Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Wangja]

A man had great tickets for the Grand Final.

As he sits down, another man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the
seat next to him. No", he says. "The seat is empty".

This is incredible!" said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a
seat like this for the Grand Final, the biggest sporting event in Australia
, and not use it?"

He says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. My wife was supposed to
come with me, but she passed away. This is the first Grand Final we haven't
been to together since we got married."

"Oh ... I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find
someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbour to take the seat?"

The man shakes his head. "No. They're all at the funeral."

[jajdude]

Wangja,

Good stuff....

Have you considered stand up for a living?

(Looks like you prefer sit down?)

[Panic Button]

What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe?

[Wangja]

[Wangja]

"All this talk of porridge ... reminds me of the Frenchman on the cross-Channel ferry," recalls David Nichols, of Castlecrag. "Observing a British tourist with a bowl of porridge, he inquired: 'Are you going to eat that, or have you already eaten it?' "

[Imbroglio]

[Wangja]

Sorry, Strines, but a Strine chum sent me this and it was just TOO good to miss ....

Advertised in an Australian newspaper

DISPLAY CABINET

The most elegant and functional display cabinet on the market. Features
fine timber details & 4 leadlight options. With 4 side access doors
there is maximum frontal display. Adjustable shelves are extra deep to
accommodate large items. Halogen down lights, mirror back and glass
shelves provide max illumination of your collectables from top to
bottom.
To give indication of size - previously held Ashes, Rugby World Cup,
TriNations, Davis Cup, Bledisloe Cup.

All now overseas.

To make an offer call R Ponting or G Gregan at 1800-LOST-THE-LOT

[Wangja]

Two Redneck hunters from Mississippi got a pilot to fly them to
Canada to hunt moose. They bagged six. As they started loading
the plane for the return trip home, the pilot tells them the
plane can take only four moose.


The two good old boys object strongly. "Last year we shot six
and the pilot let us put them all on board; he had the same
plane as yours."


Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded.
Unfortunately, even on full power the little plane couldn't
handle the load and went down a few moments after take-off.


Climbing out of the wreck Bubba asked Earl, "Any idea where
we are?"


"Yaaah, I think we's pretty close to where we crashed last
year."

[Wangja]

[igotthisguitar]

This is so sad its ALMOST funny ...

http://www.wimp.com/speechless/

How can anyone honestly think he wasn't "wired" ...

[Wangja]

As obvious punchlines go this one is ..well...obvious, but not too groan-worthy.........

Tired of constantly being broke, and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife (with himself as the beneficiary), and arranging to have her killed.

A "friend of a friend" put him in touch with a nefarious, underworld figure, who went by the name of "Artie." Artie explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was 5,000 quid.

The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money. Artie insisted on being paid SOMETHING up front. The man opened up his wallet, displaying the single pound coin that rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, and reluctantly agreed to accept the quid as down payment for the dirty deed.

A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local ASDA. There, he surprised her in the produce department, and proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands. As the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath, and slumped to the floor, the manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the scene. Unwilling to leave any witnesses behind, Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.

Unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by hidden cameras and observed by the store's security guard, who immediately called the police.

Artie was caught and arrested before he could leave the store. Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the sordid plan, including his financial arrangements with the hapless husband. And that is why, the next day in the newspaper, the headline declared:
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> (It's a beauty)
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> (It's a beauty honest)
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> "ARTIE CHOKES TWO FOR A POUND AT ASDA."

[baldrick]

A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts. The
shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find
any.

My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.

A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted,
"Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!". The doctor replied, "I know you
can't, I've cut your arms off".

'Doc I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home'
"That soundslike Tom Jones syndrome.
'Is it common?'
"It's not unusual."


A man takes his Rotteweiller to the vet. "My dog is cross-eyed, is there
anything you can do for him?"
"Well," said the vet, "let's have a look at him"
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth.
Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What? Because he's cross-eyed?"
"No, because he's really heavy"

[Wangja]

[igotthisguitar]

This guy's good ...

http://www.wimp.com/impressions/

[Wangja]

This could only happen in Yorkshire. Or maybe Wales. Or New Zealand ...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/mb606/F2241577?thread=1247780

News from Yorskhire
Extract from the Yorkshire Evening Post:

"A drunk who claimed he had been raped by a dog was yesterday jailed for 12 months by a judge. Martin Hoyle, 45, was arrested by police after a passing motorist and his girlfriend found a Staffordshire bull terrier, called Badger, having sex with him at the side of a road in Huddersfield, West Yorkshire.

Prosecutor Ben Crosland said the couple had stopped to help because they thought Hoyle was being attacked by the animal. But when they got closer they saw that he had his trousers round his ankles, was down on all fours and the dog was straddling him from behind.

"The defendant mumbled something about the dog having taken a liking to him," said Mr Crosland. "The couple were extremely offended and sickened by what they saw." Another passing motorist contacted the police and Hoyle was arrested as he walked with the dog down the road.

Hoyle, of East view, Marsh, Huddersfield, told police "I can't help it if the dog took a liking to me. He tried to rape me."

He repeated the ra pe allegation at the police station and added "The dog pulled my trousers down." Hoyle, who has had a long-standing alcohol problem, was jailed for 12 months after he admitted committing an act which outraged public decency.

His barrister said Hoyle had no memory of the incident because of his drunken state, but was now very remorseful and incredibly embarrassed.

Jailing him, Judge Alistair McCallum told Hoyle "Never before in my time at the bar or on the bench have I ever had to deal with somebody who voluntarily allowed himself to be buggered by a dog on the public highway. Frankly it is beyond most of our comprehension. It is an absolutely disgusting thing for members of the public to have to witness