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Korean Job Discussion Forums
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thorin
Joined: 14 Apr 2003
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 Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2003 5:01 am Post subject: Face saving hypocrisy |
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I know it�s the same old story. The stupid kid in my �genius� class is misplaced to please his mother. No big deal, I work for a hagwon.
But my director made the mistake of asking me specifically about that class tonight so I told him the kid�s misplaced. I didn�t expect or even desire him to make a big deal about it but he marches me to his office to save his own face by showing me how high his tests scores are etc.
I understand that he�s been programmed since birth not to admit that he or the business he runs has made a mistake but by telling me the kid belongs in the class, he�s doesn�t allow me to save face. He�s basically saying I�m wrong and a bad judge of ability. Of course, I�m not, the kid is misplaced and he�s wrong. If Koreans supposedly invented face saving, how is it that they can�t understand this fundamental flaw in the way that they practice it? |
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Seth Gecko
Joined: 11 Feb 2003
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| Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2003 6:06 am Post subject: |
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thorin said:
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| I understand that he�s been programmed since birth not to admit that he or the business he runs has made a mistake but by telling me the kid belongs in the class, he�s doesn�t allow me to save face. He�s basically saying I�m wrong and a bad judge of ability. Of course, I�m not, the kid is misplaced and he�s wrong. If Koreans supposedly invented face saving, how is it that they can�t understand this fundamental flaw in the way that they practice it? |
See, the thing is, when a director/person to be respected asks another Korean to comment on the decision he's made, the Korean will say something to the director (or whomever) that will allow them to save face, whether or not it is true. I guess they figure we foreigners should do the same.
So, even when they leave you a big opening, you're supposed to allow them to save face. According to Korean custom, anyway. |
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Korea Newfie
Joined: 27 Mar 2003
Location: Newfoundland and Labrador
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| Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2003 8:15 am Post subject: |
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My director: So what do you think about putting Min-ju into X class?
Me: Well, Min-ju's older than those students, so I doubt he'd be happy with them.
My director: Well, Min-ju might be a good influence on them.
Me: I don't think him being a good influence on a bunch of younger kids is what he wants.
My director: I think their English is up to his level, it'll be ok.
Me: I don't think so.
My director: So what do you think about putting Min-ju into X class?
Me: I still think it's a bad idea, as most of what he'll be doing he's already done, and he'll be bored, and will probably quit.
My director: So what do you think about putting Min-ju into X class?
<similar remarks are traded back and forth for about 15 minutes>
My director: So what do you think about putting Min-ju into X class?
Me: I think it's a bad idea. I understand everything you've said, I just don't happen to agree, and I'm sorry. I'd love to stay and chat about this more, but we clearly don't agree, so I think you should do whatever you feel is best for Min-ju.
Next day: Min-ju is in X class.
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Face sucks. |
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thorin
Joined: 14 Apr 2003
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| Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2003 8:28 am Post subject: |
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| Seth Gecko wrote: |
| when a director/person to be respected asks another Korean to comment on the decision he's made, the Korean will say something to the director (or whomever) that will allow them to save face, whether or not it is true. |
ok, so saving face doesn't apply when the person is of a lower status? is that only de facto or in theory too? |
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