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Lonely
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resa



Joined: 26 May 2005
Location: Seoul

PostPosted: Mon Dec 26, 2005 2:39 am    Post subject: Lonely Reply with quote

Lonely and a little bummed spending Christmas and New Year's here mostly alone. I've been here a year and staying another. You long-termers out there, any similar situations? Advice?

Most of my friends here are either in Thailand, North America, or working at winter camps for this week (my holiday). I have a dog and cat here, so I'm not really alone, but they're not humans. Anyway..share if you'd like.
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Ya-ta Boy



Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: Established in 1994

PostPosted: Mon Dec 26, 2005 2:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Most of my friends here are either in Thailand, North America, or working at winter camps for this week


This is one of the times Korean friends come in handy.

The other thing you do is make up your mind that you are going to enjoy the holidays. Then you organize your day (or week) to make sure you do. Everyone has a different definition of what that takes, but most likely it includes a good long book and some other hobbies that you can do alone.

It's mostly in your mind set. You can focus on being alone or you can focus on having the free time to do what you want without being disturbed.
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VanIslander



Joined: 18 Aug 2003
Location: Geoje, Hadong, Tongyeong,... now in a small coastal island town outside Gyeongsangnamdo!

PostPosted: Mon Dec 26, 2005 2:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Aren't you going back to America soon for several weeks of r & r? January or early February?

Maybe focus on that.

Take pictures to show back home, shop for souvenirs and other such gifts.

Etc.
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Hobophobic



Joined: 16 Aug 2004
Location: Sinjeong negorie mokdong oh ga ri samgyup sal fighting

PostPosted: Mon Dec 26, 2005 5:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hmmm....bundle up and go for a walk...just to stretch and get out for a bit...maybe go out and treat yourself to something you've wanted for awhile or put off..

..hang in there....my 5th Xmas away now - it doesn't necessarily get easier, but just a day of planned events for only you can be great...
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bellum99



Joined: 23 Jan 2003
Location: don't need to know

PostPosted: Mon Dec 26, 2005 5:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I just stopped caring if it was Christmas. I buy what I want, when I want. I call my friends and family anytime I want. The holiday means less here than at home. I just have fun as much as possible everyday. Christmas doesn't mean much except in your head. If you are lonely then call your Mom and talk until you can't talk anymore (who cares about the cost since you aren't buying presents).
Been here over 5 years now and this system works for me. Want to buy a gift for the little guy...I don't wait till Christmas...I just buy it now.
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crazylemongirl



Joined: 23 Mar 2003
Location: almost there...

PostPosted: Mon Dec 26, 2005 5:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I get a triple whammy:

last weekend christmas
this weekend new years
next weekend my birthday

Keep busy, and find a reason to treat yourself to something. Perhaps check into a swank western style hotel (like the hyatt) go for drinks and order room service. I always find that you need something once a month to look forard to in order to function well here.
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resa



Joined: 26 May 2005
Location: Seoul

PostPosted: Mon Dec 26, 2005 6:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you all so much. Very great advice and all quite helpful.

Speaking of triple whammys...Christmas last weekend, New Years this coming weekend, and then in between (29th) will be 4 years since my mom died. To be honest, a big part of me really hates December.

Thanks for being helpful and understanding and not blasting me as unstable or a Korea-hater (I see that happen semi-frequently here on Dave's). I appreciate it lots.
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n3ptne



Joined: 14 Sep 2005
Location: Poh*A*ng City

PostPosted: Thu Dec 29, 2005 3:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm in the same boat as you, woulda gone on vacation, but not enough cash...

My solution? Alcohol.

Oh, alcohol is great... makes you want to never leave your apartment. 10 bottles of soju, 5 bottles of coke, order a pizza/fried chicken, and download a movie... if that doesn't do it for ya, go out to a bar and get drunk in public.

