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Pick Up Lines That FAIL
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Hollywoodaction



Joined: 02 Jul 2004

PostPosted: Mon Dec 26, 2005 9:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

tardisrider wrote:
"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"


Or, "Did you know that roofies are flavourless?"
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EFLtrainer



Joined: 04 May 2005

PostPosted: Tue Dec 27, 2005 6:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Kwangjuchicken wrote:
I bet this one would not work.

A gay man is in a bar. He walks up to a lady. Then he says to

her, "Wow you are so hot, but I am gay."

Laughing


Then you haven't been watchng that freshman reality show. Seriously. Shocked I was sorry enough to chance across it when sleepless recently.


I'm veeery skeeeered....
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DRAMA OVERKILL



Joined: 12 Apr 2005

PostPosted: Thu Dec 29, 2005 1:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

"How about you and I go back to my place and get some sh*t on my d*ck???"

Very romantic...
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kermo



Joined: 01 Sep 2004
Location: Eating eggs, with a comb, out of a shoe.

PostPosted: Thu Dec 29, 2005 5:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

DRAMA OVERKILL wrote:
"How about you and I go back to my place and get some sh*t on my d*ck???"

Very romantic...


That reminds me of a nice offer I got once. Three men. "Airtight" they said. I asked which one was going to cover my nostril. I found out.
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jacl



Joined: 31 Oct 2005

PostPosted: Thu Dec 29, 2005 7:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

In Asia, what works is this:

Grab the back of her shirt and flick the tag out. Say, "Just checking to see if you were made in heaven". Worked for me. Works better in the summer, I would think. That's when I did it.

Never used that back home, but I suspect it would get me a slap in the face. Depends on the attitude.

It's a classic, cheesy pick-up line.
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kermo



Joined: 01 Sep 2004
Location: Eating eggs, with a comb, out of a shoe.

PostPosted: Thu Dec 29, 2005 8:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

jacl wrote:
In Asia, what works is this:

Grab the back of her shirt and flick the tag out. Say, "Just checking to see if you were made in heaven". Worked for me. Works better in the summer, I would think. That's when I did it.

Never used that back home, but I suspect it would get me a slap in the face. Depends on the attitude.

It's a classic, cheesy pick-up line.


Yeesh. That one gives me the creeps. The idea of a stranger suddenly touching me from behind, especially near the back of my neck... well, it doesn't bode well for the enterprising lad who tries that on me.
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jacl



Joined: 31 Oct 2005

PostPosted: Thu Dec 29, 2005 9:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

kermo wrote:
jacl wrote:
In Asia, what works is this:

Grab the back of her shirt and flick the tag out. Say, "Just checking to see if you were made in heaven". Worked for me. Works better in the summer, I would think. That's when I did it.

Never used that back home, but I suspect it would get me a slap in the face. Depends on the attitude.

It's a classic, cheesy pick-up line.


Yeesh. That one gives me the creeps. The idea of a stranger suddenly touching me from behind, especially near the back of my neck... well, it doesn't bode well for the enterprising lad who tries that on me.


It worked for me because I knew her. It was in Taiwan and her boyfriend owned the bar. It was actually right in front of him. I didn't go home with her on the spot though. That was another time.

Yes. Very cheesy. I agree.
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seoulmon



Joined: 13 Nov 2003
Location: Seoul

PostPosted: Thu Dec 29, 2005 11:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Best pick up line ever:

Hi! Do you speak English?

If they like like you, they'll respond. If they don't like you then this gives them a polite exit.
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kermo



Joined: 01 Sep 2004
Location: Eating eggs, with a comb, out of a shoe.

PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 1:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Here's one that failed this weekend:

"I just need someone to cuddle with! I gotta relax! It's like throwing a dice with all sixes and another with all ones! It's gonna come up seven!"
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JongnoGuru



Joined: 25 May 2004
Location: peeing on your doorstep

PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 1:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The Guru's Sweeping Generalisations & Reactionary Views On Pickup Lines

1. The whole concept is ridiculously out of date and out of place anywhere but in bad '70s disco movies and Western porn flicks.

2. Men have no business using them today; women have never had any business using them.

3. (As I've mentioned in an earlier post) The same woman will respond positively to any line if she's physically attracted to a guy, and will not give the time of day to a guy using the same line if she isn't.

4. The point of a pickup line is to _pick up_. The dictionary defines "pickup" as a casual encounter with someone with a view to having a sexual relationship. Not rollerblading, not snorkelling, not vegan cooking, not Christian fellowship meetings, but sex. The dictionary is correct.

5. You can pick up in a bar, but bars are for tired old people who have either given up the chase or found someone already. Clubs are where you go to pick up/get picked up. Clubs, if they're any good, are noisy. So noisy that words longer than three syllables and sentences longer than five words are inaudible. (If they are audible, the club sucks and so do you.)

6. (to be continued)
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Xerxes



Joined: 10 Jan 2006
Location: Down a certain (rabbit) hole, apparently

PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 1:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Baby, I fell in a puddle of you and I got love all over!
Never used that though, except on people I knew and they knew I was joking. That one just cracks me up though just listening to it Laughing
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EFLtrainer



Joined: 04 May 2005

PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 10:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

**Slluuuuurrp**
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Gladiator



Joined: 23 May 2003
Location: Seoul

PostPosted: Wed Jan 18, 2006 12:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
That reminds me of a nice offer I got once. Three men. "Airtight" they said. I asked which one was going to cover my nostril. I found out.


Does that mean you accepted their proposal?
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Swiss James



Joined: 26 Nov 2003
Location: Shanghai

PostPosted: Wed Jan 18, 2006 12:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

this is a good thread that I didn't notice before- but I've got to dispute people saying that pickup lines don't work, I hardly ever use them but have, in the past, had success with:

"Hi, I've been watching you all night and think you're very beautiful *hands over rose*"
and the even cheesier
"Are you hot in those (PVC) trousers? They're making me hot and I'm not even wearing them"

and my brother once copped off with the rakish
"No names, OK?"

Also the whole bit about a girl knowing within 5 minutes whether they'll sleep with a guy is pure nonsense- I've known girls that weren't into me change their minds after several months, and I've changed my mind about girls too.

A mate of mine had someone use the line "I've got a vasectomy" on her last weekend.
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Mashimaro



Joined: 31 Jan 2003
Location: location, location

PostPosted: Wed Jan 18, 2006 12:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Swiss James wrote:

Also the whole bit about a girl knowing within 5 minutes whether they'll sleep with a guy is pure nonsense


within 5 minutes? yeah that is nonsense, more like 5 seconds.
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