I have noticed a trend toward certain features, particularly facial. The interesting thing is it has much more to do with bone structure than coloring, etc. I find other women attractive, but I'm much more likely to be immediately attracted to and/or notice women with these traits, even if other women present are objectively much more attractive. See also the first point. I should say I didn't catch on to this early on in my dating "adventures."

Then there's that whole body shape thing. Yup. Absolutely. There's a certain shape to the hips... Funny thing is, this last point, hot bod/not-so-hot-bod correlates almost not at all with which relationships I actually get into (Definitely in play at the beach, though!) while the face and 1 - 10 scale issues clearly do.

Then there's the real on-any-given-night issue: what's he looking for at that moment? Maybe she's out there and you're not... or vice-versa.

But this is just me. Again, NOT Valentino.[/b]
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EFLtrainer



Joined: 04 May 2005

PostPosted: Fri Sep 09, 2005 12:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

princess wrote:
Well, my Korean boyfriend tells me I am beautiful but I guess I am not beautiful enough for him to call me everyday. I used to work with a big gal whose boyfriend called her everyday and more than once. I do so much for this guy. I am the one who calls him and sends him messages first. I am nice and a good cook. I guess I just have bad luck. I work with a married lady and her HUSBAND even calls her all the time and my boyfriend won't do the same. Beauty, brains or personality sometimes means nothing. My boyfriend treats me very well but the phone call situation is getting me thinking he's just not that into me. No man is too busy to call like many women say to themselves and their friends. Unless of course, he's the president of a country or an astronaut. That's what the guy who wrote that book said.


You do realize this could just be cultural, no? Not being snide. Koreans are generally not nearly as demonstrative as we foreigners, though this has changed quite a bit over the years.

One of the first things my Korean friends told me about love and all it's trapping here in Korea is that if you are saying "I love you" more than rarely, you probably don't mean it. And, if you *do* love someone it will just show through. Might be worth a chat with the fellow.
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Babayaga



Joined: 28 May 2005

PostPosted: Fri Sep 09, 2005 12:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

joe_doufu wrote:
Maybe because the "6" speaks English and none of the "9"s seem to?



Umm,joe_doufu,what did you mean by that?
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EFLtrainer



Joined: 04 May 2005

PostPosted: Fri Sep 09, 2005 12:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Babayaga wrote:
joe_doufu wrote:
Maybe because the "6" speaks English and none of the "9"s seem to?



Umm,what did you mean by that?


Conversation is good. Many Koreans don't have good enough language skills for all that pillow talk, or just a good, in-depth conversation. You'd be surprised how many guys actually value that. (I think... Razz Shocked )
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Babayaga



Joined: 28 May 2005

PostPosted: Fri Sep 09, 2005 12:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

princess wrote:
Well, my Korean boyfriend tells me I am beautiful but I guess I am not beautiful enough for him to call me everyday. I used to work with a big gal whose boyfriend called her everyday and more than once. I do so much for this guy. I am the one who calls him and sends him messages first. I am nice and a good cook. I guess I just have bad luck. I work with a married lady and her HUSBAND even calls her all the time and my boyfriend won't do the same. Beauty, brains or personality sometimes means nothing. My boyfriend treats me very well but the phone call situation is getting me thinking he's just not that into me. No man is too busy to call like many women say to themselves and their friends. Unless of course, he's the president of a country or an astronaut. That's what the guy who wrote that book said.



Maybe you do too much for him,so he's beginning to take you for granted. Just cool your attentions towards him,that will worry him and will make him appreciate you more. It works! As my brother once suggested ,don't chase after people!
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Bo Peabody



Joined: 25 Aug 2005

PostPosted: Fri Sep 09, 2005 2:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

EFL Trainer wrote:
Now, then there's physical. I have noticed a trend toward certain features, particularly facial. The interesting thing is it has much more to do with bone structure than coloring, etc. I find other women attractive, but I'm much more likely to be immediately attracted to and/or notice women with these traits, even if other women present are objectively much more attractive.


EFL Trainer, are you also a relationship adviser or something? because you nailed that on the head. Very true. Yes.

Babayaga, even if you are hot like a 9 or a 10, if you don't match the bone structure that I like, then I'm not physically attracted to you. I also look at the shape of the neck and the round of the shoulders. That is very important for me. Many hot women that society holds up as the beauty standard, I would reject right away because they don't meet my standards.

EFL Trainer wrote:
Then there's that whole body shape thing. Yup. Absolutely. There's a certain shape to the hips...


NO DOUBT! There is a certain kind of shapely hips that I am attracted to. It's not round. Not too big. Not too flat. A certain je ne se quois? It's hard to describe in words but I definitely know it when I see it. This is SO important!

Bazooms are a non-issue for me. It's all about the hips.
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joe_doufu



Joined: 09 May 2005
Location: Elsewhere

PostPosted: Sat Sep 10, 2005 7:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Babayaga wrote:
joe_doufu wrote:
Maybe because the "6" speaks English and none of the "9"s seem to?


Umm,joe_doufu,what did you mean by that?


I thought that was clear... I'm far more likely to spend my time with a so-so looking chick who speaks English than with a hot babe I can't make conversation with. Of course this wouldn't apply in countries where I speak the language well, such as China, or France. This is a serious issue in Korea.
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endo



Joined: 14 Mar 2004
Location: Seoul...my home

PostPosted: Sat Sep 10, 2005 8:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

In addtion;

You might be with a 9, but she's ice cold in bed.

Or you might be with a 7 who does everything and more.
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adventureman



Joined: 18 Feb 2003

PostPosted: Sat Sep 10, 2005 9:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Bo Peabody, how would you rate THIS girl:





8,9, or 10?
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Babayaga



Joined: 28 May 2005

PostPosted: Sat Sep 10, 2005 10:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

adventureman wrote:
Bo Peabody, how would you rate THIS girl:





8,9, or 10?



I know that you directed the question at Bo Peabody,but here's my answer:she's a definite 10!
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numazawa



Joined: 20 Mar 2005
Location: The Concrete Barnyard

PostPosted: Sat Sep 10, 2005 3:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

adventureman wrote:
Bo Peabody, how would you rate THIS girl:





8,9, or 10?


You mean, on the Richter Scale?
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livinginkorea



Joined: 11 Jun 2004
Location: Korea, South of the border

PostPosted: Sat Sep 10, 2005 5:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote="numazawa"]
adventureman wrote:
Bo Peabody, how would you rate THIS girl:

You mean, on the Richter Scale?


Laughing Laughing Laughing
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