Either way, alcohol saves.
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chronicpride



Joined: 16 Jan 2003

PostPosted: Thu Dec 29, 2005 4:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

crazylemongirl wrote:
I get a triple whammy:

last weekend christmas
this weekend new years
next weekend my birthday


Wow, I've got that same schedule. My birthday is Jan.8. Shocked I hate having those 3 big days within a 2 week period and all the stress and planning that comes with it. I wish I would've been born in the summer.
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jacl



Joined: 31 Oct 2005

PostPosted: Thu Dec 29, 2005 7:40 am    Post subject: Re: Lonely Reply with quote

resa wrote:
Lonely and a little bummed spending Christmas and New Year's here mostly alone. I've been here a year and staying another. You long-termers out there, any similar situations? Advice?

Most of my friends here are either in Thailand, North America, or working at winter camps for this week (my holiday). I have a dog and cat here, so I'm not really alone, but they're not humans. Anyway..share if you'd like.


Some of us should get together. Get really hammered. After New Year on the weekend.
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peemil



Joined: 09 Feb 2003
Location: Koowoompa

PostPosted: Thu Dec 29, 2005 2:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Push all that rage into a tight little ball until your heart is as black as night and as hard as stone.

Then you will know peace grasshopper. Then you will know peace.
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tomato



Joined: 31 Jan 2003
Location: I get so little foreign language experience, I must be in Koreatown, Los Angeles.

PostPosted: Thu Dec 29, 2005 3:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm in the Seoul area, too, and I'm in the same boat.
Anyone else in the Seoul area willing to respond?
If we can get a few people together, it shouldn't be an awkward situation.
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Gorgias



Joined: 27 Aug 2005

PostPosted: Fri Dec 30, 2005 10:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

This is a beautiful thread. We all sort of realize we are living desperate, tragic, isolated lives.

Didn't y'all always live like this?

I figured everyone came to Korea and could handle the isolation for years on end, because that's how their lives had always been. That's my case anyway. Summer vacation as a kid, I just walked around in the forest everyday with the family dog. I was happy as hell. I'm still happy as hell in my own way.

If I may recommend a book: you gotta check out Admiral Byrd's "Alone." It's about his stay (alone) in Antarctica in the 50's (it's his actual diary). The catch is: his gas heater was leaking and poisoning him and making him crazy, but he couldn't turn it off or he'd freeze to death. The book is hilarious! Especially once he gets all crazy and religious! I suggest reading Byrd's "Alone" over the holiday to cheer you up!
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jajdude



Joined: 18 Jan 2003

PostPosted: Fri Dec 30, 2005 11:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well indeed the isolation of being a foreigner in Korea can prey upon the mind. A few years here can make one a bit strange. I've seen it happen to people in less than a year. Being the sole white guy among a thousand Koreans day in and day out, tends to affect a person. There is no apology for the hard psychological and emotional reality this impresses upon a guy or girl from far off. When the complainers brood and the others negate that, I find it ridiculous. There is reason for brooding in a hard-entrenched land hard-founded to smile. The act of solo drifts and one feels landless.

Find a little turf, grab the pieces of comfort wherever they may be.
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K-in-C



Joined: 27 Mar 2003
Location: Heading somewhere

PostPosted: Fri Dec 30, 2005 12:05 pm    Post subject: Deep Thoughts Reply with quote

jajdude wrote:
Well indeed the isolation of being a foreigner in Korea can prey upon the mind. A few years here can make one a bit strange. I've seen it happen to people in less than a year. Being the sole white guy among a thousand Koreans day in and day out, tends to affect a person. There is no apology for the hard psychological and emotional reality this impresses upon a guy or girl from far off. When the complainers brood and the others negate that, I find it ridiculous. There is reason for brooding in a hard-entrenched land hard-founded to smile. The act of solo drifts and one feels landless.

Find a little turf, grab the pieces of comfort wherever they may be.


This is one of the most profound postings I have ever read on this site. It almost makes me feel like I could give the ROK another try. Confused What are you up to these days jajdude?
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